


if teardrops could be bottled.

by tobewritten



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Maggie Sawyer has a sister, Major Original Character(s), Sisterhood, oc female character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-03-07 15:23:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 49,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13437651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobewritten/pseuds/tobewritten
Summary: “I’m Elena. Elena Sawyer. I’m your sister.”in which, Maggie Sawyer has a long lost sister and she's not really sure how to deal with it.





	1. retrace all the past i've left behind

**Author's Note:**

> I probably shouldn't have started writing since my finals are coming up but oh well...
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

  
She squeezed through the hour rush, slipping past and narrowly missing elbows as she maneuvered through the street. She held on to her messenger bag and clutched onto her college jacket.

“Sorry! Sorry!” she shouted as she turned a corner, her bag flying against the motion and hitting a passerby.

She ignored the grimace and the complaints, her feet working fast to get to the crime scene.

This was her chance.

The once in a lifetime chance for her to meet the person she’d been searching for, ever since she enrolled at National City University. The one person that she’d been trying to track down for the past year.

She skidded to a stop as she reached the crowd forming in front of the yellow tape. She huffed out a breath and made her way through. She’s gotta make it. She lengthens herself, stretching her neck and tiptoeing, looking around for the person she was looking for.

she had to find her.

it’s her one chance.

She looked down at the old faded picture in her hand, almost crumpled up now as she held on tightly to it.

It wasn’t till her eyes scanned the area for one more time when she saw her.

The person she had been looking for all these times was standing there; long brown hair flowing with the wind, a forced smile stretched onto her lips and steel in her eyes.

It wasn’t a good time.

It was the only time.

The woman stepped under the yellow tape and headed for the police cruiser.

She knew couldn’t pass up the opportunity. It’s been too many years of needing to find her. She gritted her teeth and pushed her way through and sprinted with all her might to reach the cop car.

“Detective Sawyer!”

the woman turned and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe.

All these years... and now,

now the woman’s standing there, and god, she’s so so beautiful.

“How may I help you kid?”

her breathe remained caught in her throat as she stared, eyes widening is disbelieve of what she was seeing in front of her.

“Hey, kid, you alright?”

It’s only when the woman touched her arm in worry when she felt herself snapped back to reality. She eyes the spot where their skin touches and her brain still refused to make sense of it all.

she cleared her throat and blinked. Once. Twice, still processing that this is really happening. It’s actually happening.

She took a deep breath, releasing the words that she had practiced over and over again in her head, in front of the mirror, in her dreams,

“I’m Elena. Elena Sawyer. I’m your sister.”

\---

the diner that they now sat in was, thankfully, not rowdy and packed with people on their lunch break. Maggie cupped the hot mug of coffee in her hands and let the warmth ground her in the moment.

She took a deep breath, her eyes flitted up to take another look at the girl in front of her before she sighs.

what the fuck?

The girl in front of her looked like she was eighteen, fresh out of college or something like that. She seemed almost in shock; her eyes expressing emotions that Maggie could not quite pinpoint yet while her face remaining stoic still.

Maggie’s certain she looked almost identical.

The detective grabbed the faded picture that sat lightly on the table in between them and caressed it softly.

she knew that pic.

7-year-old Maggie with her - their - late grandmother.

Maggie can’t believe this. There’s no way that this is true.

“i- this was a bad idea. I should go,” the girl - Elena, the detective chided herself - rushed to pick up her items on the bench, scrambling to stand up before Maggie stopped her.

The detective ran her fingers through her long locks and huffed out a breath.

“Wait. Stay, please. I- I just, I... Please,” Was all Maggie could say.

Elena seemed torn for a moment, relief and fear and nervousness briefly flashing past her eyes before the younger girl nodded her head. She sat back down to her side of the bench and started tapping her fingers on the table.

Maggie closed her eyes tight. Her hand itches to reach for her phone and call her girlfriend to help figure all this out - the detective in her wanted to be searching for more evidence, for a full background information on the girl in front of her. But...

It’s too coincidental. The picture, the last name, the...

This is the truth.

“Erm, I... were you... I mean -” Maggie sighed in frustration before continuing, “Aunt Laura would have told me if I had a sister,”

the young girl sighed, pressing her fingertips to her closed eyelids and Maggie pretended not to notice the tremble of her lips.

“I didn’t know who Aunt Laura was or that I had a sister until I found the picture,”

“and when did you...?”

“Three years ago. I was erm fifteen,” Elena’s fingers twitched as she nervously rubbed her neck.

Her eyes were darting across the room, deliberately avoiding Maggie’s gaze. She finally settled on to the cold fries in front of her, picking and playing with her food, haven’t really munched on anything since they ordered it.

Maggie remained in silence, brain contemplating and making the calculations.

Elena would be 18 this year, probably in NCU based on the jacket she’s clutching tightly. The picture had lines marking where the folding was and it felt flattened as if it was stuck in a wallet for quite some time.

The girl in front of her had a slightly darker skin, dark brown wavy hair, falling softly till it reached below her shoulders. Dimples on her cheeks as she pressed her lips together.

Her fingers were shaking.

Maggie figured she should be saying something by now.

“That’s erm. You’re in NCU?” Elena seemed relieved at the change of subject.

“yeah. Err, majoring in Biomedical Science,” and Maggie’s a detective for a reason, and has been for quite a long time now, and she knows that the girl seemed to be wanting to say more about it but is only holding herself back.

Maggie bit her bottom lip.

“You like science?” the younger girl seemed to lit up at that.

A small genuine smile started making its way onto Maggie’s face as the girl responded with an enthusiastic, yet endearing, yeah! before seemingly controlling herself to look cool.

“I don’t see myself in any other career, and I’ve always been interested in research, so yeah,” Elena laughed out nervously.

and Maggie could see the way the girl seemed nervous and out of place under the attention, the detective was giving her. Maggie decided to change tactic instead.

“my girlfriend’s a Biomed engineer. I bet you’ll do well with your studies,” and perhaps Maggie had mentioned Alex just to gauge her reaction. Just to test the younger girl a little.

“gi-girlfriend?” the detective froze, spine straightening slightly as she digs her nails into her fingers.

if Elena had grown up with her family, she probably had been surrounded by all the homophobic and narrowed views on life too.

Maggie steeled herself for the judgment, jaw clenching subtly, controlling herself by not showing how tense she had become,

“is that a problem?” and she probably shouldn’t have said it so harshly but really... she doesn’t need what-could-be-her-sister’s narrowed mindset.

The college girl seemed to recoil back at Maggie’s tone, fear fleetingly showing on her face before she shook her head vehemently.

“No no, god no. I erm, I just... I’ve never met many women who were out and proud,” the girl muttered shyly.

Maggie almost wanted to facepalm herself at the sudden defensiveness.

There was a moment of silence, stretching out between them and there are more words and questions in Maggie’s mind but before she could say anything, her phone rang.

of course, it has to ring.

Maggie bite back the curses running through her head.

“Sawyer,”

Elena watched her... sister? as she ignores her heart that is beating loudly in her chest as she heard one side of the conversation.

“I’m on my way,”

The younger college girl resigned to the fate that her time had ended.

She had found the person she was looking for. All her plan and ideas on what to do, what to say, had fallen flat and now she’s not sure how to navigate from here.

Surely, Detective Sawyer wouldn’t want to waste her time with someone she doesn’t know, doesn’t believe to be her sister.

Surely, this moment would be nothing but a memory as they part their ways and never stay in contact again.

Surely, she is still nothing but a stranger. and that she’ll get over the fact that her heart is clenching and tears are springing to her eyes and that -

“I was wondering if you’re free this weekend? I’d want to get to know more about you?” and with the way, Maggie had phrased it like a question, as if she’s asking for permission, touched Elena’s heart.

Elena nodded her head and Maggie slid her business card to her.

She stared at it for a moment, gulping down her saliva as she held the card in between her fingers.

“My personal number is at the back. Text me when you reached your place alright?”

all Elena could do was nod again, floored over the care that practically a stranger had shown to her.

her eyes teared up and she had to breathe heavily to control herself.

“I’ll see you around, Elena,”


	2. i just wish you could feel what you say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I.. I didn’t know I had a sister, Alex. I - She came today, she was at my crime scene and i think, i think she’s been finding me because she called for me when I was about to leave the area,”
> 
> Somewhere along those lines, Maggie clutched onto Alex’s hands like it's her lifeline.
> 
> “Her name’s Elena. Elena Sawyer and she’s eighteen and she looks so young but also, so so mature and fuck, Alex. I have a sister,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos on the previous chapter! Hope you enjoy this one! 
> 
> p.s updates are going to be slow since my finals are coming up

The first thing that Maggie did when she reached home was to drop all her bags and items straight to the floor, kicking off her shoes and stumbling face down to the couch. A muffled groan left her lips and she pretended not to hear Alex’s chuckle from the kitchen.

“Long day?” Alex asked, flopping down on the floor while rubbing the back of Maggie’s spine.

Maggie melted under the touch, feeling the tension seeping out her body.

Memories of the day played out in her mind not a few seconds later and all Maggie wanted to do was

scream!

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

and someday, she’ll figure out how Alex could read her so easily. But today, she’ll appreciate the fact that Alex opened up the conversation that she had no idea how to bring up.

Maggie hesitated, opening and closing her mouth a couple of times.

Within those few seconds, thoughts run wild in her mind and tears started springing to her eyes.

She has a sister.

An 18-year-old sister that’s studying in NCU, that she hadn’t even known existed till earlier today.

A sister that traveled all the way from Blue Springs, Nebraska, to find a stranger she’d only known about through a picture.

Maggie will bet everything that her parents had thrown out every single item that reminded them of Maggie. and for Elena to find that picture, and to proceed to find her?

that.... that’s surreal.

because 24 hours ago, she doesn’t have a sister.

Doesn’t have a family that’s connected by blood other than her aunt. Not since... not since she was fourteen. But now, everything is shifted upside down, inside out, tilted at an angle that’s making her slip and fall and

fuck.

“I have a sister,”

Maggie didn’t seem to notice Alex’s stunned face as she continued to ramble.

“I.. I didn’t know I had a sister, Alex. I - She came today, she was at my crime scene and i think, i think she’s been finding me because she called for me when I was about to leave the area,”

Somewhere along those lines, Maggie clutched onto Alex’s hands like it's her lifeline.

“Her name’s Elena. Elena Sawyer and she’s eighteen and she looks so young but also, so so mature and fuck, Alex. I have a sister,”

and maybe it’s the fear-stricken face - the wide eyes, open mouth, disbelief written in every cell of her face. Maybe it’s the slight excitement evident in her voice. and maybe it’s both that made Alex pull the rambling detective into her arms and cuddle her tight.

“I have a sister. I... I didn’t know. I didn’t know and Alex, I can’t believe I have a sister,” Maggie continued, pressing her body further and deeper into Alex’s embrace.  
  
Alex rubbed her back soothingly, noting the tremble in the detective’s voice and wondering what else is in her mind that she’s not speaking about.

“Tell me, sweetie. Tell me about her,” Alex encouraged.

And this time, Maggie hadn’t hesitated.

“She told me she’s majoring in biomedical science. and she’s in NCU and she looks like she’s into sports but i... i don’t know Alex! i don’t know anything about her and how is that, how is that possible?”

“Maggie, not knowing her isn’t your fault. They kept this from you,”

“But I froze. I couldn’t ask, I couldn’t believe. She was right in front of me and I... there’s so many questions Alex. But i didn’t ask,”

Alex narrowed her eyes, brain running a mile a minute as she tried to figure out what’s actually bothering her girlfriend.

“Then we’ll find her, you’ll spend time with her and-”

“what if she’s just like _them_?”

“Sweetheart, if she’s been searching for you, I’m sure she’s more than who she’d grown up with,”

Maggie paused and gave a little nod despite her features still looking tensed. Maggie bit down on her tongue to fight back the retort. She cuddled closer to Alex’s side and sigh when Alex kissed her forehead.

“we’ll figure this out. Together, I promise,”

\---

They’re sitting in a casual restaurant; Alex by Maggie’s side and Elena almost had the thought of just bailing the entire meetup.

She’ll be the first to admit that perhaps, she had not thought it through.

_but all those dreams of having a sister, all those picture perfect scenes in her head._

Elena forced down the anxiety in her body, willing her nerves to stop shaking and hope only for the best. She took the seat opposite the couple and tried to remind herself to breathe in deep.

It’s going to be okay.

Elena placed down her bag - rather heavy with all the books that she had been studying before the dinner together, dropping into the seat while catching a quick glimpse of the woman sitting beside the Detective.

and wow.

She’s beautiful too, although there’s a hard edge around her in a way that makes Elena a little more nervous, feel a little bit like she’s being scrutinized.

“Shall we order?” Maggie cleared her throat after an awkward silence, flipping through the menu and Elena took it as a cue to actually say something before this entire thing gets uncomfortable.

“uh i’ll get a erm the baked pasta,” Elena’s voice wavered a little and she hoped none of them noticed.

The silence became more suffocating in the room after they ordered. Elena avoided any eye contacts with the women in front of her and from the corner of her eyes, Maggie was too distracted with her own fingers.

She gulped. _Maybe she hadn’t thought this through._

Thankfully, it was Alex - Maggie’s girlfriend - that broke the silence and tension.

“So Elena, Maggie said you’re taking Biomed?”

Elena fidget under the attention. She nervously pressed her fingers together, steeling her voice and hope the anxiety doesn’t burst out.

“yeah. I’m taking business management as an added credit unit too,”

“Oh! How’s that?” Tension seemed to seep out at the follow-up question and maybe it’s because it’s been a while since someone showed genuine interest in her life without any underlying criticism awaiting. Elena sighed and relaxed a little.

“Great, actually. Though I must say, i don’t find business any exciting? I guess I’m more of a science person and all these business and marketing thing, they’re not really any... Well, they don’t hook me in,”

“so are you more of R&D or M.D?” Alex asked, her chin resting on her palm as she leaned a little forward, looking sincerely interested in Elena’s life.

Elena’s eyes flitted over towards the quiet detective and wondered why it’s so easy to have a conversation with the stranger beside her instead of someone that’s supposed to be her sister.

(perhaps, the term ‘sister’ is too heavy to be carried just like that.)

“Definitely R&D. But I’m aiming for pharmaceutical industries lately,”

“was that... Had that been your dream all along?” Maggie piped up, asking her first question to the younger girl and Elena felt a tiny bit of relief.

this is the first step, right?

tiny, first, baby steps.

“I always knew i wanted to be a scientist since I was like 12. But... well, my parents wanted me to be in law enforcement. Which, well I... that’s not my thing but i tried? Last year, I took Law. But then I quickly transferred after the first semester,”

Elena doesn’t know why she’s sharing all these things. It’s seemed as if, there were so many things she wanted to say and with the way Maggie and Alex are looking at her like they really want to know her, it made all these words tumbled out of her.

“wait, did you skipped a grade?” Maggie perked up, connecting the dots and Elena was honestly impressed with the way she figured that out.

“Yeah, I skipped eighth grade,”

“well, shit, that’s impressive,”

  
Elena felt the heavy weight on her shoulders becoming lighter as the previous awkward tension had dissipated and fallen back to the small corners of her mind. The conversation flowed a little easier after that.

and she found out a fair share of info of both Alex and Maggie.

Like how Alex is a federal agent and that she also has an MD, Ph.D. and plenty of patents under her name. Or how she tends to be working more on the tactical side of her job and that’s how she had met Maggie, on a crime scene. (Elena can’t help to think how picture perfect that seemed) Or the fact that she has a sister, adopted, and that they’re really close to the point where it almost aligns with the fantasy Elena had of her sister, of Maggie.

and also how Maggie had climbed her way through being a detective and is soon, going to be promoted to Captain. Or how she prefers shooting guns over hand to hand combat but would prefer boxing over any other kind of workouts. Or how she studied her ass off in the Academy and that it took some determination and an almost drop-out before she finally made it. Or that Maggie loves softball and baseball and she nearly murdered her high school teacher for even suggesting for her to be in dance.

and perhaps, it was enough. To Elena, it felt like this was more than what she had hoped for and it felt right,

and good. God, it felt so good.

and she wonders what it’d be like if she had her sister since she was born. Someone to look up to, to be inspired by, to be motivated by. Because sitting here, right in front of the detective, Elena can’t help but in awe. After everything, Detective Maggie Sawyer still came out as strong as ever.

Elena knew she would have crumbled and shattered if she were in that position.

The college girl seemed to be in trance as she was sucked into her mind, wondering why her parents had deprived her of this, of someone who would’ve understood her, who may be, would have loved her and support her through and through. Would’ve and could’ve been there when she needs her.

That she wouldn’t have grown up feeling so lonely, and out of place, and misunderstood.

that maybe Maggie would understand.

Maybe she wouldn’t.

Elena shook herself out of the reverie. It was too much fantasy clashing into reality. Too much hope that can lead to disappointment. Too much want that she needs to pull back from.

Her phone started ringing and Elena wanted to kill whoever was on the other line.

really... why...

she tried to ignore the incessant vibration before Alex gently brought up the fact that whoever was calling, had been doing so for the past 3 times. Elena took a sneak at the number before her face went pale.

“Shit that’s my mom,”

Elena excused herself from the table and answered the phone, a new kind of nervousness washing over her.

Maggie shared a look with Alex, tilting her head a little as she observed Elena through the corner of her eyes.

“You alright, babe?” Alex asked, hands reassuringly stroking her spine to smooth out the tension there.

“I think so,”

Maggie leaned forward till her forehead is pressing against Alex’s. She let her eyes close for a moment, centering herself and trying to let the fact that the girl that they’ve been talking to is her sister. Sister.

It’s hard to picture it. Hard to accept it.

Alex pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, caressing her face and Maggie huffed out a soft sigh.

They’ll figure it out. They’re figuring this out.

By the time Elena came back from her phone call, the girl felt different. She’s stiffer and her gaze was lowered to the ground. She remained unspoken while eating the remaining of her food. and when Maggie observed longer, she could see the trembling in her hands.

_what the fuck?_

A quick glance to Alex proves that Maggie wasn’t the only one to notice the sudden change. Maggie wondered if it had something to do with the phone call and for some reason, she already felt protective of the college girl.

A sudden wave of anger washed over her and Maggie had to check herself from crossing a line and asking Elena what had happened.

“I need to get going. I have deadlines and submissions to take care of,” Elena mumbled emotionlessly, eyes still downcast as she packed up her bag.

“Is everything okay?”

The college girl shrugged her shoulders, a pained smile forced onto her lips and Maggie felt the anger pulsed. _What the fuck happened?_ At this moment, she felt the strong urge to really know more about the younger Sawyer. But the one important question remained stuck in her mind.

Are her parents good to her?

But she didn’t get a chance to ask as the college girl left a few bills on the table, before seemingly dashing out of the restaurant. Maggie turned to her girlfriend, intertwined their fingers together before nodding her head with the decision she made in her mind.

“It still feels so surreal and I don’t actually know how to feel about all this but...”

Alex eyed her, with care and love in her eyes, smiling encouragingly for the detective to continue.

“Is it weird that I want to get to know her but I also... I don’t know what to do,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i have a question....
> 
> is it alright if a lot of time-jumps occur in this fic? I'm not sure if i can write a drawn-out story since there's no actual side plot here. hmm How about you guys let me know what you guys would want to read? 
> 
> Also what do yall think of this chapter? 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are truly welcomed and i truly appreciate each and every one of you!


	3. a sculpture of water and unsettled dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I know my parents! You’re probably just like them!”
> 
> in which tension breaks and it's no ones fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Papers were weighted down by the head resting on it; hands still automatically scribbling illegible lines and a murmur of facts was spewed out every moment or so. The dim light of the library was not helping the sleepy youth from getting, even more, sleepier as she tried to stay awake for another hour or so.

Her hand accidentally pushed her bottle to the ground, waking up the entire zombie community, including herself. Elena jumped awake, sheepishly picking up her bottle before deciding to end her study session. Her tired and almost numb fingers felt rejuvenated as she flexed them around, packing up her materials as steady as she can manage.

She’s trembling from the high caffeine and sleep deprivation mixed in her system and she should know by now, how awful that combination is. Especially now when her stomach is empty and she’s sure that the only convenient store open is 10 min walk away to the east of campus. Her dorm, however, would be on the west side of campus and that neither she nor her roommates had done the grocery shopping today.

Sometimes Elena really hates herself and her inability to take better care of herself.

Elena shuffled her way out of the library, her body sluggish and sleep luring her to close her eyes as she maneuvered her way back home. Her bleary eyes failed to see the curb in front of her, and she stumbled marvelously to the ground, hands out just in time to cushion her fall and save her face.

and maybe it's the way she’s so so tired and that she can’t seem to function normally anymore that has her crying in the middle of the sidewalk, probably looking like a god damn mess.

and maybe it’s because life has been a series of lows and she’s just so tired and done with college and socializing and the whole adulthood thing. Maybe she just wants to go home but she doesn’t want to walk home and her best friend should be awake now and might be able to fetch her.

Elena dialed her best friend’s number, rubbing her eyes and just trying to stay awake for a moment longer.

“Hello?” a sleepy, but definitely not her best friend’s voice, answered on the other line.

“uh Ray?” her voice slurred, brain still not processing fast enough.

“I think you got the wrong number, dear,”

and if she was functioning correctly, she would have apologized and hung up the call. But instead, “who are you?” came out.

“you accidentally called Maggie but it’s me, Alex, who’s on the phone right now,” the person on the other line replied.

“Oh Alex! the sister of my dream’s Alex. The girlfriend to the sister I wished I had since young - Alex. The Detective SawyerTM’s Alex-”

“Sweetie, why are you calling so late at night?”

“’dying”

“sorry?” Alex’s surprised voice seemed to be louder and that woke the sleeping girl again.

“stuuuudddyyinngg,” a pause and then a mumbled “I don’t know how to get home,”

“tell me where you are? I’ll ask Maggie to fetch you? She’s coming out of the shower right now,”

“okay,”

there’s silence on the phone now and Elena found it comforting to close her eyes again.

“Elena?” the college girl hummed in response, her body swaying as her head bopped whilst she tried to focus on the voice on the other end.

“Hey, kid, where are you?” it was Maggie’s voice this time and warmth flooded Elena at the soothing voice of her sister.

Sister.

Fuck. She _just_ met her sister. This is not a good impression at all. Elena seemed to sober up a little, eyes shooting open as she finally realized what’s been going on all along. Fuck! She eyed the phone in her hand and groaned in exasperation. _What a great move, idiot. You called your sister who you just met about two weeks ago and now she’s going to see you a mess and have every reason to not want to have anything to do with you._

But at the same moment, Elena was too tired to care.

“NCU library,”

“On my way. Hang tight and don’t move,”

  
Maggie hastily put on a pair of sweats and t-shirt whilst Alex was talking to Elena on the phone to keep the college girl awake. She glanced over at the wall clock, shaking her head as it states that it was close to 5 am. Bless that girl, did she study all night?

Once the detective was fully clothed and ready to leave the house, Alex passed her phone back to her and threw the keys to her car on her way to the door. Maggie caught it swiftly, pressing a chaste kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek before rushing out to pick up the younger girl.

She tried to coax Elena to continue talking but with the way she’s slurring and the constant bouts of silence indicated how the girl is close to being dead on her feet and will actually pass out if Maggie doesn’t reach there in time. Thank god for the lack of traffic and that it’s a Saturday morning... technically.

She reached NCU library in less than half an hour and immediately spotted Elena on the floor, head resting on a streetlamp. Maggie sighed, running towards the sleeping girl and slowly shaking her awake.

“Elena, wake up, please,” a soft “huh?” was all that Maggie was going to get from her. The girl barely opened her eyes before realizing that the detective was there.

“Maggie?”

“Yea, kid. Come on. I’ll bring you back to your dorm okay? Can you tell me where’s your dorm?”

Elena only looked at her with squinted eyes and shook her head. Another sigh escaped Maggie’s lips.

“Is it alright if I bring you back to my place? You can sleep there and I’ll bring you over tomorrow... or later today i supposed,” Maggie frowned as she hoists the sleeping girl gently to her feet, steadying her by wrapping an arm around her waist. Maggie picked up the bags on the floor and grunted at the unexpected heavyweight.

“yes please,” was all Elena replied and Maggie figured she should really hurry up to get the girl into the car before she actually falls asleep on her feet.

 

Maggie had to carry the dead weight of Elena up her apartment, careful not to jostle her awake. She tapped the door with her foot and as promised, Alex opened the door for the detective. She looked sympathetically at the sleeping girl before gesturing to the guest room.

Maggie thanked Rao that they had decided to move in into a 3 room apartment not too long ago. It would’ve been awkward if the only bed available was Alex’s California king that once had no doors or curtain keeping privacy. Maggie gently dropped Elena onto the bed, pulling up the blankets to cover the girl and slowly crept out of the room.

Alex was rummaging through the kitchen, preparing breakfast as she seemed to be unable to fall back asleep. Maggie quietly tiptoed to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a soft kiss on the agent’s neck.

The way Alex melt into her arms makes Maggie swoon a little.

“I love you,” Maggie muttered.

“Love you too,”

It wasn’t until a few moments later when Maggie released Alex from her hold to help her girlfriend in making breakfast. They worked in quiet tender, maneuvering around each other seamlessly, and kept out of each others’ way - Alex, starting the pancakes as soon as Maggie finished her eggs, and then Maggie, toasting her bread while Alex mumbled out something that sounds like ‘gross’

It was the kind of domesticity that Maggie had only dared to dream in her younger days.

The kind of intimacy that she had craved for a long time now.

Maggie glanced over her shoulder, towards the guest room, sighing softly as dreams of having a sister during her pre-teen years flooder her mind.

\---

Elena woke up with a start and with panic, looking around the unfamiliar room and wonder how the hell did she end up in a stranger’s apartment. A look down towards her clothes eased her a little as she was still wearing what she had worn the night before. Laughter echoed down the hall, streaming into the room that she was in, and Elena almost couldn’t recognize the familiar voices.

She squinted her eyes, hands rummaging for her specs before she realized that it was on the bedside table. Okay, really, what the heck happened last night?

She navigated through the unfamiliar hallway. Her head was still hazy and it was starting to pound with every step she took. As she reached the place that she assumed to be the living room, the sudden brightness from the sun entering the window caused a major migraine to spike her brain.

“fuck!” Elena shouted, clutching the side of her head while she rested against the wall. Her eyes were shut tight to block the light out and she heard the patters of footstep coming her way and if she were feeling better, she would have tried to fend for herself.

Instead, there are tears springing to her eyes as the pain in her brain seems to intensify with every second that goes by.

“Breathe, honey. Breathe with me,”

Elena had no choice but to follow the instructions coming from whoever it is. If this stranger wanted to kill her, they would’ve done so anyway. Elena felt her hands were being tugged gently and she followed whoever it was that was leading her to somewhere.

“Sit. and continue taking deep breaths okay?”

Elena figured that if she was going to be killed, the murderer wouldn’t be asking her to breathe. Eventually, the college girl let her guard down, unable to be cautious while still fighting the immense pain in her brain.

“Are you allergic to any medicine?” was the next thing the stranger asked.

Elena shook her head slightly, the sudden motion only able to worsen the pain. Her left hand was clutching her hair, pulling at it as if it would lift the migraine. Her other hand was squeezing the stranger’s hand and she’s pretty sure tears are staining her cheeks right now.

“here, eat some painkillers and drink some water,” another familiar voice spoke up and Elena had to force herself to open her eyes and accept the medication.

It took a while before the migraine calmed down a little, enough for Elena to take in her surroundings and realizing where she is, who she is with and oh shit fuck.

“I’m sorry -” Elena started but was immediately cut off by Maggie.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,”

Elena looked down at the hand she was clutching and sheepishly let it go, pulling away from Alex and staring at the ground. The pain seemed to be pulsating moderately at the back and it still sends little spikes every now and then.

“Um. I should-”

“why were you-”

Both Maggie and Elena clicked their mouth shut and stared into each others’ eyes as if to indicate the other should continue what they were saying. In the end, it was Maggie who spoke first.

“Why were you up so late last night?”

The college girl studied the detective’s stance - hands crossed and feet apart, showcasing that she’d probably already knew the truth and that she’s slightly disappointed in it. Elena frowned, wondering why Maggie is actually looking angry right now.

“I was studying,” Elena merely replied, shrugging as if it was a normal thing to do - and if she’s honest, it is. She spotted Alex giving her an understanding smile.

“Until 5 in the morning? What for?” and maybe it’s the exhaustion but the sudden rise of Maggie’s voice and the intrusive question ticked Elena off. Annoyance washed over her as she tried to bit back the sarcasm.

“I have tests coming up and the last time i checked, it’s really none of your business,” keyword: tried.

“It is my business if you call me at 5 in the morning, dead on your feet, sitting on the curb like it’s a safe thing to do!”

“that was a mistake. I meant to call my friend and i mixed up the numbers-”

“which you wouldn’t, if you had taken better care of yourself,”

and the blood keeps on boiling, mouth keeps on firing words that shouldn’t be said. Alex watched the heated argument from afar, knowing it’s not really her place to step in yet.

“what the fuck? You don’t even know me,”

“But I know my parents! You’re probably just like them!”

the atmosphere in the room seemingly went from 100 to -50 real quick. Elena stared owlishly at Maggie, her brain melting under the pressure, as she seemed almost lost for words at the implication of what Maggie had said. She blinked a couple of times, mouth opening, and closing before she cleared her throat.

_She knows what her parents had done to Maggie. Wasn’t hard to fix the pieces together after she had snooped around._

_and to be like them? Fuck. She can’t even..._

Her heart feels like it’s getting clenched too tightly right about now. The silence in the air thickens and Elena had to take a moment to register what’s been said.

_She’s not wanted here. She had overdone her stay._

“I guess I’ll just go then,” Elena ran back to the room she was in, ignoring the pounding in her brain or the way her heart is breaking and breaking and breaking. She spotted her belongings and grabbed them quickly before making the bed. She muttered a pained thank you as she left the apartment, shutting the door with a soft click.

The silence only seems to be suffocating as Alex watched Maggie standing near the kitchen island, hands on her hip and staring at the ground. Her face seems to be contorted into a frown, biting her bottom lip as she tried to school her features. Her hair covered most of her face but Alex knew better, knew that Maggie’s eyes are glossy with tears.

“Mags?” Alex asked softly, standing up from the couch to approach her girlfriend gently.

“I don’t know why I just said that,” Maggie’s voice broke at the admission. Her resolves broke as soon as Alex embraced her in a hug; sobbing quietly into Alex’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, baby. Let it out,”

“I don’t - I’ve never... It’s too much, Alex,”

“I know, Maggie. I know,”

  
\---

Incoming text: Unknown Number

Hey. It’s Alex. I was wondering if we could talk?

Elena pushed her phone to the side, opting to focus on her schoolwork despite the futile attempt to remain on tasks. Her mind was swirling with everything that had happened the day before, everything that Maggie had said.

It wasn’t like Maggie was wrong.

But she hopes she’s not right either.

Elena will be the first to admit that her parents aren’t perfect - a little too conservative, a little too strict, a little too homophobic. Which had been by she was relieved to leave Blue Springs, Nebraska in the first place. She had learned to keep her mouth shut even when she disagrees with their opinion; learned that the only good way to appease them was to be what they wanted of her.

Along the way, she bends their rules little by little. They had been upset, but they were also old - besides, they trust her enough due to all the truth she hadn’t let slip out from her mouth.

But it had been suffocating. Too suffocating.

Elena will admit that what her parents had done to Maggie - or what she knows of it anyways from people’s talk - was downright inhumane. (It was one of the reasons that she figured that pretending to be what they want her to be, was the greatest survival tactic she could think of. She wasn’t sure if she could survive that kind of treatment.)

To be considered as being alike as her parents? It chafes on her, irritate her heart and sparking her doubts into overdrive. All this while, she tries to not be like them. But what if she is?

Elena sighed and dropped her head on the table. She glanced at the phone another time giving in to her hands that was itching to reply.

To Alex:   
Sure. Meet you at Arnold’s, on Fifth Avenue?

Incoming text: Alex   
Be there in 30.

\---

The breeze ruffled through her short auburn hair and Alex managed to tamp it down before entering the restaurant. She pulled her coat tighter around herself when the cold air-con blew directly into her. Alex shivered, rubbing her arms up and down before searching for Elena.

She spotted her at the booth near the end of the room, looking out of the window with nervous fingers tapping on the table. Alex quickly shuffled her feet towards the girl, clearing her throat before slipping into the seat in front of her.

The waitress passed them their menu and neither Alex nor Elena spoke until their own orders were returned to the table.

“I’m not here to apologize for Maggie,” Alex started, cutting a piece from her pancake, missing the confused look from Elena.

“So why are you here then?”

“I came... Because I need you to understand her side too. and... the rest is up to you, really,”

Alex looked up, only to find the younger girl to be narrowing her eyes as if to read her. Alex kept her face passive, planting a small smile just to ensure that her resting bitch face doesn’t portray out.

“from what she said, i believed she made it clear she doesn’t really want me as her... sister,”

“It’s not like that. I promise you...” Alex paused, eyeing Elena before taking a deep breath.

_Murky waters, thread carefully, Alexandra Danvers._

“Maggie grew up alone with her aunt. Her birth family? I’m sure you know what happened-” A nod from Elena and Alex continued, “and for her to suddenly believe that she has a sister.... She still can’t wrap her mind around it.”

“Maggie learned how to protect herself, her heart, and sometimes, it’s by using her words, and sometimes, it’s making sure that the people she cares about remain at arm's length,”

Alex stopped, glancing at Elena’s pensive look, almost as if she understood that part but also, unable to fully understand it. The agent continued to eat her pancake as she let Elena mulled over what she had said. Alex only hoped that Elena wouldn’t push Maggie too fast or pull away too far after this.

“I’m not like my parents,” Elena muttered after a beat of silence.

“I know,” and Alex catalog the moment Elena looked surprised at her answer.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of their time; eating their food in comfortable silence before separating to their own ways.

Elena doesn’t know why, but she felt slightly relieved and lighter.

_Because after all, who else would understand keeping people at arms’ length to protect themselves?_   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter? 
> 
> Leave Kudos and Comments! Feedback are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> ps. it's been a rough few days for me so i'm sorry if the following chapters are a bit off kilter.


	4. and I let somebody in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry about what I said,”
> 
> Elena startled at the sudden apology, blushing slightly in embarrassment as she choked down her food.
> 
> “It’s alright. I’m sorry for raising my voice at you,”
> 
> or talking is a good thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the story is from Bilie Eilish's song: idontwannabeyouanymore 
> 
> it's a great song do check it out if you haven't heard it before! 
> 
> on with the story

  
Maggie paced up and down her living room, hands nervously tapping her phone as she gathered up the courage. She mumbled out useless pep talks, words that she’s not actually processing in her brain but a way to distract her mind from going overdrive.

She shouldn’t be nervous. Why was she nervous?

The sound of a door creaking opened caused her to jump in her spot before she let out a relieved sigh as she registered Alex entering the apartment. The tension in her body, however, remained high and she wished she could shake it off.

Alex raised an eyebrow at her, slowly placing down her keys on the table by the door, and stalking towards her.

The moment Alex’s fingers touched Maggie’s arm in an attempt of a comforting touch, Maggie finds herself letting go of all the words that were stuck at the tip of her tongue.

“What if she hates me already?”

“She doesn’t,” Alex reassured, firm and steady as if that was the actual truth. Maggie just couldn’t believe it would be that simple.

“She was right. I don’t know her and I just... I let my fear and judgment cloud everything-”

“Maggie, everyone makes mistake. You’re only human and that’s okay,” Alex reminded her, pulling her close.

“I do want to get to know her,” Maggie muttered, falling to Alex’s embrace willingly.

“Then call her,”

The detective let herself melt into Alex’s arms for a couple of minutes, soaking up the confidence and the faith that Alex had. She clutched on tighter when Alex tried to pull away, shaking her head when she could feel Alex’s mouth opening to say something

Another few seconds later and Maggie let go.

She dialed Elena’s number and

fuck. she hoped she hadn’t ruined everything here.

\---

Maggie parked her car in the lot near NCU library. Her fingers tapped the steering wheel with no sorts of rhythm to it. The jumble of nerves in the pit of her stomach is totally not helping her case at all. Her eyes keep flitting to the clock, not a single minute passing by since she last parked there.

Maggie huffed before pulling out her phone, seeing that she had 10 minutes to spare before Elena said she finished her last class of the day. She opened the document Winn had sent her the week before, scrolling through the pages and skimming through the words.

‘Elena Sawyer, daughter of Rosa and Theodore Sawyer.

Age: 18  
Country of Origin: America  
Current Occupation: Student of National City University’

Maggie sighed and shut her eyes; the name of her parents further supporting the truth that Elena is her sister. She kept reading on, ignoring the pang in her chest even as she had read the same document more than once.

‘Recent graduate and valedictorian of Blue Springs High School.’

‘Accepted scholarship to NCU, Bachelor’s of Biomedical Science,’

‘Alumni of Blue Springs High Soccer Team,’

A knock on the car’s window startled the detective. Maggie breathed out a relieved sigh as she spots Elena by the window, waving hesitantly at her. Maggie closed the document hurriedly, unlocking the door and letting the younger girl in.

Elena seemingly dropped down onto the passenger seat and the two Sawyers stared out the window, almost having the same mindset of not looking over at each other. A moment of silence lapsed between them and Maggie wished they could just skip this awkward phase part. God damn it. Why does this have to be so hard?

It was only a moment later before she realizes that they hadn’t actually acknowledged each other.

Such a good start.

“Erm hi?” Maggie resisted the urge to facepalm herself at the way her voice sounded so unsure. Instead, she clenched her fist lightly, pressing the tips of her fingers into her palm.

“hi,” came back a soft reply.

“Are you hungry?” Maggie asked automatically, revving the engine again and getting ready to leave the compound, giving her hands something to occupy themselves with.

“yea sorta i guess,”

Maggie raised her eyebrow at that reply but only shrugged in response.

“I know a good food truck by the park. Keen to try that out?”

“Sure,”

Maggie turned up the volume of the radio, humming quietly to the old tunes that are playing, her eyes casually trying not to look at the girl beside her. The tension in the air seemed to remain in between both awkward and comfortable as the drive continued. Elena remained unspoken in her seat, only casually nodding her head to the beat of the music, ignoring the urge to take a look at the detective by her side.

  
They settled on the park bench not too far away from the food truck with their foods in hand, the closest proximity they’ve ever voluntarily done without it being too awkward. They faced the water fountain, watching little kids throwing coins into it before running off to the nearby playground. Elena started to unwrap her burger, placing a napkin down on her lap to avoid getting stains on her pants.

It wasn’t until they’re both a quarter way through their food that Maggie decided to bring up the things plaguing her mind.

“I’m sorry about what I said,”

Elena startled at the sudden apology, blushing slightly in embarrassment as she choked down her food.

“It’s alright. I’m sorry for raising my voice at you,”

Another awkward pause. Another resignation that maybe it’s going to be awhile before they even reached a better place than this... Maggie decided to go hell with it. If she wants to get to know this girl, she had to let her in in the first place. Her mind recalled back what Alex had advised her to do. That maybe opening up a little wouldn’t be too bad if she wanted to progress.

“When they kicked me out -” Maggie started, voice raspy and too high pitched that she expected it to be, causing Elena to be taken off guard and to place down her burger from her mouth.

Maggie cleared her throat and started again.

“When they kicked me out, I thought I... I made sure I had nothing to do with them ever again. I always wondered how they’re doing, what they’re up to. Unsure if they miss me or if they hated me too much to even care,”

“I didn’t expect that they had another daughter right after they disowned another,” Maggie’s voice cracked, and it tore through Elena’s heart.

Elena wondered if she turns to look at Maggie now, would she see moist in her eyes? But instead, she stared at the ground, jaw clenching and trying to calm the ache in her heart.

“so when you came by... I was more than shocked. Ultimately I guess, I was hurt. Because I have a sister all this time but I didn’t know. That when I was craving for my parents and wondering if I’d just go back and tell them that I could be straight and I could be who they want me to be, they already found someone else to replace me,”

Elena winced, feeling the hurt radiating off the detective, the detective who is her sister.

Tears sprang to her eyes at her parent’s cruelty.

“I’m sorry -”

“This isn’t your fault. I’m not saying cause it’s your fault. What I’m trying to say is that your - our - parents had hurt me too much and I’m still in the process of recovering from it,”

“Am I making it worse? Me barging in all of a sudden, out of the blue. Am I... Do you not...” Elena trailed off, ready to leave, ready to stay, ready to do whatever her sister wants her to.

“No! I want you in my life. That, I’m certain. But I don’t... I don't know how to be the sister you want,”

The loaded question that left Maggie’s mouth caused the two of them to mull over it in silence. Maggie stared up at the sky, watching the clouds and the birds, letting her heart calm down despite the overwhelming feelings threatening to take her under.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, forcing another bite of her burrito into her mouth, giving Elena some time to herself. As Maggie finished off the last of her burrito, it’s when the college girl finally spoke up.

“I’m not going to put you on some level of expectations. I can’t. Because frankly, I don’t know how to be a sister either. It's a two-way thing... But I want... Well, I want us to actually acknowledge that we’re related or something,” Maggie nodded her head at that. She watched as Elena picked the loose threads on her shirt, playing and twirling with it as she continued to talk.

“Our parents... They’re not... I won’t say they’re good, saint people, either,”

“Are they good to you?” Maggie couldn’t help but interrupt.

Elena seemed to pause, seemed to take too long to answer before turning to face the detective with a half-hearted smile on her face, shrugging her shoulders slightly. Maggie tilted her head, a sign of getting a better read on the girl.

“It’s as good as it’s gonna get,” and there’s something sad hidden beneath the statement, something _hurt_. But Maggie sees the deflection of the question, so she withheld the need to push further.

“I don’t want us to go our separate ways later and end up not talking at all after today. I don’t want us to pretend like the past hadn’t hurt us. But I want, I want us to at least get to know each other, be part of each others’ lives in the future. We- we don’t have to see each other every day. I mean who has time for that?”

Maggie placed a comforting hand on Elena’s trembling fingers. The girl actually took a deep breath and her body released a little of its tension.

“How about we meet once every two weeks? Catch up, just the two of us -” and Maggie suddenly thought back on how the Danvers Sisters have their weekly sister nights and decided to take a lesson or two from their books.

“Since we’re in the same city, how about a night just watching movies, eating junk food, talking about anything or not talking at all?” the detective suggested.

“yea?” hope glistened in the younger girl’s eyes and Maggie gulped as she feels the same feeling blossomed in her heart.

“yeah,”

“sounds like a plan, Detective,”

and if Maggie’s face broke out into a grin, well, she can’t help herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's sorta slow burn i'm still trying to figure out Elena's own storyline and character plot, as well as her past. still trying to figure out which one fits best. 
> 
> but you'll get to know more about Elena and her parents soon! 
> 
> Anyways, what do you guys think of this? Comment on what you'd like to see! Kudos if you like it! Thanks for reading!


	5. tough times they keep coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their first official sister night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took a while to get back to writing. hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Mentions of physical violence and homophobia. Do read with caution. Skip the italics part if you're not keen on reading those.

_The door slammed open, harsh footsteps thumping through the floor. Elena clutched the book in her hand tighter and tried to focus on the reading material in front of her. Her eyes glazed over the words, focusing and un-focusing as she tried to ignore the shouting downstairs._

_She doesn’t know when the fighting started, but she knows that it hasn’t stopped since._

_Elena put on her headphones, raised the volume to its highest and pretend like she’s not there. She needed to focus on her test tomorrow. She can’t let it get to her._

_Like clockwork, the shouting got louder, the sound of palm hitting wood rings through the house, echoing in her room. Elena shut her eyes, pressed the headphones closer to her ear in a futile attempt to drown out the voice._

_but no matter how many times this had happened, she’s still unprepared when her father shoved his way into her room and grabbed her by her biceps; fingers digging in painfully but she bit down the sound of pains._

_He ripped off her headphones and she flinched when his voice booms in her ears._

_“You listen here. I don’t care what you’re going to do for a living but you’re going to marry a guy and you’re going to settle down here and help with the farm,” His fingers dig deeper and Elena cried out._

_“Dad, you’re hurting me, please stop,”_

_The smell of alcohol - whiskey - burns her nostril and Elena tried to release his grip but he only grabs her other arm and pushed the younger girl back into her seat. Elena’s heart pounds in her ears and she resisted the urge to puke as his face inched closer._

_“If I hear any of the bullshit -”_

_“Theodore, that’s enough,” and Elena doesn’t know why it took her mother this long to stop him, don’t know where she was while he’s forming bruises on her arms but she still felt a slight relief when he let go at her mother’s command._

_“you better listen to him, Elena,” and there’s something in her eyes that made shivers run down the fifteen-year old’s spine. Fear rushing through her system._

_Elena gulped and nodded her head, a shaky breath leaving her mouth as her parents left the room._

_She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Why her father had made that specific request. Why it’s the same god damn words that he keeps saying to her. Why her mother always stopped him before he can say anything else that would give an inkling to what brought this on._

_Elena rubbed the bruises forming on her arm and bicep. Maybe it’ll be too bad of an idea to find out._

\---

It’s their first official sister night. Two weeks since their last meetup at the park.

The plan was binge-watching movies, and pizza, and sleepover; talk a little about what’s going on and everything in between. Alex had gone to her sister’s apartment for the night and would meet them for breakfast the next morning. It’s a promising plan.

Maggie hoped that the city decides to play nice today and go to sleep for once. If she gets a call, she swears to god-

there’s a knock on the door and Maggie hurried to open it, wiping her palms on her jeans and placing a smile on her face.

Her smile dropped as she takes in the small nature of her sister, god, _her sister_ , holding the strap of her duffel bag with one arm while the other, in a sling.

“what the fuck happened to you?” was the first thing that came out of Maggie’s mouth before she could stop herself.

Maggie widened the door, gesturing the girl inside and onto the couch, eyes scanning the girl in front of her. Elena gave off a sheepish grimace as she sinks into the couch, curling her body over the length of it as she suppressed a groan. Maggie’s eyebrow shoots up as her eyes raked for any other obvious external injury, cataloging a few other bruises here and there.

“Elena,” and perhaps in the accidental detective voice that Maggie had used that caused the girl to actually break into a ramble.

“It’s not bad but it’s damn embarrassing. I swear! I was taking a jog around NCU and my friend’s _dog_ decided to tackle me to the ground and oh god, don’t laugh. Stop laughing. Maggie! This isn’t funny! It hurts for fuck sake. and I hit my elbow pretty hard so it’s not really broken but the nurse put me in a sling and Maggie, I swear to god, if you don’t stop laughing I’m just going to go home,”

To make good on her threat, Elena seemed to rise only to be stopped by a hand wrapped around her wrist. Maggie continued to chuckle for another good minute before wiping imaginary tears from her eyes.

“You got beat up by a dog, huh,” Maggie said as her laughter died down.

“It was a _huge_ one,” Elena exclaimed exasperatedly.

“yea, yea sure honey. Settle down, pick a movie and I’ll order the pizza. Definitely going to make you feel better. Pepperoni and Barbecue sound good?”

Elena gave a thumbs up with her good hand whilst she fondled with the remote and scrolled through Netflix. She couldn’t find a good movie to settle on even when Maggie came back from ordering the food.

“How about Wonder Woman?” Maggie had suggested even though she’s pretty certain the two of them have watched it already.

“Chris Pine and Gal Gadot? Fuck yes. Never a no to them,” Elena replied, clicking on the movie and letting it start. Maggie only smirked at the comment, settling on the other side of the couch and stretching her legs, only to be smacked at the feet when she accidentally hit Elena’s arms.

“Fuck they’re so beautiful,” Maggie caught Elena mumbling under her breath and the same variations of the statement as the movie continued. Maggie observed on in amusement, a knowing sense simmering under her skin. She decided to file those observations for a later date.

As the movie ended, the girls find themselves cocooned in warm blankets from over the couch. Maggie was too deep in a comfortable position to move, hence, reaching blindly for the remote in a hopeless attempt. Elena scoffed as she passed the remote, getting up to head the bathroom.

Maggie figured the night was going well but they hadn’t really done anything other than letting the movie do all the work. The night was still young and Maggie was sure if another movie was to be played, she’ll end up falling asleep instead. The detective took out her phone and quickly send a quick message to her girlfriend.

To Alex:  
what do u and Kara do after watching movie?

Incoming Text: Alex  
talk, gossip, songs.

you can do this babe, love u

Elena settled back down on her side of the couch and swatted Maggie’s outstretched legs away. She reached for another slice of pizza and started nibbling. Maggie placed down her phone, took a second or two to consider what to do next.

Maybe talking wouldn’t be so hard. Maybe.

“So how’s school?” great start. great conversation starter. not mundane at all. good job.

“stressful but it’s all chill,”

“that’s an oxymoron right there,”

“story of my life,” Maggie chuckled at that, deciding to keep going and not let the awkward pause get to them. She shifted her position on the couch, sitting upright and leaning slightly towards the younger girl.

“anyone special in your life?” any guy? any _girl_?

Elena seemed to blanch at that before a blush crept up her cheeks. The girl stumbled and stuttered over her words, almost unsure whether she should deflect or answer. She ended up with a former.

“how’s your special one in your life?” Maggie’s eyes narrowed for a bit, rolling her eyes at the obvious blush on the girl’s face before deciding to humor her a little.

“pretty good actually. She wants to meet you tomorrow for breakfast, by the way, talk about your science or whatever you nerds talk about,”

“Hey! you’re a nerd too, Detective Sawyer, _Science_ division of NCPD,”

Maggie couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips, enjoying the back and forth banter that seems to be natural now between the two of them.

“fine, you win. But you still haven’t answered my question,”

Elena bit her bottom lip, her right hand shooting to her neck to rub there and Maggie tilts her head. She raised an eyebrow at the sudden nervous energy of the girl.

“um it’s not exactly but there’s... there’s um someone. I don’t know what we are though, cause we’re switching between the friends and the.... not-friends thingy,” she seems almost lost for words at that. The detective softened and leaned closer to the college girl. She caught her eyes and in the softest voice possible, she asked.

“want to tell me more about them?” and Maggie’s not one to jump to conclusion but also from what she can tell, she’s beginning to sense where this is going.

“well, he's uh he's really cool. really tall, really funny. crazy smart but also really blunt. Has no problem with calling people out on their bullshit but he's also really nice. But it doesn’t matter. it’s not like it’s going anywhere. Maybe he's just being nice or whatever,”

Maggie decided to let that one go for now. It’s clear from the way Elena’s body seemed to tense slightly that she doesn’t really feel comfortable talking about it anymore. Maggie cracked her brain on what else she could ask of the girl.

Before Maggie can come up with another question, it seems like Elena has her own to ask.

“erm, why you’d move from Gotham?”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed at the question.

“how’d you know I was from Gotham?”

“it’s not hard to google search you know. Or is that something older generations doesn’t get,”

“I’m not that old!” Maggie couldn’t help but chuck her crumpled piece of tissue towards the younger girl. Elena let out a huff as it landed on her chest, throwing it back towards Maggie, who caught it gracefully.

“fuck off,”

“To answer your question, before your rude comment -” Elena sighed in relief as she heard the teasing tone in Maggie’s voice, glad that she hadn’t really overstepped with her snarky comment. “well, Gotham was a hundred layers of fucked up. I needed something less... that,”

“Is it really as bad as what everyone says?”

“oh, kid you have no idea,”

“Did you meet the Bat Fam?”

“Bat Fam? oh you mean Batman and his merry gang,” Elena rolled her eyes at that description but nodded her head nonetheless.

“well, they’re not as impressive as they made up to be,”

“damn,”

As their conversation continued on, it was only a matter of time before something decides to disrupt the night. Maggie’s cell phone rang and the detective excused herself to take it since it's from work. As Maggie answered the call from her bedroom, Elena finds herself wandering towards the bookshelves, examining the multiple picture frames on it.

It was mostly of Alex and Maggie, with an occasional group of friends. They seem truly happy - eyes glistening, dimples showing, smiles stretching till it reaches the eyes - and it causes a smile to warm up her face.

_“Listen to me, sweetie, and listen carefully. I know with all these passing of law of legalizing the gay. They are wrong. You hear me?”_

_The fourteen-year old’s head swarmed with disagreement, but she kept her mouth shut. Nodding her head to appeal to her mother even as she sits in discomfort in the wooden kitchen chair. The Supreme Court had just allowed same-sex marriage across the states, and after reading the news, Rosa Sawyer was on the verge of furious._

_“If I ever hear you get rope up into any of this filth, God help me, I will set you straight myself,”_

_Elena flinched at the threat, knowing her parents would likely make good of it. and it’s not like they’re incapable of setting her straight. The bruises on her arms are evidence of that. She’s not sure what else they might do to her._

_“yes, ma’am,”_

_“good, now go help your father in the garage, before he screams at you again,”_  
  
Elena snapped out of her reverie as she heard Maggie’s footsteps pattering back into the living room. She quickly set down the picture frame that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, only for her skittish fingers to place it wrong, and caused the whole frame to tilt forward and fall, with a resounding crash.

Elena’s heart seemed to stop beating as the sound of glass breaking shatters in her ear.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” _too late. you fucked up._

Elena fell to her knees, frantically picking up the broken glass shards with her bare hands. hands that were shaking as she panicked over the frame.

“hey, hey. Careful there. Elena, hey it’s okay. it’s alright,” but it fell on death ears as the girl continued to shake on her knees, apologizing profusely and muttering how she’d pay for it. that the picture inside is still fine. she’s so sorry. she hadn’t meant to. please. please.

and as Maggie reached out to her, to stop her from accidentally cutting herself with the sharp glass, Elena flinched heavily away from the touch, her non-injured arm automatically covering her face, head tucked into her chest as if to prepare herself from an oncoming blow.

and Maggie’s a detective. and she detects thing. and she knows, _she knows_.

“Elena, you’re alright. I need you to be careful. Please, can you drop the shards in this bin right here,” and with a terrified nod, the girl followed the instruction.

“Now I need you to take a few step backs away from the glass please,” Elena quickly shift from her position on the floor and did as she was told, standing a good 5 feet away from the broken shards on the ground. Maggie quickly swept up the remaining glass pieces on the floor, disposing of it quickly.

She found an extra frame in the drawer of one of the tables, placing the perfectly fine photo into the new frame. After replacing it back on the shelves, Maggie turned to find the college girl looking scared out of her mind, standing rooted to the ground and staring at her feet.

She was still shaking like a leaf and Maggie’s heart clenched at the sight.

“Elena... I’m not going to hurt you. Can I give you a hug? Are you alright with that?” Elena hesitated, looking a little lost in the question, confusion etched all over her face. Her fingers twitched and Maggie made sure to remain her distance to make sure she doesn’t feel suffocated.

Eventually, Elena nodded her head and Maggie wasted no time in pulling the younger girl into her embrace.

“I’m sorry,”

“Hush now, it was an accident,” Maggie soothed her, rubbing her hands up and down Elena’s spine and finding the younger girl relaxing in the embrace. Maggie could tell that the younger girl hadn’t really believed her statement and the detective had to hold off the anger that’s rising because what the fuck.

_who hurt her like this?_

“I’ll pay for your broken frame,”

“it’s just a frame. it’s not that important to replace,”

“but I-”

“No. Right now, all i want is to check if you’ve accidentally hurt yourself and then, we’ll just sleep the night off, yeah?” Elena looked up at the soft tone that Maggie had used, confused as to why there’s no anger or frustration in her voice.

After all, she’d only knew how to make a mess out of herself in front of Maggie.

“are you... you’re not mad?” Elena asked timidly, eyes looking around the room and refusing to make contact with Maggie’s.

Maggie squeezed one long hug for another time before pulling away and gently lifting Elena’s chin up so that she’ll finally look at her.

“I’m not mad. I’m not disappointed. I’m just worried about you,”

and the earnest in her eyes, it makes Elena believe her easily.

Elena let Maggie inspect her hands, noting there were a few scratches but not any other wounds that need to be treated too. Maggie made sure to still disinfect it with some anti-bacterial solution that she had in her first aid kit under the sink, before steering the girl to the guest room.

She guided Elena onto the bed, tugging up the covers once the girl finally laid her head down on the pillow.

Elena never felt so safe before in her entire life.

Maggie was about to leave the room when Elena wrapped her fingers around her wrist, silently begging with her eyes for Maggie to stay. The detective relented without a fight, sitting in the swivel chair from the corner of the room.

“Thank you,” _for tonight, for not being mad, for trying._

Maggie smiled, whispering softly, “Thank you. Goodnight, Elena,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts on it?
> 
> I'm thankful for all the comments and feedback so far! I hope you still enjoy the story.


	6. they took you away on a table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing up what happened that night was what Maggie had planned to do by the time the sun rises and they consumed their caffeine and food adequately. But it seems like Elena had been doing everything possible to avoid the questions that she knew Maggie would ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the comments so far! I really love reading all of them and it keeps me motivated to write more! Enjoy the chapter!

Bringing up what happened that night was what Maggie had planned to do by the time the sun rises and they consumed their caffeine and food adequately. But it seems like Elena had been doing everything possible to avoid the questions that she knew Maggie would ask.

And the fact that she knows exactly when or what Maggie had wanted to ask...

The college girl talked like there was no tomorrow; giving no room for Maggie to ask about last night’s incident. It was the most Maggie had heard her talk and the detective would have gotten swept up in the topics if she weren’t pressed about it. But it was a serious issue, something that grated her nerves and made her skin itches.

Elena was now facing Alex, firing off questions about lab work and tests and samples that Maggie found herself zoning out from.

Maggie may not be as intelligent as her girlfriend by her side, but she’s not a fool.

what happened last night seemed to be a testament to Maggie’s growing assumption. The way Elena flinched so hard due to muscle memory; the way her body recoils into itself to protect from what she assumed was a blow indicated that it probably had happened more than once for that particular reaction to be ingrained like that.

and she’d chalk it up to paranoia, but her guts were never wrong.

it’s just _who did it to her_ , was the question.

“Maggie?”

the detective snapped out of her reverie and tuned herself back into the whatever conversation the girls were having.

“hmm?”

“Elena asked if we wanna head to the park?” Maggie tilted her head, confused at how the conversation led to that but she wasn’t opposed to the idea.

“sure, let’s go?”

the girls left Noonan’s and strolled through down the sidewalk. The park was only ten minutes away from where they were and Alex had an arm around Elena while her fingers were interlocked with Maggie’s.

while Alex and Elena had hit it off almost unfairly easily, Maggie felt some comfort in the little distance she had from the college girl. She needed time to think, to figure out an approach to last night’s incident. Maggie knew she had just met Elena, barely knew her even, but she needed to get to the bottom of this.

She just doesn’t want to mess it up anymore.

\---

Elena’s eyes turned wide when she had spotted a familiar face from campus, her cheeks blushing without her noticing as she realized who it was. She bit down her bottom lip, pretending not to notice her friend and trying to focus on what Alex was saying. Turns out, an FBI agent also has the observational skills as her sister (her sister!!!!). She knew Alex caught her line of sight, smirking slightly before nudging her.

“now, who’s that?” Alex teased her slightly, eyes pointed towards the general direction of the person Elena had just been looking at.

“just a friend,” she mumbled.

Elena glanced towards Maggie, who was still quiet since their walk to the park. Alex caught her gaze again, a sympathetic sigh escaping her lips as they both studied a quiet detective mulling something in her head.

Alex had an inkling that something had happened last night, causing Maggie to be uncharacteristically quiet and Elena, uncharacteristically talkative. Sure she’d only known the younger girl for a while now, but she’s pretty sure Elena is more of the introverted, reserved kind who rather listen than talk.

today’s morning had been all sorts of weird.

“why don’t you go say hi to your ‘friend’ over there,” and Elena rolled her eyes as she heard the air quotes loud and clear despite the lack of actions to it. She mocks a salute, before jogging her way towards her friend.

\---

“Baby?” Alex squeezed her fingers. Maggie looked up in question and accepts the kiss on the forehead from her girlfriend.

“what’s on your mind?” Alex whispered.

A glance to her left made Maggie realized that Elena was no longer with them and that they had actually made it to the park during the time Maggie was caught up in her head. Maggie scanned the park, only to find her sister talking to another girl.

“nothing,” Alex raised an eyebrow, mouth twitching to say something but stopping herself short.

Maggie relented anyway.

“I’ll tell you when we get home?” Alex continued to stare at her for a beat, before nodding her head and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.

God, she really hoped her guts isn’t right this time.

\---

“Natalie!” Elena jogged, stopping short as she noticed a dog’s leash in her hands. Her good hand raised in surrender as a playful scowl flashed on her face. Her friend let out a laugh once she realized what Elena had been referring to.

“C’mon Elena, it was an accident!”

“you sure haven’t made up for it, though,” Elena playfully mumbled, receiving a light shove on the shoulder as she stood beside the brunette. She faked an ow when Natalie had accidentally shoved the injured arm instead.

Natalie’s long wavy hair flowed perfectly against the wind, soft curls framing her face and the smile on her lips seemed almost breathtaking. Elena caught herself staring and quickly flushed down the feeling - her friend is beautiful and she’s only appreciating her features.

“I’ll make it up to you as soon as you tell me when you’re free, Miss I’m-so-busy-with-projects-and-deadlines-due-in-two-weeks,”

“That’s a long name. I wonder who’s that,” there’s a mischievous glint in her eyes and Elena gulped down at how it makes Natalie look a little more... dare she say, sexier. Elena shook herself from the thought.

“hmm I don’t know, she’s about 5 ft 5, slightly tan, dimples on her cheeks -”

“you’re really narrowing it down here,”

“- got a full-blown scholarship to NCU Science Faculty that only like 5 out of thousands get-”

“3 of them are in my class....”

“injured by a dog because she’s too weak,”

“Hey! He caught me off guard okay!”

“oh, we’re talking about you?” Natalie mocked surprise. Elena scowled at her friend, shoved her shoulders and rolled her eyes.

Elena stayed a while, watching Natalie’s dog play around in the grass, rolling around and barking at random strangers to get their attention. She let it distract herself from the inner turmoil inside her. Her eyes side glanced towards Maggie, quickly looking away when they made eye-contact.

she’s not avoiding her. not avoiding the questions at the tip of her tongue.

she’s just...

there’s really nothing to talk about.

She made a mistake and she had believed that she was about to be punished for it. It was only natural.

natural.

“you okay?” Elena snapped out of her tongue and forced a smile on her face. The facade that she’s been using since this morning was starting to wear off, exhaustion creeping in at the amount of energy used just to be more hyper than usual.

but Maggie’s going to ask. and she’s not going to stop and really, Elena isn’t keen on having that talk.

“I’m good,” she lied.

Her phone vibrates in her back pocket.

“You’re still talking to... what’s his name?” Natalie asked, eyes still on her dog that seems to be circling a tree now.

Elena blushed at who she’s talking about.

“On and off. I’m not really sure where it’s going,”

“well, I just hope he’s good to you,”

“me too,” Elena’s mouth quirked up into a smile. She turned back towards Alex and Maggie, saw as Maggie waved them over.

“I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Yea, of course,”

Elena turned and took a deep breath, mentally prepping herself and faking some confidence as she went back to Maggie and Alex.

The look on Maggie’s face already says what she wants to say.

oh boy.

\---

sometimes miracles happen.

sometimes it’s in the form of a phone call from work that made Maggie groaned at the sight.

sometimes it’s in the form of “I have a new lead. I got to go. I’m so sorry,”

and maybe, Elena might have felt a little bad.

a little relief?

It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend time with her sister. She just doesn’t want to spend it talking about what happened.

\---

(Elena wished they had talked about it. Because it’s better than not being able to talk about it _at all_.)

\---

Her breathing came in hard; she could feel the press of every part of her skin to the ground beneath her, the weight of _something_ on top of her. Every inhales burn and gravity only seems to make everything heavier. Her limbs felt numb and she’s starting to become dizzier by the moment.

There was still ringing in her ears but all she could focus on were the orange flames glowing against the walls. The sparks of yellow floating towards her like little stars touching the Earth. Maggie coughed, spluttering blood everywhere as she stared at the ceiling.

She groaned. This is how she’s going to die.

God damn it.

Maggie closed her eyes, controlling her breathing as best as she could. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

Her mind flashes - memories playing like a montage in a movie scene.

Alex. Oh, sweet, beautiful Alex Danvers who had brought nothing but love and joy in her life. Who had helped her find the best version of herself.

Maggie’s lips curled into a pained smile.

Elena.

Oh god. Elena... Her sister. No. No. This is too soon. She just got her sister!

Tears prickled in her eyes, Maggie trashed around, trying to force her way out of the rubble.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Maggie opened her eyes, gasping for air as the weight on her body seems to be lifted up. Her vision cleared and she spotted the familiar blue and red in front of her.

“I’ve got you, Maggie. Hold on, okay? You’re going to be alright,” Supergirl whispered, gently cradling her body and carrying her up.

“El.... Elena... Elena...” Maggie choked out.

Supergirl’s brow creased up at the name, confusion etched on her face.

Who’s Elena? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i do this to myself.....
> 
> can't write anything without some sort of angst, can i? 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> How angsty do you think this fic will be? Leave comments or feedback!
> 
> ps. I picture Natalie as Hailee Steinfield lol my crush on her is only getting bigger and bigger.


	7. there's a crack in my window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “so that’s erm that’s four fun facts about me and I should make it into a five but i can’t think of anything else at the moment now,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the comments so far! i've read it and i love each and every one of them! Don't forget to leave more comments on this chapter! It keeps me going!
> 
> ps. there is some edit in here, nothing major but minor details that makes up the story

Alex sprinted into the hospital, her bloody hands staining the receptionist countertop as she called for one of the graveyard nurses on shift.

“Ma’am, you need to get check out,” the nurse patiently said, passing her a concerned look in which Alex blatantly ignored.

She’s shaking. From the adrenaline or fear, she doesn’t know. Her fingers clenched the counter as she tried to keep her nerves under control.

“I need to find my girlfriend. Please. I need to find Maggie. Maggie Sawyer. Is she okay?” the words stumbled out.

She ran a hand through her hair, grimacing as she felt it wet and sticky. She pulled away, only to find more blood on her hands. A shudder ran through her body.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She should’ve been there.

“Ms. Sawyer is undergoing surgery at the moment, ma’am. A doctor will be out with you shortly. I can get a doctor to check on you in the meantime ma’am,” Alex shook her head, hands crossing across her stomach as she mumbled out thanks.

Her body was still trembling as she breathlessly heads to one of the waiting chairs.

She’s panting heavily, her eyes glazed and everything seems to swirl around her. Alex keeps shaking her head as she recalled what had just happened - the phone call from J’onn, the strapping of her armor, the impromptu raid that was NCPD jurisdiction until they found out last minute there was an alien involved.

no. there were multiple aliens involved.

It looked like a battle lost before her team had even arrived.

NCPD wasn’t prepared for the alien attack.

There was blood everywhere.

so so much blood.

Alex shivered. A hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present. She looked up and found her sister kneeling in front of her.

“She’s alright. She’s stabilized. Let’s get you clean up okay?” Kara coaxed, pulling her hands away from her head, and swiftly checked her sister for any other injury.

“She’s gonna make it?” the vulnerability in her voice and eyes made Kara’s heart aches.

“She’s going to make it. I promise,”

\---

Alex stepped back into the waiting room, freshly cleaned and stitched up, and sat back down in the hard uncomfortable chair. Her sister sat beside her, an arm around her shoulder and Alex leaned against her.

The hospital was quiet, save for the sound of footsteps of the nurses every once in a while. Alex spots a few other people in the waiting room, all in a state of varied emotions.

“Alex?”

The panic and fear in her body had subsided but it’s replaced by some sort of acceptance, some sort of numbness.

acceptance that there was nothing she can do but wait.

acceptance that there was nothing she can do to make it better or to prevent it from happening. Everything was out of her hand and she can't do anything but accept it.

“yeah?”

“Who’s Elena?” Alex frowned, slowly straightening herself as she faced her sister.

How does Kara know about Maggie’s sister? They haven’t mentioned her yet to the rest of the friends since it’s still a sensitive, personal topic.

“Maggie kept muttering her name when i was bringing her here. Who’s Elena, Alex?”

Alex sighed, shaking her head because she knows it’s not a secret she can tell. But Kara already is suspecting something and from the look on her face, she’s assuming the worst right now.

Alex gulped and hope that Kara will forgive her for withholding the whole truth. She knows how much her sister hates lying but Rao, she can't tell.

“She’s someone special in Maggie’s life. Someone from back home,”

“I thought her family -”

“yeah. they did. It’s complicated but she’s important,” Alex stated.

A contemplative look flashes in her eyes before Alex nodded her head to whatever thought was in her mind. She stared Kara, dead in the eyes, serious about her next few words.

“Can you fly me to NCU?”

\---

Elena woke up with a start due to a persistent knocking on her door. A quick glance at the clock indicates that it’s too early for the world to function and all she can wonder is who the fuck is knocking on her door at 4 in the morning.

and for fuck sake, she had a late class today and she’s about to enjoy her damn sleep.

Elena grabbed the baseball bat by her bed, clutching it tightly while she peeped into the peephole.

Alex?

what the fuck?

Elena opened the door and the sight of Alex with wild eyes and nervous energy seeping out of her skin which only intensifies her confusion.

“Maggie’s hurt. She’s in the hospital now and the doctors haven’t said anything but you should change and we can go,” Alex hurried, and Elena could barely process the information but her body found no problem in following Alex’s instruction.

She jumped into her jeans and pulled out an NCU sweater before writing down a quick note to her roommate. She grabbed her keys and purse before rushing out to Alex.

and the sight of Supergirl at the end of hallway caused her to stumble a little.

holy shit.

wow.

Supergirl....

what the fuck is going on right now?

“She’s our ride. I hope you’re not afraid of heights?” and Alex said that as if that explains why Supergirl is here, outside her dorm, in NCU, of all places.

Alex may be an FBI but what the fuck?

major badass points to Alex right then and there.

not the focus here, but fuck! It’s Supergirl!

Elena was barely able to reply Alex’s question before she felt herself being tugged and oh wow. oh, fuck oh no. this is terrifying. this is fuck. oh no. shit this is way too fast what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?

Her feet touch the ground and Elena’s knee buckled. Before she could brace herself, she falls to the ground with jelly legs and a heart dropping from its high.

“never... again. i swear to god,” Elena panted out. She heard a chuckle from Supergirl but as soon as she registered where she was, reality sets into focus again.

Maggie. Hospital. Fuck.

“Where is she?” the high-pitch in her voice gave away the fear that was overwhelming her body. Elena gulped, calming herself down whilst Alex rushed to find a doctor.

Elena stumbled towards the waiting chairs, sinking down into the uncomfortable plastic as her blood ran cold.

“What happened?” was the most prominent question in her head.

the shock of the news hasn’t dissipated yet as Supergirl relayed the tame version of what had happened - omitting vivid details and things a civilian shouldn’t know. Elena barely grasped the different pieces of the story together, something about a warehouse raid and aliens and explosion.

Her breath came out as a stutter as she tried to process the information.

Alex came back out with a doctor in tow. Both Elena and Supergirl shoot up from their seats and the doctor shoots a wary look towards the youngest girl.

“Maybe we should take this to somewhere private,” the doctor suggested, wanting to spare the painful details, knowing that it can traumatize almost anyone.

Elena knows it’s only been a few months of knowing Maggie but fuck no. she won’t sit this one out. She has the right to know about her sister!

_her sister._

Alex cleared her throat, “It’s okay. She’s family,”

and if a confused look made its way onto Supergirl’s face, none of them commented.

A crackle in her ear and news over the comm indicated that Supergirl was needed somewhere else at the moment. Alex nodded her head towards the superhero, but Supergirl shook her head with defiant in her eyes. She's not going to go. Not when Maggie needs her right now.

“Go, you’re needed elsewhere. We’ll update you later,” and it's the firmness in Alex's voice that caused Supergirl to relent.

Elena watched the exchange; watched the hesitant steps Supergirl take before she flew out of the hospital without so much as a nod and a promise to return as fast as she could. Elena watched and wondered how close is Supergirl to Alex?

and how close is she to Maggie?

because from the looks of it, she’s pretty certain Supergirl was about to stay for Maggie, and forgo her duties for a moment there.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when the doctor moved, gesturing them to follow him.

“Three broken ribs, a dislocated patella, a broken ankle. She’ll be in a cast for a minimum of two weeks, but depending on how fast the healing goes, it’ll probably lead up to a month,”

Alex breathed deeply, her hands trembling and twitching. Elena slipped her fingers into Alex’s and intertwined their fingers together. Both girls relaxed a little but it doesn’t make all the tension disappear.

“She had a concussion and so far, there are no further implications of damage to her brain but that will be certain once she wakes. We fixed up all of her internal bleeding and Supergirl got her here fast enough before it became detrimental. For now, she’s stabilized and under some painkillers which are making her sleep so we can further rest her body. She’ll wake up on her own in the next few days. Are there any questions?”

They stopped right in front of Maggie’s room. Elena choked back a sob as she stared at the detective in that bed-ridden state, hooked up to machines and body a little too pale.

Alex squeezed her fingers.

Elena might have missed anything else the doctor had said but the next thing she knows, Alex was pushing the door open and gently guiding her into the room. Her whole body seemed almost in stupor and shock as she sat beside the detective’s bed, the chair too hard to be comfortable. Her hands trembled as she placed them on top of Maggie’s cold one.

Her eyes teared up but she wiped them away.

Alex sat on the opposite side, a sob breaking free as her body shook from the force of her silent tears. A lump made its way into the younger girl's throat as she sees the agent breaking down.

Elena averted her gaze.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

\---

They sat in the hospital room, accompanying each other while doing their own things at the same time. Alex was typing away on her laptop, eyes averting towards the college girl on the opposite side of Maggie’s bed every minute or so.

Elena looked worn out and stressed, her eyes betraying every emotion that she’s feeling. Alex sighed and stopped her work.

She knew how traumatizing it could be, watching someone you love in a hospital bed looking like a mummified version of herself, even if said person was going to be okay. The feelings that evoke from it is far worse than fear and anxiety combined. Alex may not know what exactly the younger girl was feeling, but she’s certain that she has some semblance of understanding of it.

Alex approached Elena, who was sitting in the corner of the room, head buried in her book that she had retrieved after she went home to change. she had emailed all her lecturers and tutors that she wasn't going to make it today and promptly ignored any other messages on her phone.

Alex laid a gentle hands on her knees, causing the girl to look up and Alex’s heart broke at the pain expressed in her eyes. Elena sniffed and raised her eyebrow in question.

“Do you need help with your work?”

and if Elena was surprised at the question, she hid it well even as she nodded her head shakily. She showed Alex her assignment and explained to her the gist of what she was supposed to do. For a moment, Alex was stumped, because since when was organic chemistry that difficult? Alex frowned for a moment, grabbing the book and - after getting permission - started jotting down her train of thoughts.

“So, see you’ve got the amine group and you have the ester group here. So to synthesize this benzene-derivative compound, you can start with toluene,” Alex pointed out, making sketches as she goes.

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed; she knew Elena would usually get this but from the looks of it, she’s barely able to focus on anything right now other than the woman in the hospital bed. Alex sighed, patting her shoulders reassuringly.

A knock on the door startled the two of them and a blonde girl with a ponytail and black-rimmed glasses entered the hospital room. Elena looked up, head tilted as the woman look particularly familiar, though she doesn’t know where she’d seen her before.

“Hey Alex, and erm friend? I bought donuts and coffee,” the woman said softly, placing down said donuts and coffee on the table.

Alex stood up and hugged the woman. They started talking, eyes soft and words reassuring, and Elena felt like she’s intruding a private moment.

“Kara, this is Elena. Elena, this is my sister, Kara,” and it clicked.

“hi, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Elena replied, shaking Kara’s hand.

Kara smiled, although a little force and a lot confused, “I wish I could say the same, but nice to meet you,”

A subtle shake of her head from Alex and Kara shut her mouth before her curious nature takes over. She’s caught off-guard that Alex would keep something from her. Especially something important like the owner of the name spoken during Maggie’s last words.

Oh Rao, not last. she didn’t mean it like that.

“how’s work?” Alex asked.

“The same ol’ robbery and thief that I had to stop -” Kara paled and coughed as she realized who’s in the room with her.

“- to stop Snapper from NOT letting me write. As usual, he erm always giving other people bigger assignments because apparently he still doesn’t believe that i can do it,” Kara laughed it off shakily, her fingers pushing her glasses up her face. A little shiver ran up her spine as she caught Alex’s glare.

Elena seemed to not have noticed her slip up. Kara breathed out a sigh of relief.

It’ll be awkward if she outs herself before she even knows who Elena actually is. Which, on the second hand...

Kara is a reporter and for a reporter to report, they gotta investigate. and that...

well, no one can really blame her for wanting to investigate on the young college girl.

and boy, did she find out easily. things that were just quick google search away.

like how Elena’s last name is Sawyer. The Sawyers that is related to Maggie Sawyer - like sisters-related - and the same Sawyers that kicked Maggie out of her childhood home at the mere age of fourteen.

and how Elena is 14 years younger than Maggie and

Rao. Does Maggie have a sister?

Since when?

“hey Alex, can we talk?” Kara asked, hands wrapping around Alex’s wrist in a gesture that says they really need to talk now or she’s going to burst out loud one way or another.

Alex studied her momentarily before she shifted her gaze to Elena. The younger girl nodded her head and shrugged at the same time, shifting her chair to be by Maggie’s bedside. Both the Danvers sisters notice the hesitant she took to touch the detective’s hand, almost as if she’s afraid to do so.

Kara pulled Alex out of the private room and into the hallway.

“Why didn’t you tell me Maggie had a sister?” Kara hissed, arms folded across her chest defensively.

“How’d you know that?” Alex asked exasperatedly, hands reaching to massage her temple as a headache grew from the news.

“Google exists you know and besides, you told me she was someone important from back home,”

“fuck,”

Kara waited, foot tapping impatiently and if she moved any faster, the soles of her shoe would have worn out by now. Alex took a deep breath, contemplating what to say, how to say because fuck. They did not prepare for this.

“Alex-”

“It’s not my story to share! I’m sorry. This... It’s important to Maggie and yes, you’re right. Elena is her sister,”

“how long have you known about her?” was Kara’s next question and Alex really has no clue why Kara sounds so defensive and offended right now.

“about six months now,”

Kara huffed and released the breath she was holding.

“you and Maggie are going to tell me everything once everything’s all good. you hear me?”

Alex nodded her head, relieved that Kara let this one go for now. She hugged her sister tight, burrowing herself into Kara's safe embrace.

“I’m sorry I hid the truth,” Alex apologized, squeezing her sister tighter and letting her body comfort her.

“I’m sorry i got mad that you hid the truth,”

\---

Elena breathed in a shaky breath. The nurses had come and go, and she tried to reply to their small talks but all it does is make her heart breaks a little more.

“you can talk to her, you know. She might be able to hear you and who knows, maybe she’ll remember when she wakes up,”

which is what she’s been psyching herself up to do since she’s left alone in the room, with Maggie’s sleeping - unconscious - body. She doesn’t know why it’s so hard. There’s no one around. Alex and Kara hadn’t returned and it’s perfect opportunity to pour her heart out.

but she can’t. she doesn’t know how.

what does she say?

that she’s scared? that she wants her to wake up? that she’ll tell her whatever she wants to know if she’d just wake up? and she’s so fucking sorry she ran when all Maggie wanted was to talk.

it all falls flat on her tongue. doesn’t seem right, doesn’t seem fit.

“I hate apples,” was what left her mouth instead before she even realizes it.

and then she realizes she can’t stop.

“I hate apples so much because it’s so painful to eat and maybe it’s because I lost a front tooth when i was seven while eating a stupid red apple; a missing tooth that made me a laughing stock in class,”

“I love sports. I was captain of my basketball team and during P.E. everyone fight to have me on their team for whatever sports and it makes me feel good,” Elena chuckled at the end there. A few tears drop onto her intertwined hand with Maggie’s but she didn’t let it stop her.

“I can play the guitar. I can’t sing that well. I mean, I’m pretty okay but I won’t ever performed in front of an audience because of what happened in fifth grade,”

“Also, punk rock phase is not a phase because I’m still living it until this very day since sixth-grade thank you very much. Although, you can say I’ve broadened my horizons,”

There's a pregnant paused. And Elena found her courage slipped away.

“so that’s erm that’s four fun facts about me and I should make it into a five but i can’t think of anything else at the moment now,”

Elena stopped speaking and stared at Maggie’s face; the detective’s eyes were still closed and all the hope that has been building, while she was speaking, crashed from it’s high.

More tears fell and Elena wiped them harshly with the back of her palm.

Alex and Kara entered the room and Elena figured that it was her cue to leave now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: most of Elena's fun facts are based off my own experience. also, i've projecting lol. 
> 
> I love Elena so much and I can't wait for her to interact with the superfriends as well as more exploration of her own life. I hope all of you are liking the story so far. If there's something you want to see, feel free to comment below or hit me up on my tumblr account: the-girl-at-the-back@tumblr.com. 
> 
> leave comments and kudos if you like this chapter!


	8. are you just comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it feels like she’s high as fuck and stone cold sober at the same fucking time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mentions of underage drinking and hints of homophobia from their parents. i really hate them by the way. 
> 
> thank you for all the comments so far! They really keep me going. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Maggie woke up on a tuesday. Her eyes fluttered open and close, her mind focusing on her surrounding and recognizing familiar voices around her. She groaned as soreness hit her body like a truck. Under her eyelids in the brightly lit room, she could see shadows moving about her.

“Maggie, open your eyes babe,” a soft voice filtered through her ears. Maggie groaned again, unable to say anything else to acknowledge the voice.

“Come on, babe. Just a bit more,”

There are fingers on her forehead, caressing her cheek and stroking her hairs away from her face. Maggie forced the exhaustion that crept in with the soreness out, pushing herself to open her eyes fully.

Once she did, she’s greeted by the sight of her beautiful girlfriend.

“gorgeous,” Maggie muttered before having a fit of coughs. Her throat was parched and it feels like there’s sawdust all over her mouth and throat.

A straw made its way into her lips and Maggie sucked gently, feeling much better and much more awake. Her body still pounds from the aches and she’s still a little lost to what’s going on.

“You’re in the hospital babe,” Alex said.

Maggie frowned, looking down at her torso and only found bandages and cast all over her body. She gulped; head spinning as she tried to figure out how she got there.

It was only after a couple of minutes did it hit her.

She knew a mission had gone wrong. She remembered calling Alex whilst she was hidden behind boxes of crates, trying to get back up for an unexpected alien case. She remembered getting slammed and something blowing up not too far from her.

“Alex?” Maggie turned to her girlfriend, hands reaching out to intertwine with Alex’ fingers.

She’s real. She’s alive. She’s awake.

More flashbacks run through her head and Maggie remembered her final thoughts before she blackened out.

“Elena?”

“I’m here,” the younger girl replied, slowly stepping up to Maggie’s unoccupied side and clutching her other free hand.

“Do you remember what happened?” Alex asked.

Maggie nodded her head and told everything that she could remember. Alex nodded, knowing that at least her memory wasn’t jarred.

“How long was I out?”

“3 days,”

“Are you okay?” Maggie asked next, eyes intently boring into Alex’s.

Alex gulped at the intensity of care and worry she could feel from Maggie. The agent nodded her head, pressing a soft kiss onto Maggie’s hand. Of course, she’d worry about Alex instead of herself right now.

“What about you? Are you okay?” Maggie turned to Elena next.

Tears sprang to her eyes but Elena willed them away.

“I’m good. I’m glad you’re awake,”

\---

Maggie was discharged from the hospital after another two boring days in it, mindlessly switching the channels on the tv that doesn’t even allow sounds because it would disturb the other patients. She would’ve gone out of her mind if she had to stay in that place for a little longer.

and while both she and Alex are used to seeing each other injured, it doesn’t stop Alex from hovering a little. Maggie can tell Alex was trying to be subtle about it - moving items like her phone, medications and a mug of tea to somewhere reachable where Maggie doesn’t have to stand or stretch too much to get them; propping up throw pillows and settling them against Maggie’s back on the couch despite how uncomfortable it would be if she changed her current position. (but this position though.... this is fucking fantastic.)

Alex had called in sick the first two days after she discharged. She stayed at home and mastered her beginner cooking skills that Maggie had faith (okay a little, minute, very tiny amount of faith) that Alex would not burn the apartment down. So far, so good. She hadn’t smelled any smoke. The taste, on the other hand....

Sometimes Maggie wondered if Alex had burned off her taste buds for good.

She’s also pretty certain that Alex, Kara, and Elena had some sort of rotation schedule that made sure that Maggie was never alone much to her own dismay. When Alex is gone, Kara would be over, mouth full of potstickers that she doesn’t bother to share and armed with stories of CatCo and Lena.

Maggie mentally bet that Kara would last till friday night before she brings up Elena.

Elena seems to come by every evening when both Kara and Alex were busy with their own lives, always bringing a pack of gummy bears and her homework. They don’t talk much, settling into a comfortable silence while they do their work. Maggie relished in the comfort, enjoying the closeness easily.

Unlike Alex and Kara, Elena wouldn’t stop Maggie from hobbling through the apartment - watching her with a careful gaze just to make sure - and she won’t stop Maggie from doing stupid things like playing with the Nerf Gun and shooting random objects in the house. (She almost caused a vase to fall off from the shelves and thank god Elena’s reflexes were fast enough to stop it from falling over.)

But it seems that neither Elena nor Kara are ever in the same room together for more than a minute.

Maggie knows that Kara knows about her sister. and Elena knows that Maggie hadn’t told Kara about her and Maggie knows that she knows that Maggie and Kara are quite close.

it’s not that complicated but it is.

and it seems like Elena made a conscious effort to not be in the same room despite Maggie’s protest that she can stay.

“Maybe she just doesn’t know if you want her to be in that part of your life?” Alex replied, settling down next to Maggie on the couch, slowly nudging the cast on Maggie’s leg for more room.

“Was I saying that out loud?”

“Pretty much,”

“I don’t understand what you meant by the way,” Maggie held her mug between her palms, settling it onto her shorts.

“It means that you never properly introduced her to Kara or our other friends and you don’t talk about them with her either. So maybe, maybe, she thinks that you want to keep that part separated from her. You know? and maybe she’s still afraid of stepping on your toes,” Alex explained, starting up Netflix for the night.

“Why would she be afraid?”

Alex turned towards Maggie, face softening as she sees the tension all over the detective’s body.

“Maggie, she doesn’t want to lose you -”

“it’s not like I’m going to cut off all ties -”

“but you got hurt. really bad. it’s the first time she saw you in that kind of position. she doesn’t want to get on your bad side if she could help it. she’s shocked and scarred by how badly you can get injured on your job, and I bet, she feels like she doesn’t know much about you or your life right now. she doesn’t know where she stands, or how to act around you when it’s not just you and her,” Alex explained while watching as Maggie’s brain turns like clockwork.

“so what you’re saying is that she and I haven’t really connected in a way that sisters should?”

“it’s not your fault. you guys met when the two of you had a distinctly separated life. Your life hadn’t intertwined since young - you both grew up individually. So like you guys don’t share every part of your life like Kara and I, do you get my drift?” Maggie nodded her head at that, slowly starting to make sense.

Sometimes, in the midst of everything, she forgot that her own relationship with her sister is far different than that of Alex and Kara. While she just wished she could fast forward to the time where they’re close and tell each other everything, she knows that fantasy is a little far-fetched right now.

Alex’s right. They never integrated themselves into each other lives, they were merely touching the surface of it.

“Movie night is tomorrow. Why don’t we make it Double Sisters’ night?” Alex suggested.

A light bulb lit up in Maggie’s mind.

“Gosh, you’re brilliant!”

\---

Just as Maggie predicted, Kara couldn’t keep her curious questions to herself that very same night during dinner.

“So Elena?”

Maggie took a gulp of her root beer, straightening up in her seat and side-glancing Alex for support. Alex merely shrugged, giving her the look that said it’s all on her now. The detective grumbled under her breath, knowing that she has a lot of explaining to do.

“She came to my crime scene one day with a picture of my late grandmother. Said that she was my sister,”

“and you believe her?”

“Initially? i wasn’t sure. but after i asked Winn to dig through some info and after knowing her a little, i know she’s telling the truth,”

“Is she... a good person?” Maggie frowned at her, biting her bottom lip in retrospect to that question.

“What... I mean yeah, she is. I don’t get it. what do you mean?” Maggie replied defensively, hands crossed while frowning.

“I mean, she grew up there and maybe she’s like-”

“Kara.” Alex snapped, promptly cutting her sister’s train of thoughts. and while Kara is known to be preppy and optimistic of people, she was also cautious and defensive over people that considered family.

god knows how easy it is to want to trust a family member just because they’re blood-related.

It took the detective a moment to understand what Kara was trying to relay. That it could be another Jeremiah, another Astra, another someone to enter their lives only to fuck them up terribly beyond belief.

Maggie appreciates the fact that the blonde reporter was looking out for her, but she can’t accept the fact that Kara just accused her younger sister to be the monsters that were her parents. Especially not when Elena had been nothing but sweet, nothing but reserved and being rightfully so.

“She’s eighteen, and she’s in college. She’s not an eco-terrorist or a Cadmus agent. and she’s just a kid, Kara,”

she didn’t expect the follow-up question.

“so why didn’t you tell me about her?” and it’s the vulnerability in her voice that shook Maggie’s heart. Fear laced with pain echoed through her ear at that question.

She hadn’t realized how withholding the truth could make such an impact on Kara, wasn’t even aware that she’s going to hurt her like this.

“Because I needed to get to know her. I needed to make sure it was real, you know. and besides, we hadn’t really done much other than that one sister night. I’m still not used to sharing my life, Little Danvers,”

“I just thought, you know, I consider you as my sister too. So I tell you everything and it’s just, i guess...” Kara’s hands started flying everywhere as she tried to explain and Maggie shuffled forward in her seat to grab them, pulling it onto her lap.

“You’re like my little sister too. But you know me, I don’t share easily and sometimes it’s just... normal I supposed. I’m not keeping it in or bottling it up. I’m just... It’s not my thing to tell everything,”

Alex placed a hand on her lower back and Maggie melts into it, feeling the comfort and reassurance as she watched Kara registered what she just said. In the end, Kara only nodded solemnly before leaning back into her body, cuddling with her.

“Invite her tomorrow,” Kara mumbled.

Maggie smirked as the Danvers Sisters had the same life of thought. how they easily believed that a couple of pizzas and a night in is the basic solution to a lot of problems.

“I will, promise,”

 

**Meanwhile...**

 

Elena danced to the beat of the music, hands up in the air as she swayed her hips and lose herself among the crowd. Her friends were surrounding her, albeit a little too protective since she’s one of the few that is still below 21 and the sorority party was filled with frat boys and what not.

Someone familiar caught her eyes in the corner of the room and Elena excused herself to catch up with him.

The moment she reached where he was, her entire soul left her body as she noticed who he was with.

“what the fuck?” Elena muttered a little too loudly, scaring the couple in front of her. The guy turned over and on any other days, Elena would admit how much she had been falling for the cute guy in her lab. They weren’t that close but with the way he was texting her for almost a year now... well fuck. apparently, she’s been led on.

“Elena -”

“you fucking led me on, you piece of shit. i can’t fucking... uh fuck it whatever,”

Elena slipped back into the house, grabbing a red cup and chugging it down before refilling it. She ignored the swirl of pain and hurt and fuck it, really? what kind of a fool had she been?

A hand on her lower back caused her to jump and she was about to deck the person behind her with her elbow when -

“woah, you shouldn’t be drinking without adult supervision,” Natalie said, pulling the red cup out of her hands and Elena may or may not have whined a little. (She blamed it on the alcohol.)

Elena pouted, eyes a little blurry because she definitely had a few drinks beforehand and she really needed to drown out the mental image of what had just happened. She jutted her lips out a little and watched as Natalie caved almost immediately.

“wasn’t that the guy who asked you out on a date?” Natalie shouted over the music, hands pointing towards the couple that you had just walked away from, even as she tried to stop you from reaching the cup.

“yeah. well, apparently he found someone else,”

“shit. you okay?”

“i can’t really care right now but oh well, can you let me drink now?”

“one more.”

Elena grumbled under her breath, stealing the red cup back and chugging the remnants left before pulling her friend back to the dance floor. Natalie followed without much protest and Elena felt a surge of confidence rushing through her.

and maybe it’s the alcohol in her system, but the buzz in her body and the way everything hums perfectly as she pulled Natalie flushed towards her was making her stomach do little flips.

_just the alcohol._

Elena let her fingers brush lightly over the other girl’s spine as they moved along to the music, feeling the burn in her fingertips. An inaudible gasps left her mouth as her body thrums to the feeling of her friend being that close to her. Elena took a step closer, and suddenly all she could breathe, all she could feel, all she could see was Natalie.

Time slowed to a still and the music became distant as she’s caught up by everything Natalie.

Her breath left her body as she watched the girl in front of her dance gracefully; the dim lights of the house accentuating her features and Elena knows her friend is gorgeous but holy crap, she’s so so beautiful.

the way her hair flips and falls perfectly into soft curls. the way her eyes sparkle and her lips looking luscious.

(Elena hadn’t realized she had stopped dancing, hadn’t realized that all she’s doing is staring.)

Natalie dropped to the floor and Elena’s body flushed and heated up as the girl dragged her hands down to her calves and up back to her body before intertwining her fingers behind Elena’s neck.

Elena gulped. Eyes never leaving Natalie as they’re pressed impossibly closer together when more people joined the dance floor.

Her skin was on fire and she could feel every part that touches Natalie. Every touch, every contact made her heart pound louder than the beat of the music and she forgot how to breathe as their forehead touches. Elena caught herself looking down towards Natalie’s lips more times than one, her body leaning it slightly on its own accord. her mouth dried and it feels like she’s high as fuck and stone cold sober at the same fucking time.

_alarm bells ring in her head. her parent's voice screaming in her mind._

there was a moment where the world paused. the moment where their lips were almost, almost touching.

and the moment she realized that the world shrunk down into something suffocating. something twisting. something scary. something like panic. something like being in her room while there’s slamming and shouting and

_“I won’t hesitate to throw you out of the house if you’re one of_ them _”_

“I need to go,” Elena whispered, harsh and sharp. Her body trembled as she pulled away and maneuvered herself out of her house and far away from the party.

_fuck. fuck. fuck._

_what the fuck was that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit. 
> 
> thoughts?
> 
> comment below! I do love reading them and it keeps me going. (Also i need reassurance cos i'm needy that way.)
> 
> also, hit me up at my tumblr: the-girl-at-the-back.tumblr.com


	9. when the crown hangs heavy on either side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> movie night is a sacred night for Alex, Kara, and Maggie. It’s how they let loose and relax, bonding over pizzas and screaming at inconsistencies in movies or tv shows. it’s sacred and something that they pledged not to miss. During movie night, they get to shed all their armor, all their walls and just be - existing among space and time. a semblance of normalcy that usually doesn’t get destroyed unless they’re called in for work.
> 
> Elena feels like she’s intruding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the comments! hope you enjoy this chapter!

movie night is a sacred night for Alex, Kara, and Maggie. It’s how they let loose and relax, bonding over pizzas and screaming at inconsistencies in movies or tv shows. it’s sacred and something that they pledged not to miss. During movie night, they get to shed all their armor, all their walls and just be - existing among space and time. a semblance of normalcy that usually doesn’t get destroyed unless they’re called in for work.

Elena feels like she’s intruding.

she settled on the chair away from the couch even though it seems the other three older women found no problem in squeezing on it. but Elena couldn’t fathom how she can be in on that kind of intimacy without feeling awkward about it.

so she settled on the chair because she hates the feeling of claustrophobia if she’s squeezed onto the couch.

“hey kid, are you up to play some PS4?” Alex asked, receiving two similar groans from Maggie and Kara.

Elena lit up although a little confused to the change of plans.

“What games do you have?” Alex smirked at her, pulling out the stack of games from under the tv and passing it to Elena.

“I thought we were going to watch a movie,” Kara groaned although not making a move to stop Alex from setting up the controllers. Maggie chuckled, patting the small space at the side of her for Elena to join.

“Can we play Call of Duty? I haven’t touched that since I moved to college,” Elena asked, taking the controller that Alex handed out to her and moving to sit on the floor by the couch, leaning slightly towards Maggie so that her shoulders touched Maggie’s shin.

“You sure you wanna play a shooting game with an FBI agent?” Kara scoffed as Alex squeezed back onto the couch, eyes rolling at how the night has turned out, though she’s not really opposed to it.

Neither Maggie nor Kara were big video games fan but Alex seems to carry that hobby with since her high school years; always purchasing new console one way or another. Kara loves watching her sister play - the gleeful joy and the youthful energy that she doesn’t normally get to see.

“Bring it on, Agent Danvers,”

\---

Once Elena realized that playing a shooting game with someone who shoots in real life isn’t exactly a good idea - considering that said someone made it her own personal mission to haunt Elena wherever she goes on the maps - Elena decided to play dirty.

strike that. She’s going to make Maggie do the dirty for her.

As Alex got up to refill their glasses, Elena took the opportunity. She faced Maggie, who had been lying on the couch and watching them play for a while now, with an innocent face and hoping that she would catch on.

Maggie raised an eyebrow at her and Elena took a deep breath, “Can you please distract her so I could win at least one, just one, match,” Elena paused for the added dramatic effect, purposely biting her bottom lip to act more innocent and giving Maggie her best pleading look.

Maggie stared shock, mouth moving as if to say something but had no sound coming out. Kara laughed at the other end of the couch, nudging Maggie’s uninjured leg for her to just agree with it. She sent Elena a wink, knowing the puppy-eye trick tend to work with older sisters. A few seconds passed but Maggie was still in a shell-shock mode and the college girl knew she had to up her game.

Elena jutted out her lips a little, widening her eyes and Maggie realized she was _fucking screwed._

honestly? who was she to say no?

She hadn’t had the time to reply before Alex came back and a new match started. Elena keeps side-glancing her and Maggie had to push down the initial surprise before she could plan on doing anything distracting to the agent.

It started with a hand on the thighs, in which was promptly ignored by Alex. Elena huffed when she had been shot again, silently raging as she glances at Alex’s screen to figure out which part of the map she was at. The sound of guns and bullets ricocheting echoes through the surround-sound speakers and Maggie decided to up her game. 

So the hand slides up the thigh, and Maggie leaned a little too close to Alex, fiddling with the hairs on the back of her neck and stroking the skin under her ear almost too seductively.  


Kara coughed out loud, extracting herself from the couch to plop beside Elena.

A shiver ran up Alex’s body and she missed the shot she was sniping, allowing someone to kill her.

Elena smirked. _Finally._

While the two players were still focused on the game, Alex’s kill/death ratio starts to decrease. Maggie realizes how easily Alex can be distracted if she just kissed her in the juncture between her neck and her shoulder, or if the kiss trails across her neck and her jaw.

Both Kara and Elena tried their best to pretend like they didn’t know what was going on behind them on the couch.

“Babe, I need to focus. I’m gonna lose,” Alex whined but Maggie didn’t relent.

A few minutes later and the sound of sudden whooping and cheer startled the detective. She only registered it to be coming from Elena when she spotted the younger girl pumping her fist in the air.

“Suck on that, Agent Danvers. You just lost to a college girl,” Elena teased. Alex playfully rolled her eyes and ruffled Elena’s hair good-naturedly.

“Yeah yeah. That’s like one out of five matches we played,” Alex replied, before turning her body to Maggie and pointing her index finger accusingly, “and don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Sawyer.”

“Who? Me?” Alex narrowed her eyes before realizing that the two Sawyers had planned it all along.

Both the Danvers Sisters looked at Maggie, and then to Elena, noticing how the two was sporting similar overly-innocent faces - looking incredibly alike with the dimples and hair and eyes.

“Oh god, there’s two of them now,” Kara and Alex said in astonishment and fear at the same time.

\---

“Kara! That’s my food!”

“You weren’t eating it!”

“I was saving - Hey! I saw that! Go get your own!”

“Sharing is caring, Elena,”

“...”

“...”

“Alex! Your sister is stealing my food again!”

“Maggie! Your sister is refusing to share!”

\---

Maggie paused at the word ‘sister’. She’s in the kitchen with Alex when the bickering had started. 

Her heart skips a beat at the thought.

Sister.

It’s real. It’s true. It’s _here and right now_.

“hey, you okay?” Alex asked, placing a soft reassuring hand on her back. Maggie melted into her immediately.

She turned to face her girlfriend, beaming up at her and dimples deepening.

“I have a sister,” Maggie said in adoration.

“That you have, babe,” Alex replied, placing a soft kiss on her lips. Maggie pulled her back in as she tried to pull away and Alex relented. They continued on kissing and forgetting themselves a little in the heat of the moment.

“Get a room!”

\---

They cleaned up the apartment and Alex had offered to sent Elena back to her dorm. Elena was waiting by the door, mindlessly playing with her phone while she put on her jacket. Someone stood next to her and the sense of awkwardness made her realized who it was.

“erm hi?” Elena asked, dropping her phone into her pocket and turned to face Kara.

Kara stared at her for a moment and Elena fidget under the gaze. The awkwardness level increased as the silence went on and the college girl wonder why the hell is Alex taking so damn long. While Elena could admit that she and Kara had gotten along quite well in the presence of Maggie and Alex, now, without them, it feels kinda weird.

“listen, we don’t really know each other and tonight had been good - great in fact,” Kara paused and Elena felt some trepidation in her chest.“I know you and Maggie are still trying to figure out the whole sister thing,”

Elena nodded her head, shrinking in her position as Kara looked even taller than she thought. She felt small, knowing that someone important in Maggie’s life might not actually approve of her. She didn’t say anything and waited for Kara to continue.

“Being sisters when you haven’t met since born isn’t easy. But if you- if you hurt her, like how your parents did, you’re going to lose out on something so important,” and even though Kara hadn’t said it out loud, didn’t need to say it, but the college girl heard the underlying threat loud and clear.

that consequences will occur if she, too, fail at being a family.

“Y-yes ma’am,” Elena replied solemnly although her eyes were a little terrified and her voice a little high-pitched.

The moment was broken when Alex approached them with keys in her hands, eyebrow raised at the two of them. Elena stepped back a little, fiddling with her jacket strings and pushed down the anxiety that had rose inside her. She flashed a genuine smile instead.

“I had fun today, thank you for inviting me,” Elena said earnestly, directing it to the three other women in the room.  


They bid their farewells and Elena doesn’t realize that Alex was holding two helmets until they reached the elevator.

“oh uh, we’re not taking the car?”

“Nope. I have a bike. The car’s under repair,”

“Cool. I always wanted a bike,” Elena admitted, taking one of the helmets in her hand to reprieve Alex of it.

“yea? Are you going to get your license too?” Alex asked and Elena blushed when she heard the clear interest in her voice. It's been awhile since someone is actually genuinely interested and care for her. Something that she had ever since she met Maggie. 

Elena shrugged, “I wanted to, but like mom wouldn’t allow? Something about being a lady and all that,”

There was a lull in the conversation and Alex hesitated for a moment before asking, “your parents... are they- are you close to them?”

Elena froze a little but forced her body to act normal even though she suspected that Maggie probably had told Alex some of it. She wondered if Alex knew about the panic attack she had in front of Maggie, and her face flushed in embarrassment at that.

“they-they were really strict but I- once i left, i never- it felt better,” Alex nodded her head at that, jaw clenching a little too lightly as they reached the bike. Elena wonders what’s going through her mind.

The Ducati caught her attention and Elena let out a low whistle at the beautiful bike in front of her eyes, almost forgetting to stop herself from drooling over how gorgeous it is.

“Between you and me, i’m sure we can convince Maggie to teach you how to ride,” Alex waved off.

“Maggie can ride too?”

“Oh, there’s more for you to find out, kid,”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little more fluff a little less angst but worry not more will be revealed soon. 
> 
> if you have any suggestions on what you want to see, leave it in the comments! also i love feedback so feel free to write something in the comments.
> 
> hit me up at my tumblr: the-girl-at-the-back.tumblr.com


	10. this is me breaking down when

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Elena had a revelation, and the Sawyers finally talk about their parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the previous comments! Truly appreciate them!
> 
> tw: slight mentions of homophobia

Maggie was busy filling out paperwork that had been piling up since her mandatory paid leave. Her tired eyes itches and Maggie had to stop herself from rubbing it too much. It’s been a horribly quiet day; the city being on their best behavior for some odd reason. (Not that she was complaining... she’s just craving a little adrenaline.)

Her phone rang and a part of her hoped that it’s a call from Alex, or specifically a mission that needs the NCPD help. Office work had never been her thing and she’s getting restless. She’d do anything to find an excuse to get out of her desk.

She picked the phone up and her eyebrows knitted together as she saw the caller ID.

“Sawyer,”

“oh uh hi? Maggie?” a timid voice replied, sounding almost startled that Maggie had picked up the phone. The crease in her forehead deepened.

“what’s up, kid?”

“so erm I... I’ve been thinking and stuff and like I, well there’s this thing that I need.... I guess I need some help figuring out and you’re the first person to come to mind and I know it sounds a lot so you can feel free to say no and I’ll just-”

“Sweetie, you’re rambling. Of course, I’ll help but on what exactly?” there’s some mumbling on the phone that Maggie can’t make out even as she pressed her phone closer to her ear. The mumbling continued before Elena let out a huff.

“It’s about... It's about me? I’ll tell you when I see you? are you free in the evening later?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up?”

“Sure, uh, NCU library again, please. oh! and thank you,”

“no problem,”

Maggie stared at the phone for a beat, wondering what’s going on and why the sudden call but she only figured that it’s better that Elena had come to her than not at all. The college girl had sounded too nervous over the phone and it definitely doesn’t smooth the worry that was brought up.

despite that, the detective was glad that Elena had come to her; little butterflies fluttering in her chest in pride and honor for being someone that Elena would turn to. She wonders briefly if this is what an older sister feel: protective yet proud at the same time.

She can only hope that she could actually help Elena though.

\---

Elena paced back and forth in front of the bench that Maggie had been sitting on for the past five minute. They had dropped by the pier and found a spot secluded from the public. Maggie watched in concern as different emotions flashed on the college girl’s face even as she tried to keep it neutral.

Elena stopped in her tracks, mouth like a goldfish, before moving again. Maggie sighed and gently tugged the girl to the space beside her.

“Talk to me, sweetheart,”

Dread and anxiety seem to be the dominant emotion that Maggie could feel off of her. The hesitation in which Elena took too long to reply only spike the worry in her chest.

“How’d you know you were gay?” Elena blurted out instead.

and of all things Maggie had expected, she hadn’t expected that. Her face softens as she realized where this is going - everything falling into place as she spots the girl in front of her panicking. While the initial worry dissipates, it is replaced by empathy and a little sympathy. She watched as Elena fidgets and resorted to pacing again.

Maggie sighed before pulling her down. She turned to face her till their knees were touching and held both of the younger girl’s hands.

“I was always sure when I was young. Felt it inside my heart like it belonged there like it’s true. That no matter what other people said, what I feel? It was real,”

Elena plays with the bracelet around her wrist. Maggie waited for the girl to speak up, wondering who or what brought this on.

“How do you know it wasn’t a phase?”

“It takes time to understand, to sort through your feelings. Something that I had to observe and analyze before I could say that “yes. I only have romantic feelings with the same gender. Also, there was this girl named Eliza Wilke,”

Maggie shifted closer, “Are you... what are you thinking?”

Elena shut her eyes for a moment, tears springing into her eyes and Maggie felt like her heart was being tugged at the raw fear and pain radiating from the girl. Maggie’s hands instinctively cupped Elena’s cheeks, stroking reassuringly over the cheekbone and pushing her hair behind her ear.

“There’s this girl... but I’m always certain that I like boys, I felt all those feelings - the butterflies, the nervousness, the temptation. But...”

“But?”

“I can’t be feeling like this. I shouldn’t be. It’s not... _I can’t_ ,”

Elena’s voice cracked and a sob forced its way out of her tongue. Maggie’s chest tightened as she automatically pulled the younger girl into her embrace, her own heart breaking at the sound.

“oh, sweetie. it’s okay. it’s okay. you’re okay,” Elena shuddered and shook her head. Maggie clutched on tighter, whispering soft reassurance and only prayed that the girl would believe her.

Elena tipped over the edge of hyperventilating as her hands gripped onto Maggie’s leather jacket tightly. She pressed her forehead into Maggie’s chest, body trembling and every bit inside her breaking.

“They’re going to kill me. I can’t be feeling like this. They’re going to take away everything and _they’re going to kill me,_ ” she hiccuped.

Tears streamed down her face rapidly and Elena gasped as her lungs collapsed in on her. Noises streamed into her ear like a blast of bombs and everything was too loud, too bright,

_too much._

“Breathe, baby. I’m right here. I need you to breathe,” Maggie coaxed. Hands rubbing up and down her spine soothingly as she held on to the younger girl like her life depended on it. She barely notices the wet patch on her shirt as she continues to murmur words that could ease the doubt and fear away from Elena’s panicked mind.

“They’re going to kill me,” Elena repeated.

and Maggie knew that Elena was talking about their parents. and the detective only felt hatred for them now. anger that they would let this young girl live in constant fear and trepidation because of their own personal conservative opinions.

“I won’t let them hurt you. I promise. You have me now. I won’t let anyone hurt you,”

“promise?”

“I promise,”

Elena nodded her head and pressed her right ear to Maggie’s heart. She let herself be enveloped by Maggie’s body, feeling safe and secure as she burrows further into the embrace. Slowly, her breathing fell into pace with Maggie’s steady heartbeat. Exhaustion crept in and for once, Elena doesn’t feel so alone and afraid.

\---

They’re at a diner now and Elena was playing with her food. Maggie can tell she felt a little better but there are still so many things in the college girl’s mind that she doesn’t dare to speak out. Maggie had been patient and didn’t push for the younger girl to open up.

They had talked about Elena’s feelings and the girl that made her start questioning - someone named Natalie; Elena had tried to talk about her in a nonchalant tone but Maggie can hear the fondness quite clearly. She noticed the way Elena’s eyes shine in forlorn. Saw the way her smile gets a little wider, showcasing her dimples before the girl tries to push it all down.

Maggie’s smile dropped.

She wishes she could give a piece of her mind to their parents for screwing something so beautiful, so youthful, so perfect. The detective took a deep breath and decided that they’ve ignored the topic of their parents for too long.

Maggie still remembers how they were like during her childhood years - firm yet loving, overly-protective yet soft. But she also remembers how easy it is for tension to spark fire; how explosive things would be in an argument, how loud and scary it could be when her father would barge home with the smell of whiskey and cigarettes.

She remembers how suffocating it could be when she had to walk on egg-shells around her parents, just so she wouldn’t be the one to break the tension.

and while her father had been the one to drive her to her aunt’s house with an eerie silence that resonates nothing but fury, she had been lucky that he hadn’t physically harmed her. even with the way his fingers twitch, even if his close-minded brain believed he was protecting her by abandoning her.

Maggie can’t imagine what it’s like in that household now. Can’t imagine if things only got worse.

“Have they hurt you? Our parents?” Maggie asked almost hesitantly. She heard a sharp intake of breath and perhaps she should have eased into that topic.

“a little, here and there. You know, typical parents,” Elena forced out a chuckle, waiting for Maggie to join in but instead, receiving a concerned gaze that causes goosebumps to erupts on her skin. Elena ignored it.

“Have they.... Have they laid their hands on you?”

Elena seemingly froze. Her knuckles turned white as she clutched the edge of the table tightly. Her eyes rapidly scanned the room, looking at anywhere but Maggie.

Should she lie? Should she tell the truth? What exactly did Maggie mean by that?

One accidental eye-contact with her older sister and Elena knew what Maggie had been referring to. Had they hit her? Leave bruises and marks all over her? Had they let their anger get the best of them when something goes wrong and words seemed forgotten? Had they promised that they love her, that they’re proud of her, but yet when day turns to night, all Elena could believe was that every hit was a punishment on how she could be better?

how could she be the perfect daughter? how they love her but they’re not taking any chances and _god damn it, Elena, I won’t let them ruin you; so remember this because if you fuck it up this isn’t the worse you’re going to get._

Elena shook herself from the memory. She gulped before slowly nodding her head; eyes downcast as she did not dare to see Maggie’s reaction.

“How often?” Maggie’s voice was tense and tight, causing shivers to run up her spine and Elena mentally berates herself because she’s safe. she’s safe. Maggie’s safe.

while a part of her wants Maggie to stop asking, the other wants to tell her everything - every bruise, every scar that she had to hide and cover beneath layers of faux happiness. Wants to tell her how their words pierce deeper than any other slaps across the face just cause she had done something wrong. just cause she hadn’t anything wrong but she hadn’t done anything right either.

“Usually when they’re drunk or when I’d done something wrong,” Elena mumbled through gritted teeth. She pulled back into her seat, arms crossed, and trying to not let the panic of vulnerability wash over her.

Maggie took a deep breath, fingers curled into fists.

Elena’s eyes dart towards them; her heart picking up at a rapid pace.

_Maggie is safe. Maggie is safe._

Elena shut her eyes, wondering if Maggie’s going to make her talk with her own  _fist flying towards her face._

_She’s not them!_ Elena mentally berates herself.

“and how often is that?”

a shaky breath, a trembling figure, “almost every day,”. Elena tried to emphasize on the almost part, knowing that it’s not every time her parents are mean. It’s just on a certain timing. That the fact that they hadn’t abandoned her is good enough; supporting her with a roof on top of her head and a meal in front of her constantly every day.

that sure, they expected a lot out of her and no matter how hard she tried, she’ll never reach those expectations.

that it’s normal. every parent wants the best out of their children.

and sometimes they use physical means to bring the lesson across.

right?

“Elena? You know what they did was wrong right?” Maggie asked, worry etched on her face.

Elena inhaled as deeply as she could, counting her breath in her head and trying to just calm the fuck down.

_She knew it was wrong._

_She knew that normal people won’t enter their house with fear and anxiety, playing a game on how long she can last without getting in trouble._

_even when her mother wouldn’t say it out loud but the displeasure would echo through the house until the only thing that stops it would be the sound of breaking glass when her father comes home._

_that she will never please them, will never do them right._

_and they made sure she remembers that every single night even though she doesn’t know what she’d done wrong to get punished like this._

“they’re better now. They’re not that bad anymore,” Elena whispered.

Because those only happened before she turned seventeen. That things start to mellow out, that their iron fists start to loosen up once she moved away to college. That she barely remembers any of it until something triggers it.

That her parents became somewhat better and maybe, maybe, it’s just part and parcel of life. Right?

_it had to be._

because how else can she explain that she can’t blame them when they no longer raise their hands at her anymore. That it was all in the past so she should leave it there.

“Elena-”

“Can we go home, please?” Maggie snapped her mouth shut and nodded her head. The look Elena gave her indicates that she doesn’t and wouldn’t talk about it anymore. Maggie’s eyes looked a little resigned even as the guilt of pushing too much starts to gnaw at her.

“Alright, let me pay and I’ll send you back to your dorm,” Maggie got up to head towards the cashier when a hand wrapped around her wrists. She looked down and Elena shook her head almost shyly.

“I don’t have classes tomorrow. Can I- May I-” and it suddenly dawns on Maggie. Maggie’s mouth opens in an O shape as the revelation settled in her mind.

“you’re always welcome in our home,” Maggie whispered, placing a soft kiss on Elena’s forehead.

\---

“Babe, I love you but if you move one more time...”

“I just... I-”

“Go to her, Mags. She needs her sister,”

“you sure? you’re going to be alone in this huge ass bed,”

“and Elena feels even lonelier in a smaller bed. Go! and stop disturbing my sleep,”

Maggie chuckled even as she pushed the blankets off her body. She pressed a kiss on Alex’s cheek and was about to go for her lips when she was shoved out of the bed.

“ow,”

“Serves you right,” Alex mumbled sleepily.

“Goodnight, Al,” Maggie whispered as she tip-toed her way out of their bedroom. Alex was too deep in her sleep to reply her and Maggie smiled softly. She made her way to the guest room, softly knocking on the door in case Elena wasn’t awake.

“come in,” was heard and Maggie slipped through the door. Her feet patted towards Elena’s bedside and she sat at the edge of the bed.

“Can I -”

“Will you-” they both started at the same time. Elena lifted one side of the blanket with a pleading look on her face and Maggie wouldn’t have denied her either way.

The detective crawled over and snuggled herself into her younger sister’s body. She wrapped her arms protectively around Elena’s waist and feel the girl soften in the embrace.

“You’re not alone anymore,” Maggie whispered.

and for the hundredth time that day, Elena felt like crying in relief. She pulled Maggie’s arms tighter around her body and let the warmth lulled her to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment on what you think below!
> 
> I'd really like to know how this chapter turns out since it's pretty heavy. So please do let me know what you guys think of it!
> 
> Also: i'm looking for beta readers and if you're interested, please send a message over at my tumblr: the-girl-at-the-back.tumblr.com 
> 
> thanks for reading!


	11. i'll be by your side until the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff! fluff! fluff!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and love that you've been showering me with this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Elena doesn’t know what to do with the new found revelation even as she goes about her day like it means to go on. She’s skittish and awkward, not sure what to do with herself as she interacts with the people around her - with her beautiful friends that she realized she had crushes on before. She doesn’t know how to act normal. In her head, she knows she’s no longer categorized as “normal”.

In her head, in her parent’s voice, she’s a “not-normal-and-needs-help” and maybe it’s just a phase, maybe it’s that time of the year where she experiments.

that this isn’t permanent.

but what’s so wrong with liking... the same gender?

Pushing the hair out of her face in frustration, Elena tried to focus back on the text that she was supposed to be studying. Keyword: tried. because really, she hasn’t been able to focus at all since she tried to speak it out loud (which by the way, had been an epic fail every time.) It’s been plaguing her mind like a virus, spreading out to every nook and cranny of her brain and destroying any other thoughts that are, admittedly, more important than this.

Like a virus, it’s foreign.

Unlike a virus, there’s no antibody to ingest, digest, and expelled it out of her system.

God, she’s such a nerd.

And as a nerd, she should really be studying for the test tomorrow morning. But her god damn mind won’t stop going back to the blaring thought that she might be-

might be something other than what she thought she was before.

(there’s a voice, in the back of her mind that sounds like her mother: shouting and slamming and hitting.)

Elena steadied her breath, calming her heart down and tries not to dwell on what her parents would do to her if they find out.

_they’re not going to find out if she doesn’t let it out in the first place. Maybe she could just ignore it. Accept that those feelings are there but don’t really act on it._

She grabbed the pillow and stuffed her face into it, screaming outwardly at her internal struggle before slumping back down in defeat, pillow thrown to the side.

She can’t do this.

What the fuck is she doing?

\----

there were a rose and a letter on her table. Maggie Sawyer may be a badass but the moment she saw those two things, she finds herself giddy with emotions. Her colleagues had been teasing her when they saw the crack of a smile - something about the world ending now that Detective Sawyer was positively glowing in the middle of the day.

But Maggie was too happy to pay attention to it.

The letter started with a

_Dear Maggie Sawyer,_

_I love you so much and I know you hate surprises so I won’t spring this up on you like how I had initially wanted to. So I’m writing to you this letter because I wanted to give you a heads up on what’s going to happen when you come home and hopefully, by the end of this letter, you’ll figure it out yourself what the surprise would have been about._

_I love you, Maggie. I truly, whole-heartedly, undeniably do._

Maggie’s eyes teared up, her right hand flying to her mouth. Her stomach doing little flips as she continued reading the letter.

_We had so many talks about our future ever since the first time we declared our love and we had talked a lot more since the Daxamite invasion. Slowly but surely, we’ve been finishing the list of firsts that we’re going to have._

_Firsts that include our first fight about loading up the dishwasher and the laundry (you still honestly are terrible at folding clothes); the first time I successfully cooked a meal for you without starting the fire alarm; our first concert together; our first holiday._

_But there are still so much more firsts that we haven’t done like getting a dog or moving into a house (not our apartment) together. But most importantly, there’s a first that I truly want to tick it off our lists._

_Our first (and hopefully, only) wedding._

_I want to spend my entire life having firsts with you, Maggie Sawyer._

_I can’t imagine my life with somebody else. I want you for the rest of my life; through sickness and in health; through the good days and the bad days._

_I want you, forever._

_I’ll see you at home?_

_Love,_   
_Alex Danvers_

Maggie wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes. Her bottom lip trembles as she read the last part over and over again.

She checked the clock and realized her shift had ended ten minutes ago and Alex would have been home for a while now.

Maggie packed her stuff before pulling out the drawer of her desk, fingers clenching onto a small black velvet box that she had kept safely and away from prying eyes.

Alex wasn’t the only one that had plans for a proposal.

\---

A knock on her door broke her line of thoughts and Elena was grateful for it.

“Come in! It's not locked,”

The door opened with a slight creaking noise but whoever was on the other side made no move to enter the threshold. This got Elena to look up from her bed.

Natalie stood there awkwardly. Her smile was nervous and she seemed almost uncertain if she could come in. Elena blushed and cleared her throat at the unexpected visitor, gesturing her inside.

She stood up to greet the guest, motioning towards the chair by her bed, even as the awkward air thickens.

Elena gulped and realized she hadn’t worn any makeup nor had she bothered to dress up that day. What a great impression.

“I wasn’t really expecting anyone today so erm forgive my look,” Elena gestured towards her body.

“Nah, it’s cool,” Natalie waved her off.

Natalie seemed to have a lot of things on her mind and Elena can only conjure up so many reasons as to why she’s here. The silence thickens and Elena tried not to freak out.

okay, she tried not to freak out on the outside because on the inside she is definitely freaking. the. fuck. out.

because Natalie is here. In her dorm room. Never ever had she even done that. But she’s here. Clearly for her and this is stupid, she shouldn’t be freaking out but why the heck would she be here for?

“Erm, so you’re ignoring me and I’d like to know why?”

Her thoughts screeched to a stop and Elena froze. like deer-in-the-headlights froze. like the oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-shit! froze.

“me? Ignoring you? nah, why would I do that, I have no reason to do that, it’s not like-” Elena spluttered as she sat back down on her bed; her knees too jelly-like to keep her steady.

a hand on her wrist stopped her mid-ramble and Elena felt heat creeping up her neck. _Not the time. Not the time. Calm down. Calm down._

_why is everything so different now that she realized there’s a possibility that the zoo in the stomach is caused by this gorgeous, beautiful, amazing, smart girl in front of her?_

“Don’t lie to me. You ran away as soon as you saw me at the quad a week ago. And you’ve been making up excuses every time I tried to make plans with you. What’s up?” and even though Natalie tried to play it off as cool, Elena could hear the underlying hurt behind it.

The craziness in her mind and stomach seemed to settle down as she realized she may have hurt her friend and despite the fact that she had every reason to panic, she shouldn’t have handled it that way.

because Natalie was right. She did run. Literally. Like sprinted the fuck out of the east side of campus just because Natalie was approaching her.

just because her heart got stuck in her throat and her palms were sweating and she caught herself almost, _almost_ drooling. Just because Natalie looked incredibly good that day - a white oxford button down with the perfect denim jeans and killer boots. _Good was an understatement._

Elena remembered what she was thinking; she wouldn’t mind Natalie strolling up to her and kiss her senseless or put her arms around her shoulder or slip their hands together just to make the other onlookers jealous as fuck.

that the thought of Natalie doing just those things make her heart clench with want and desire for all those things to actually happen.

(She ran as fast as she could, as far away as she would, after that crossed her mind. She called Maggie three days later since that incident.)

“Was it because of the party?” Natalie asked as she sat down beside her on the bed.

Elena gulped and lowered her eyes. She doesn’t know what to say. Because yes, it started cause of the party. But no, it wasn’t because of Natalie or that dance that they had. But it sorta is about that.

“Did I make you uncomfortable? With the dance? I’m really sorry if I did,” Natalie apologized softly. Her voice sounding desperate for Elena to just speak _something_.

She squeezed the fingers around Elena’s wrist before pulling away and Elena immediately felt warmth leaving her. Her brain scrambled to form sentences and hope that whatever comes out of her mouth isn’t stupid.

“Don’t be. I had fun that night and I wasn’t uncomfortable,” Elena replied, mentally giving herself a high-five for not stumbling. Her own fingers automatically seek Natalie’s again without conscious thought.

Natalie smiled with relief, and Elena felt her whole body lit up at the sight.

“So what’s wrong?” the other girl prodded again. Natalie played with their intertwined fingers and Elena finds herself melting into that comfort.

(She gulped at the close proximity but something about it seems like a safe haven Elena wants to burrow herself into.)

Elena sighed. A part of her knows that she had to explain why she had been avoiding her friend but the other part simply wants to lie her way through this. How was she supposed to explain all the reason why she panicked and fled?

“I erm I’ve been realizing stuff. About me,”

“Okay... what kind of stuff?” Elena winced at the question but stopped herself from pulling away from Natalie’s touch.

“That erm that I may... okay this is harder than I thought. And really I’m not so sure about if it’s even true cause you to know maybe it’s just a passing thing like things are and all that,” Elena shivered, paused and took a deep breath.

She can trust Natalie.

She doesn’t know why it’s so easy to but she can. She can. She needs to.

“but the thing is, there are so many things that prove that maybe I am... you know-”

“Elena, what is it?” Natalie’s eyes were soft and open, her head tilted in a way that made Elena calmed down and panic at the same time.

“that I may... you know, I may hmm,” she let out a frustrated sigh.

“that maybe, I like

“Maybe I’m not who I think I am?”

Natalie frowned, unable to comprehend what Elena was trying to say without actually letting the words out. Elena felt the discomfort slowly rising inside her, clawing up her throat and trying to force the words deep down and away. Her eyes sting as she pushed through the emotions.

She has to say it.

She just doesn’t know how.

“Maybe I’m like you?” Elena whispered, eyes slowly lifting up to look at Natalie despite how scared she is.

She felt the moment Natalie tensed up, felt it in their hands that were touching; the slight froze of her fingers and Elena tried to keep her lunch in her stomach even though all she wants to do right now is to retch.

But the moment was gone as a pair of arms tackle her into a hug and caused her to fall back onto her bed. Elena let out an “oof” but it didn’t really matter as Natalie hugged tighter.

and god, it felt soft and warm and comfy.

and she would swear she didn’t melt. but she did. she did.

“I’m so proud of you,” Natalie said.

A few tears fell but she didn’t notice. Elena couldn’t find the words to say anything else so she wrapped her own arms around Natalie.

and she wished she could stay like that forever.

Elena breathed in and her senses were attacked by everything Natalie and the sudden urge to do something stupid like run her fingers through her hair or kiss her lips made Elena tensed up.

because she might... she might accept these feelings.

but she can’t, she won’t do anything about them.

Natalie pulled away almost as soon as she felt the girl beneath her tensing up. She pulled Elena back up until they were both seating side by side, knees and shoulders touching, hands intertwined.

and that gesture was enough to calm the fear and insecurities in her mind.

that maybe... maybe... she’ll be alright.

\---

When Maggie reached home, the apartment was dimly-lit and scented with her favorite candles. A trail of rose petals leads up to the dinner table which was already plated with lasagna and tiramisu. A soft clearing of her throat caught Maggie’s attention.

A soft smile appeared on her lips as her eyes landed on her girlfriend standing near the kitchen isle. She was wearing her dark green button up, a few buttons left open and simple black jeans. Maggie doesn’t feel under-dressed with her usual plaid shirt and jeans and she was grateful for that.

There are butterflies in her stomach as Alex approached her, eyes soft and vulnerable yet full of confidence.

Alex took her hand and gently led her over to the chair, pulling it out and pushing it back in once Maggie settled on it.

“Chivalrous,” Maggie commented playfully.

Alex’s eyes twinkled and the butterflies flew harder and faster.

“Alex...”

“Not yet. Dinner first,” Alex whispered, clearing her throat to mask her own trembling voice.

Maggie nodded her head and had to take in a few deep breaths to settle her nerves.

(She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous. It’s not like she doesn’t know what’s going on. So why the heck is she nervous?)

By the time they finished dinner and dessert, Maggie’s hands were trembling even more, but that didn’t compare to how shaky and nervous Alex looks to be. Maggie reached out for her girlfriend’s hands, slowly squeezing it in reassurance.

Alex stood up from her seat and knelt in front of Maggie. Her fingers fiddled with the box in her hand and even though Maggie knew what was coming she still found herself shock.

The agent pulled out the ring from the box and Maggie’s eyes teared up.

“I love you so much,” her voice wavered and the detective could barely keep a hold on her emotions now. Her hands clutched into a fist near her heart and Maggie could physically feel every single heartbeat and she wonders how she’s still alive right now.

“and I’ve been dying to give this to you. I had it made since our first anniversary in Tokyo. And I hope it’s everything you wanted... I- You mean everything to me,”

Tears escaped her eyes like a broken tap and Maggie tried to stop their tracks with the palm of her hands as she stared down at her lover and the diamond ring she was holding. She couldn’t find her voice nor move her body when all she wanted was to pull Alex up and kiss her senseless.

(She’s glad she’s sitting down but holy crap, her muscles feel all over the place.)

“I don’t want to miss an opportunity, I don’t want to miss another second without you by my side. So-” Alex gulped. She shifted her knees into a more comfortable position as she held Maggie’s hand into her own.

Maggie exhaled shakily. She’s pretty sure she’s a tad away from melting into the ground.

“Will you marry me?”

Maggie gasped and stared for a beat longer than necessary, her brain still trying to process what is actually happening. _This is really happening. Holy shit. Holy shit._

“N-now you gotta answer,” Alex joked although her voice was filled with hope and emotions that she can’t quite place.

Maggie snapped out of it, her voice sounding foreign and familiar to her own ears.

“yes. yes. yes. of course,” Maggie sobbed out, nodding her head vigorously.

Alex breathed out a sigh of relief as she shakily pushed the ring into the fourth finger of her left hand and more tears flowed out even as Maggie tried to keep her cool.

Once it’s done, Maggie found the strength to pull Alex up into a searing kiss, the force hard enough to cause Alex to stumble backward.

“I love you,” Maggie muttered repeatedly in between kisses, pulling her girlfriend - fiancee - into the bedroom without breaking their kiss.

“I want to show you how much I love you,” Maggie whispered in Alex’s ears, feeling her shudder as the detective’s hands ran up Alex’s back.

“May I?”

“Always,”

\---

Elena pulled Maggie’s hands towards her, squealing as she waves it around - not really sure how to control her surprise and elation even when she’s trying (and failing) to contain her squeal as Maggie showed her the ring on her finger. She was positively jumping up and down out of excitement but the grin on her face was no match to that of Maggie’s. Her dimples deepening as her younger sister spluttered out incoherent questions in bullet speed that Maggie can’t quite catch.

“Elena! Breathe!”

“I’m just so excited and happy for you!” the younger girl shrieked, tugging on Maggie’s hand to observe the engagement ring again.

Heat rose up up her cheeks as Maggie was overwhelmed with the giddy excitement. But Maggie let her sister fawned over her and the ring. It took Elena another couple of minutes before she gathered herself and pretended to be cool. Maggie raised her eyebrow at the faux calmness, trying to contain her own smile but failing to do so.

“okay okay, breathing now,” Elena made an exaggerated inhale and exhale motion before spluttering out weird noises that Maggie just couldn’t understand.

“you need to tell me everything!” She squealed again and Maggie winced at how loud she is. The detective pretended to dig her ears, shaking her head as if to get rid of water inside her ears. Elena grumbled before smacking Maggie’s arms.

“Come on. I’ll tell you over lunch,”

\---

The two Sawyers were caught up in their moment in the diner; two sisters sharing stories and enjoying one another’s company with nothing but laugh and happiness surrounding them. They were caught in their own bubble where nothing could evidently pop their perfect evening.

and to any wandering eyes, it looks like they were two sisters who grew up together, separated by their own goals and ambitions but gravitated back to each other in the end - two sisters catching up on lost time.

but only those who shared the secret knew the truth.

For the truth is, it’s been almost a year since they met for the very first time. Two sisters separated before the birth of the youngest’ - separated by their own flesh and blood.

but one thing still remained true: they had indeed gravitated to each other like two opposite poles of magnets and one might even believe that it was the universe that had pushed them to be together.

Started from the day Elena stumbled onto the picture(s) in her parent’s basement to the day she finally made it to National City and at last, the day they met and the following days after.

in a perfect life, or perhaps a perfect story, this would be the perfect time to end scene - with two sisters laughing and leaning towards each other over food and stories, bonding over mutual sorrows and new beginnings - a happy ending that makes on-lookers smile just from the happiness radiating off them.

but this is neither a perfect life nor a perfect story, and this moment is not perfect nor is it an ending.

a more accurate phrase that could describe the following events that inevitably happened after would be the phrase “things went south”

a phrase here that describes a situation leading to a steadily worsening situation without difficulty or challenge.

or to simply put,

things went very very, severely wrong.

in the case of the two sisters, the phrase “things went south” refers to the sudden interruption of the moment shared between the two sisters; a sudden pause and a sudden horrifying, nauseating, traumatizing surprise - the sudden and unexpected appearances of

Rosa and Theodore Sawyer.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to school starting soon and my timetable actually sucks since I have a 6 pm - 9pm class now :) my updates may not be weekly anymore? I haven't been writing enough and I apologize if there's a possible hiatus coming up. 
> 
> I will try my best to write as much as I can and hopefully, my ideas and creativity doesn't run out because I truly love this fic and this Elena & Maggie sisterhood that has just started. 
> 
> Leave comments and kudos if you like this chapter! I love reading them especially the feedback that you guys write!
> 
> ps hit me up on tumblr at the-girl-at-the-back.tumblr.com if you wanna


	12. but I scream too loud if I speak my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena’s face paled and Maggie couldn’t help but frown at that. She followed her sister’s line of sight, turning around in her seat.
> 
> her jaw dropped as she spotted them.
> 
> “Elena... is that-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late late update and i'm so sorry. have been really busy with school work (still am) so it's going to be more slow updates in the future. 
> 
> TW: Mentions of Homophobia and Physical Abuse

_Elena dropped the album photos on the dining table softly. She bit the inside of her left cheek as she waited for her mother’s attention. Her mother looked at her for a moment, eyebrows furrowing as she caught sight of the object._

_“who is the girl in the picture?” Elena asked bluntly before her mother could say anything. She doesn’t know where her sudden braveness came from but she’s sure as hell ain’t going to let it go._

_“Where did you get this?” Her mother replied instead - a hint of irritation evident in her voice._

_Elena resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing it won’t be good for her, especially when her mother seemed to be in a relatively understanding mood. “In the basement. I was looking for stuff about grandma and then, I found this,”_

_To her surprise, she didn’t receive a lecture from her mother about snooping around in unwanted places. Instead, all she got was a sigh and a gesture to sit on the chair._

_Her mother flipped the pages of the album. Eyes shining with a semblance of sadness and forlorn. Her fingers stroked the pictures of the unknown girl every once in a while._

_the girl that Elena realized looked similar to her - with the hair and the dimples and the smile._

_Then, all too suddenly, her mother snapped the book shut harshly, retracting her hand as her face was taken over entirely with something like disgust._

_“Get rid of this,” her mother hissed._

_“Mom, who’s the girl?” Elena pressed on instead._

_“Someone that ruined everything of our lives,”_

\---

Her heart sank like the fucking titanic as she registered who just entered the diner that she and Maggie were spending their afternoon in.

her heart sank and her stomach quenched and all Elena wants to do is to run.

she’s not sure if they saw her.

she’s pretty sure there’s no way out when they’re blocking the only damn entrance of the building.

Blood roared through her ears, oxygen leaving her brain and the room suddenly felt too cold. Elena feels like she forgot how to breathe as she remained motionless in her seat, staring at the two figures that had just entered the diner. Uneasiness settled in her stomach like sudden waves that are too large for her body to handle.

god, she’s gonna puke.

\---

Elena’s face paled and Maggie couldn’t help but frown at that. She followed her sister’s line of sight, turning around in her seat.

her jaw dropped as she spotted them.

“Elena... is that-”

“yeah, oh fuck. Hide,” Elena spluttered, looking around her to try and find ways to hide from them. Her face looks terrified and dreadful and Maggie had never understood the word ‘blanched’ until now.

Maggie tried to wreck her brain for anything - any comfort, any solution, any ideas on how to fucking get out of this situation.

but whatever thought that crossed her mind was too late when a booming voice addressed her younger sister.

“Elena?” were the first words that she heard coming out of her father’s tongue in 14 years.

and for a moment, Maggie was brought back to fourteen years ago. Bags are thrown out of the house, screaming and slamming, harsh words followed by dragging of her upper arm into the truck.

Maggie swallowed the fear from her throat, shaking herself out of the flashback.

(she ignores the hammering of her heart, the sweating of her palms. god, why is she still petrified when she’s a grown adult?)

Elena was visibly shaking like a leaf as she stood up to greet their father with a smile that looked more like a grimace, while Maggie was still shell-shocked by the turn of events.

“Oh honey, we just wanted to surprise you -” there’s a pause in the all-too-familiar voice and Maggie had to tilt her head away from whom it belonged to. Her own eyes teared up at the sound of her mother; heart clenching painfully.

Maggie felt all their eyes landed on her and she gulped even as she tries to muster the courage she didn’t realize had left her body.

“Weren’t you supposed to be on your trip?” Elena asked shakily, standing up from her seat to greet her parents properly. Her eyes keep falling onto her sister, internally praying that they don’t know.

but the condescending look on her mother’s face and the way her lips are pursed in that disdainful way, as she glared down towards Maggie made Elena’s blood run cold.

they know.

Elena shut her eyes in silent prayer as she reached for her wallet. Her fingers trembled as she placed a stack of bills on the table, next to her half-empty plate.

“Why don’t we move to my dorm? yea? Mom, dad?” Elena asked what little strength she had left. The tension thickens and waves of anger radiate from her parents. She watched as Maggie held the breath she was holding, her own face paled despite how emotionless she tried to look.

They’re going to kill her.

“Maybe we should,” her father replied, eyes drawn together in a mixture of confusion and disappointment.

Elena walked hesitantly out of the diner with her father trailing behind.

Maggie gulped, wiping her palms on her jeans.

But Rosa Sawyer took a step closer to the detective and Maggie’s face turned stone-cold hard. The older women leaned towards Maggie, just breathing down her neck for a few seconds before speaking,

“I know who you are and I don’t know how the hell you’ve met my daughter but you won’t be seeing her again - especially not with your -” she didn’t complete her sentence as her eyes trailed the detective’s body judgmentally.

Maggie’s jaw clenched and her fingers curled into fists.

“If I’d find out that you have poisoned her mind -” Maggie’s head snapped towards her, her body radiating fury and pent-up rage

“the only poison is your judgmental, conservative, and arrogant opinion, _Rosa_ ,” Maggie sneered.

Rosa stepped back, pursing her lips and shaking her head in displeasure.

“If you had realized the error of your ways, we would have welcomed you back into our home. We only did what we did to protect you,” was her final words before she stalked out of the diner, heels clicking across the granite floor.

Maggie’s body trembles with outrage.

The audacity of that woman.

Her eyes dart to the car they were leaving in, her mind registering the plate number as it drove off.

Her fingers dialed up Alex’s number.

She needs to fix this now.

\---

“What the hell were you thinking, Elena?” Her father yelled as soon as they entered the hotel room her parents were saying.

Elena flinched at the volume but kept her back facing her father.

“Answer your father, Elena,” her mother joined in. The younger girl shut her eyes in defeat.

Elena knew it was a losing battle. Nothing she’s going to say would make any of this right.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,”

“You can start off by telling me how the fuck did you meet _her_ ,”

Elena breathed deeply, eyes staring at the ceiling as her heart beats erratically fast. Her mouth was dry even as she tried to force out the words, “There was a crime scene, we crossed path and we started talking ever since-”

a sharp, strong hand slapped her across her face with a resounding thud. Elena’s mouth gaped open in shock as her head snapped to the side, her left cheek stinging painfully.

She willed the tears away.

“Do not lie to us!” Her mother chided. Elena gulped and tried not to focus on the stinging pain - heat spreading across her cheek and face.

(a few drops of tears fell anyway.)

Elena bit her bottom lip hard as she stood stiff and frigid. Head downcast and staring at the carpeted floor of the hotel room. Eyes zoning into the minor details of the carpet.

“Did you search for her even after we told you to let it go?” her mother’s voice dropped low and dangerously. Her index finger pointing accusingly towards the college girl. Elena’s body trembled at the tell-tale signs she knew all too well.

with dreaded anticipation Elena nodded her head, tasting blood in her mouth and crying out as another hand slapped her at the same spot as before.

tears were cascading down her cheeks rapidly, unable to reign in the pain and fear and everything in between.

“Why? Why didn’t you listen to us?” another slap, another hit. Elena’s legs were shaking too much to hold herself upright that she fell to her knees.

“I’m sorry,” the younger girl sobbed.

“We were protecting you! Why didn’t you listen!” another hit. and Elena’s body dropped to the ground from the strength of it.

Elena wailed as her body took one hit to another. She bit her tongue from making more sounds, hands clutching the back of her head from her mother’s on-going blows.

“I won’t lose another daughter!”

Elena held her breath for the next blow.

but it didn’t come.

She took her chance to peek to see what stopped her mother, only to catch her father holding her mother’s extended arm.

“That’s enough, Rosa. I think she learned her lesson,”

Elena remained quiet as her parents spoke in harsh whispers. Her mind retracting back into itself, zoning out from what’s happening around her, focusing on nothing but the pain, the pain, the pain.

_it hurts._

Her body ached and the areas of pain thumped in a rhythmic beat.

_she wants Maggie._

“We’re coming back later. You better be ready to tell us everything,”

 _She needs Maggie_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts on this chapter? 
> 
> please leave feedback. 
> 
> also it's my bday lel and i've been feeling a bit shitty because no one irl remembered. heh. so yea this is a cry for attention, i need some love?


	13. my natural reaction is that we're scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she’s not sure what she will do if she could turn back the time. she wouldn’t have wanted to change any of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the comments and wishes on my previous chapter! I'm so sorry I hadn't reply much due to how suddenly swamped I am with school work and work in general. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter!

Requesting an ice pack from the hotel’s reception felt a little awkward, and Elena could only hope they didn’t hear the tremble of her voice.

Once the initial pain had gone, Elena was left with an incredibly sore body and a heavily bruised cheek that she knew she won’t be able to hide with her foundation. She sighed as she sat on the bed, pressing the ice pack to her cheek, wincing at the jolts of pain from the swelling.

She didn’t think it could go wrong so fast.

and she knew she should have seen it coming. But she was too caught up with the good of it all to realize the consequence of her action. And there was no way she could turn back time and -

she’s not sure what she will do if she could turn back the time. she wouldn’t have wanted to change any of it.

it was good while it lasted. and she knew the times spent with Maggie - knowing her, trusting her, opening up to her - were the best moments of her life.

and to be fair, she deserved this. She had gone against her parent’s request for a selfish reason. Even when that decision is the best thing that she’ll ever make.

_“I told you to get rid of the pictures!” Her mother scolded as she dragged Elena back into the house._

_Elena stopped herself from rolling her eyes. It wasn’t her fault that the only person who would answer her questions was the librarian who’d been here long before Elena was born._

_“Why didn’t you tell me I had a sister?” Elena shouted, in the midst of her mother’s rant._

_“She’s not your sister! She’s not a god damn Sawyer!”_

_“How can you say that?” Elena asked exasperatedly, hands flying up in defeat._

_“Tell me, mom. Tell me what happened. How could you keep this from me?”_

_Her mother remained quiet. Elena’s shoulders sagged in defeat. She watched as her mom run upstairs to her room, slamming the door shut in the process._

Elena rubbed her face and shook herself out of the flashback. A knock on the door startled her and the sense of dread flooded her body at the thought of her parents on the other side.

Elena braced herself and waited for the door to open for her parents to walk into the room.

A few seconds past and the knocking continued.

Elena furrowed her brows as she staggered her way towards the door.

Who the fuck?

\---

As soon as the door opened, Maggie rushed forward to pull Elena into an embrace. She leaned back slightly to check on the bruise evident on her face and spotted a few on her arms. Maggie let out a shaky breath.

“What are you doing here?” Elena asked, disbelief in her voice as she stared wide-eyed at the woman in front of her.

“I promised to protect you. and I’m not letting you go through this alone,” Maggie whispered, tucking a stray hair behind her ears and softly caressing the bruise on her cheek.

It was then that Elena realized that Alex was there too, standing behind Maggie with a guarded look, eyes darting towards the elevator as if the stare alone can blow it all up in flames.

Elena’s heart stuttered at the gesture. Eyes tearing up at the length her sister went through to keep her promise. A shudder ran through her spine as the fear gnaws in the back of her mind.

“They hate you. They don’t want me to see you,” Elena sobbed, her emotions spilling out as she tried to hide her face in Maggie’s chest.

“We’ll figure it out, I promise,”

“No you won’t,” a sharp voice ruined the moment.

The dread filled her all over again and Elena forced herself to take a step back. She turned around, facing her parents, hands squeezing Maggie’s fingers tightly and slowly start to release them.

Maggie clutched her fingers tighter instead, pulling her close, pulling her back,

standing in between her and her parents.

Elena’s eyes widened.

Alex lay a supporting hand on her back and love surged in her chest as she stood in between two women who’d seemed to love her.

_love_.

“I won’t let you hurt her,” Maggie hissed. Her shoulders pulled back and her stance widened as if she’s preparing herself for a fight.

Another chill ran up her spine and Elena tried to suppress every emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. Maggie squeezed their intertwined fingers and Elena hold onto her strength, her support, her protection.

_she’s safe. she’s safe. she’s safe._

“Clearly, you have overstepped your boundaries,” her father sneered.

“She’s my family,” it sounded feral, sounded like a growl and animalistic. Elena felt both the women that were sandwiching her tense as they shifted minutely closer to the younger girl. Elena leaned back until her trembling body - god, she didn’t know she was trembling so much - touched Alex’s shoulder.

“You are _not_ family,”

Elena held her breath as Maggie and her father stood head to head, eyes boring deep into each other, their body sizing each other up.

Elena never thought Maggie could look that scary in her life.

She prayed to god that the gaze will never be directed towards her.

There was a moment of silence, thick and dense, suffocating and choking. Elena’s heart beat in her chest, loud in her ears and the world felt like it stilled as everyone waited for someone to break.

Elena hates this. Hates that she’s the cause of this.

She knew it’s only a small step away before someone starts swinging. Her breath is still stuck in her throat. and she can’t do anything but quiver behind Maggie.

“Elena, come here,” Her mother’s voice cut through the tension and straight to her heart.

Elena froze, had forgotten for a moment that she exists - that she’s part of this tension, not just a bystander- until her mother called her out and now her soul left her body and she doesn’t know what to do.

She knows a threat when she hears it.

She knows what’s going to happen if she did follow her mother’s request. She knows what’s going to happen if she _didn’t_.

But unlike those years ago, Elena now has Maggie. Her sister who she’d just met, her sister who she trusted with her heart, who she had never felt more comfortable with anyone ever. Maggie turned to face, and said, loud and clear, “You don’t have to. You have a choice. I’ll support you through whichever,”

and it’s so genuine, so sincere, so everything she needs to hear.

But Elena’s still so so torn apart. _What can she do?_

There are only two options - lose one or the other.

Lose her family, her parents, everything that had shaped her life since birth. All the memories growing up where her parents were there, were always a constant in her life; all the things that they gave her and had done for her.

and she wished it was easy. because maybe it was bad and maybe they didn’t have to treat her like a punching bag but it was good. She hated to admit it but her life had been good too because of them.

But the other option is to lose her sister, the first person that she trusts so fully and wholeheartedly, that shaped her better, that made her feel more comfortable in her own skin, that had made her opened up so easily. That made her be herself.

Someone she had been longing to find and she can’t. She can’t lose her sister.

_How can she choose?_

Elena took a step back. Tears streaking down her face like an open tap as she shook her head vigorously. Her chest coiled and wound up tighter and tighter as she tried to breathe.

“Please, don’t” she whimpered, sucking in air futilely. She lets go of Maggie’s hand and extracted herself away from Alex’s touch.

(she felt cold almost immediately.)

“Elena,” her mother warned.

She shook her head, hands clutching her chest as she hyperventilated for air. Her body convulsed as she took another step further.

“Please, don’t,”

and then she ran.

\---

Maggie stood in conflict as she watched her younger sister ran away - down the hallway and down the stairs. Her heart was set on following her but her mind wanted to give her so-called parents a piece of her mind.

All the words on the tip of her tongue threatened to come out in harsh venom. But she held back.

She had to hold back. for Elena’s sake.

She doesn’t care about her parents. Watching them appear in her life, Maggie would have thought she’d missed them, that a certain part of her would long for the moment they truly accepted her.

But standing in the hallway, with Alex - her fiancee, her family - in front of her parents, Maggie realized that all she needed doesn’t include the two people in front of her.

That she doesn’t need them or want them. That she’s contented not having them at all in her life. Because she had accepted who she is and she loves herself too much to give them the satisfaction of her own anger.

and maybe, there’s a part of her that wants to scream: how could you! how could you abandon your own flesh and blood when she needed you the most. how could you turn her world upside down and break her when she was just a kid! a kid! how did you live with that!

_how do you live knowing you abandoned someone who needs you the most?_

but at the same time, she doesn’t care about them anymore. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with them.

she just doesn’t care.

Maggie took a deep breath and leaned closer to her father.

“She’s my family. You don’t mess with my family,” Maggie threatened, before turning away from the two older Sawyers.

She has a family to be there for.

\---

Elena couldn’t get too far before her chest collapsed in on herself - or that was what it felt like. Her ribs seemed to be caving in as she gasped for air in an alley. An arm laid outstretched onto the brick wall beside her for support but her whole body seemed too weak to hold herself upright.

The college girl slid to the floor, with a hand grasping her chest and her body deprived of oxygen.

Her vision starts to get blurry and dark spots resembling blots of black paint splashed itself onto her eyes.

She feels dizzy.

feels like she’s stuck in fear and paranoia as if something’s chasing her but she knows there’s nothing.

nothing. nothing. nothing.

“Elena? Elena!” the girl registered a figure in front of her. but her mouth was too dry to reply.

“Hey, hey, I need you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?” the figure coaxed Elena into following her instructions.

“Can I touch you?” Elena nodded her head hesitantly until she felt a hand tugging her wrist upward and onto the figure’s chest.

“Can you feel my heartbeat?” another nod but this time in confusion. “Can you breathe in time to my heartbeat?”

Elena shut her eyes and tried to follow the pulse. A breath stuttered out as she tried to follow it, the steady beat a slow rhythm that kept her in line.

But it was too hard, too fast, too out of place.

“hey hey, breathe Elena. Breathe. I got you. You’re safe here, I won’t let anyone hurt you,” and it’s that familiar voice that made Elena’s mind settle down from its frenzy.

“Kara?”

“hi,” Elena’s eyes widened. This is the second time she met the reporter and to be honest, her frenzied mind was too shaken up to do anything but stare.

“how-?”

“Do you need me to call Maggie?” the sudden confusion of seeing Kara had made her forgot about her panic temporarily. But now that she mentioned her sister, Elena couldn’t help but feel the anxiety rising up inside her again.

“I- no, no, it’s fine,” Elena mumbled as she pushed herself up to stand. Her legs were shaky and every part of her body felt like it stopped functioning.

She’s physically drained but her mind is still running a mile a minute. She felt fingers holding her arm to steady her and Elena almost fell into Kara’s support. Her chest tightened and she still feels like there wasn’t enough air for her to breathe.

“Do you want... is it alright if I bring you back to their apartment? I can’t get a hold of them now,”

“no no it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I just need to-” Elena panted as her lungs squeezed again.

“Elena, please. Come on. My car’s parked nearby. We can stay at their’s until your sister arrives,”

“I don’t want to be a bother,” she exhaled out.

“You’re not. Elena, breathe with me, please,” Kara coaxed softly. Kara tugged Elena into her body, enveloping her in a hug until all Elena could focus on was her heartbeat.

It took minutes before Elena felt the weight lifting off her chest.

Kara pulled Elena’s right arm around her shoulder and the younger girl barely resist as she guides her to the car. The younger girl didn’t have the energy to hold herself upright, melting her entire body weight on Kara.

She only had one thought in mind as she felt herself floating in the car.

“You’re strong,” Elena mumbled as Kara dropped her off into the passenger’s seat.

“I work out,”

Elena’s way past the point of exhaustion to question it further as they drove off - a part of her glad to be far away from the hotel.

_Everything’s so wrong right now._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? 
> 
> Also, what's going to happen now between Elena and her parents? Who knows, i don't know. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please leave comments and feedback, they really help to reassure me that people still read this and actually like this fic. 
> 
>  
> 
> As usual, you can hit me up on my tumblr at the-girl-at-the-back.tumblr.com


	14. i never meant to start a fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to go home,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy angst ahead, proceed with caution.
> 
> ps. my terms are coming up i won't have time to write, so until then....

her hands were clutched tightly into a fist, resisting the urge to ram it into her thighs. her jaw ached from the constant clenching.

Alex’s fingers slid down her forearm before closing themselves around her fist.

her shoulders relaxed a little but Maggie was still too angry, too emotional to let the tension go.

_if she holds tight enough, maybe the tension can lash itself to her parents._

the car seemed to drive too slow; lights from the lamp post mocking her as they shined down on her face. Maggie seethed in her seat even as she assured herself that she’s calm.

she’s furiously calm.

Maggie had nearly sobbed in relief when Kara had called - 5 missed calls and 7 frantic messages - saying that she found Elena, and they’re back at the couple’s apartment.

The worry and anxiety of something happening to Elena, of not finding her as they searched and tore their way through as many areas as possible, dissipates and almost immediately replaced with the sudden need to be by her sister.

“Maggie, hey, we’re here,” Alex softly whispered as she parked the car. Maggie barely wastes any time in ripping the door open and climbing the stairs to her door.

the minute she entered the apartment, she barely registered how dark inside it is yet her eyes notice the lump of blankets on her couch.

Kara sat on the bottom of the couch, a safe distance from touching the young college girl.

“Elena,” Maggie breathed in relief, as she knelt beside the couch, hands hovering above Elena’s face - the only thing sticking out from the blanket.

Elena flinched involuntarily.

Maggie forced herself to keep her breath steady.

The anger towards her parents flared inside her, but it was dominated by the concern for her sister.

Her sister.

The college girl doesn’t seem to recognize her; her eyes hazy and staring at a certain spot on the ground. Her body remained eerily motionless and if it wasn’t for the slow rise of her chest, Maggie would’ve spiraled into even more panic.

“Elena, baby, it’s me. I got you,” Maggie whispered. Her fingers clutched the pillow above Elena’s head; needing to stay grounded and keep herself steady for the younger girl.

she noticed the girl shudder and Maggie shifted closer till her entire body pressed up onto the side of the couch.

“I got you. I promise. You’re safe. I got you,”

and they stayed like that in the dark and quiet apartment, the only sound they can hear is their heavy breaths.

Maggie laid her head on the cushion, staying a few good inches from Elena as she whispered the same phrases over and over again.

“I love you, I got you, I’m here. I love you so much,”

\---

  
“Maggie?” Elena voiced softly and timidly after what felt like hours of them sitting in silence in the dark apartment.

“I’m right here,” Maggie whispered. Hope lit her eyes as Elena shifted forward to the detective. Maggie raised her hand slowly, until it was hovering above the younger girl’s cheek, and waited.

Elena pressed her cheek into the hand, prompting the detective to caress her cheek before pushing her fingers into her hair, softly massaging her temples and Elena visibly relaxed.

“Maggie,” it was soft, almost-whimper like and it was enough to push Maggie to squeeze onto the couch, holding her sister close to her chest and wrapping her up in her arms.

“I love you. I got you. You’re safe. I love you so much,” Maggie repeated, pressing kisses on Elena’s faces as the younger girl clenched her fist into Maggie’s shirt.

“Don’t leave me,” her voice cracked, a sob rising in her throat even as she tried to hold herself together.

but her own body couldn’t contain the pain and the sob escaped her lips - broken and full of hurt that Maggie’s body flinched as the detective tightened the hold on her sister.

“I will never. I promise,”

\---

Alex pressed herself up to Kara, their shoulders touching as the stood by the kitchen counter with mugs in their hands. The older Danvers gave a quick glimpse towards her younger sister even as they watched Maggie and Elena from afar.

Kara turned to her sister when she felt Alex’s eyes on her.

“They’re going to be okay right?” Kara asked.

“They have each other. and us. I believe they will be,”

“Just like us?”

“Just like us,”

Kara laid her head on Alex’s shoulder as they both turned their attention to the Sawyers.

“love you, Al,”

“love you too Kara,”

there was a moment of silence and it lapsed on until Alex cleared her throat. The agent leans into her sister, carefully side-glancing Maggie and making sure that she wasn’t paying attention.

“I have a plan and I need your help,” Alex whispered. Kara nodded her head as Alex told her the plan that she’d been mulling over the entire night.

Because it had killed her to not snap at Rosa and Theodore Sawyer as they spit out harsh words one after the other towards her fiancee, as they forced Elena to choose between two families, as they continued to torment the people that they should’ve been raising with care and love and tenderness.

Alex hadn’t snapped then, knowing Maggie wouldn’t want her to; knowing the bullets she’ll be giving to the elder Sawyers if she uttered a single word to defend her girls.

Because they were manipulative like that.

Because she knew that there is a possibility that Elena might be running back to them, even if it kills her.

Because she knew family is complicated like that.

so she kept her mouth shut. but she didn’t stay silent; not with the way she knew how terrifying she could look with just a single stare and a single stance.

“I’m in,” Kara replied.

They stared at each other for a beat, before nodding their head and slipping out the apartment quietly and into the night.

\---

_“I don’t know how the two of you do it,” Alex said through gritted teeth as she stood in front of Rosa Sawyer._

_“I don’t know how you can still believe in your fucked up mind that you’re doing the right thing by hurting your children constantly, or by treating them like shit over and over again”_

_Alex took another step closer until their faces were mere inches from each other._

_“But I do know this. That they’re my family now. Both of them. and you might have given birth to them but you do not get to take credit for how smart and perfect and loving they turned out to be. Not after you kicked your own child when she needed you the most. Not after you only know how to abuse your other child just because you’re a coward,”_

_Alex noticed Kara floating by the window of the hallway from the corner of her eyes - the darkness of the sky hiding her figure from anyone who isn’t looking for her presence. Kara gave her a slight nod and Alex stared down Rosa Sawyer._

_“They’re my family and if you ever hurt any one of them ever again, I won’t hold myself back,”_

_Alex turned around, her body still fueled by anger and rage even as she walked away from the Sawyer._

_“and what do you think you can do?” Rosa asked curtly and sarcastically._

_Alex smirked. “Maybe you should check on your car,”_

_Rosa stared her down, her jaw gaping as the gears in her mind processed what she just said, “You’re going to pay for that,”_

_“I’m sure you’ll find that I hadn’t done anything,”_

_“My husband is a law enforcer, I’m sure-”_

_“Surprise bitch, so am I,”_

\---

Maggie woke as the sun rises with a kink in her neck and a hazy memory of what had happened the night before. She looked down into her arms and found her sister still sound asleep, contorted in a weird shape as they fit onto the couch.

Her eyes adjusted to the light in the room, blinking rapidly as she wonders why it’s so quiet in the apartment.

The front door opened with a creak and both the Danvers sisters stumbled in, hands filled with greasy paper bags. Maggie’s eyes narrowed at Alex, feeling something off as the agent padded around the room.

“Alex...” Maggie started, letting her voice dropped in what would be her interrogation voice.

She caught the agent freeze momentarily in front of the fridge and Maggie knew the Danvers Sisters had done something.

“Alex, what did you do?”

“What did _I_ do?” Alex’s faux innocence only cement the gut feeling Maggie had. and the fact that Kara is deliberately ignoring her eye contact also further add proof to her instinct.

Maggie raised an eyebrow and Alex returned the look. _Did you do what I think you did?_

Alex shrugged. _I don’t know what you think I did._

Maggie bit the inside of her cheek as her face turned stern and serious. _Alex_.

Alex rolled her eyes even as her lips curled into a small smirk. _okay yeah, maybe I did._

Maggie sighed even as she rolled her own eyes teasingly, “I don’t want to know what you actually did or say to Rosa and Theodore but I just hoped neither of you did anything stupid that might end you both in jail,”

and before Alex could reply with a smartass comment about technically being a fed and a secret agent, Kara whipped around with confusion written all over her face.

“oh my god. You guys are that couple” Kara spluttered, head turning back and forth between Alex and Maggie.

the couple only laughed, because yes, they’re _that couple._

 

\---

Elena jolted awake, eyes frantically searched her surrounding and her entire body screamed fear and panic. She reached for her phone on the coffee table, fingers daftly dying a number she’d memorized by heart.

“Elena? What are you doing?” Kara had asked, the first one noticing her.

Elena shushed her absentmindedly. Her hands were still shaking as she placed her phone to her ear.

The ringing stopped almost immediately as it started.

Elena’s eyes watered even as she redialed the number, only for the same thing to happen again.

“El?” Maggie asked this time, stepping forward towards the girl who was still sitting on the couch.

“Please tell me it was a dream. please, please tell me what happened yesterday wasn’t real. _Please_ ,” Elena sobbed as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh, sweetie,”

Maggie rushed forward, pulling the girl into her body as the tears flowed freely down her cheek.

“I’m so sorry,” Maggie whispered. Elena shook her head vigorously.

“It-it wasn’t yo-your fault. It was m-mine,” Elena stuttered between hiccups.

This time it was Maggie who shook her head, clutching the poor girl’s back as if her entire hug could hopefully fix all the broken pieces together that her parents had shattered.

“Maybe-maybe if I just talk to them properly, maybe, maybe they won’t be so angry right?” Elena asked desperately, tilting her head back slightly so that she could see Maggie’s eyes.

“They still love me right? They... they can’t h-hate me because of of-of this one thing right?”

and Maggie’s mouth opened but no words escaped her lips as she stared sympathetically at her sister. Her jaw moved as she tried to conjure up any words of reassurance but whatever came into her mind fell short. It felt too wrong to lie and say that everything would be okay because from what had transpired yesterday, nothing would be okay if her parents had any say it is. But Maggie couldn’t tell her the harsh truth.

and maybe, maybe, it’s different for Elena. Maybe her parents might listen and talk to the younger girl. Maybe they’re clear the air and they find a compromising solution. and maybe Elena can get the best of both worlds. Maybe...

but Maggie’s stomach clenched as the truth sat heavily on her chest.

“I don’t know,” Maggie admitted.

Elena shook her head, not accepting the answer as she pulled away from her older sister to make the phone call to her parents again.

“They love me. They love me. It’s going to be okay. It’s just one fight. It’s going to be okay,” Elena mumbled to herself.

Maggie watched with tears in her eyes as Elena Sawyer paced around the room with the phone to her ear, dialing and redialing her parent’s number and mumbling the same phrases over and over again. She sat there, frozen and numb, yet full of pity for the girl in front of her. Maggie pressed her lips together, feeling the tears threatened to fall as she remembered the exact same words she had muttered to herself when her father had dropped her off at her aunt’s place.

and Maggie wanted to stop the girl as she tried to call the number for the tenth time but she can’t bring herself to break the news.

“Elena-” Instead, it was Alex who stepped towards her, hand tugging on the wrist that was holding the phone even as Elena tried to push her away.

“They love me right? They said they love me, you can’t just un-love someone because of one small thing right?” and it’s the crack in her voice that made Maggie turned her head away, shutting her eyes tight to stop her body from wrecking into cries even as her body trembled from the force of emotions building inside her.

_“They love me. Maybe it’s just a weekend thing. Maybe Papa is going to bring me home once the weekend is over, right Aunt Laura?” a fourteen-year-old Maggie desperately asked her aunt as her fingers trembled while holding the landline._

_“Maggie, sweetheart, they... they left you-”_

_“No! You’re wrong! They love me! They won’t abandon me! They can’t-can’t do that!” Maggie screamed, fingers harshly pushing the numbers on the phone for the umpteenth time._

_“Maggie, they’re not going to answer. I’m so sorry,”_

_“No... They love me. They told me they love me last night. Please, Aunt Laura... Help me call them. Please, ask them to bring me back. I want to go home,”_

_“I want to go home,”_

“Alex, please, let me call them,” Elena begged as Alex pulled the phone away from her hand.

Alex shook her head sadly, holding both of Elena’s hands with her own before pulling them towards her and pressing a kiss on her fingers.

“I’m sorry, love. Maybe they’ll call back later. But- we’re not sure of that. What I’m sure is that we’re here for you. We love you so so much,”

Elena’s shoulders sagged at Alex’s words; the truth of the event washing over her like tidal waves ready to pull her into the deep ocean. She bit her bottom lip as she felt every piece of her broken heart shattering to the floor. 

She eyed the ground, praying that the floor would open up and swallow her whole or for something to drown her and stopped the breath she was holding. She doesn’t mind drowning in something other than her own pain right now.

because it hurts.

it hurts too much. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so..... what do you guys think? 
> 
> (please tell me you guys are okay after this angst, i don't know what possessed me to write this)
> 
> Do leave comments! I really want to know your thoughts on this chapter! (I kinda like this chapter)


	15. let me be part of the narrative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you have a flashback?” Alex asked cautiously and sincerely - no hint of anger or judgment in her voice.
> 
> Maggie hesitated and it was all the answer Alex needed.
> 
> “Do you want to talk about it?” she pushed softly, knowing that Maggie’s past is still too sensitive till this day. And it doesn’t help with the fact that the first time that Maggie saw her parents since a decade is an unfortunate circumstance like this.
> 
> Alex would bet that Maggie had fantasies on re-connecting with her parents. But what was happening was reality jarringly breaking all the hope and wishes that the detective had. Alex understood how traumatizing and terrifying that would be.

Alex crawled under the covers of the bed; slowly inching her way towards her fiancee who seemed to be in a faraway place, rightfully so. The agent dropped herself beside Maggie, fingers trailing up and down her spine and coaxing the detective to relax into her embrace. It took a while before Maggie’s back slumped into her front and Alex snaked her right arm around her waist.

“Are you okay?” Alex whispered in her ear as she felt Maggie shuddered.

Maggie didn’t reply as she tried to bury herself closer to Alex’s body. Alex waited it out, knowing her love would share what’s on her mind when she’s particularly this quiet. The comfortable silence settled between the two of them, the only sound filtering through the room was the ambiance of the city below them and their synced breaths.

Maggie stirred and turned to face Alex, her hand reached up to touch Alex’s cheek; thumbs circling round as her eyes bore into her soul. Alex gulped. Her own fingers reached up to push a stray hair behind Maggie’s ears.

“I love you,” Alex whispered.

Maggie’s cheek flushed red and her lips curled into a smile with dimples showing. Alex frowned at the sad dimples. She poked it lightly before placing a soft kiss there.

“What’s on your mind love?” Maggie’s eyes widened in shock before her face melted into pure admiration for the woman in front of her.

“You always know when something’s bothering me,” Alex smiled before shifting herself closer to Maggie. Another look, another wall broken down. Maggie’s body released its tension as Alex started playing with her hair and scratching slightly on her scalp.

“What happened to Elena... It happened to me too,” Maggie started, her voice small and almost like a whisper.

She waited for Alex to judge, for the comment on how it’s the past and that letting it bother her now when her sister needs her is selfish and cruel. She waited for her face to change but all Alex did was nod her head in encouragement and squeezing her softly for her to continue.

but Maggie’s words seemed stuck in her throat. Her mouth opened and closed but she couldn’t find it in her to voice out the plaque in her mind. Alex seemed to understand and she intertwined their legs together, hoping it would keep Maggie tethered to Earth right now.

“Did you have a flashback?” Alex asked cautiously and sincerely - no hint of anger or judgment in her voice.

Maggie hesitated and it was all the answer Alex needed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she pushed softly, knowing that Maggie’s past is still too sensitive till this day. And it doesn’t help with the fact that the first time that Maggie saw her parents since a decade is an unfortunate circumstance like this.

Alex would bet that Maggie had fantasies on re-connecting with her parents. But what was happening was reality jarringly breaking all the hope and wishes that the detective had. Alex understood how traumatizing and terrifying that would be.

When Maggie didn’t reply, Alex knew she had to push this time.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this again. I’m sorry that your parents are shitty and don’t see how perfect and beautiful you are. But Maggie. I love you so much and you are the most perfect and most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and I love you. You don’t have to go through this alone,” Alex paused, took a deep breath as she played with the ring on Maggie’s finger.

“When I asked you to marry me, that means that I want to be in your life forever, through the good and bad, through the best and the worse. and I promise you that I will protect you forever if you’d allow me to and I will fight your battles with you by your side and if you don’t want me to do that, I will stand by your side and cheer for you. I love you so much. You’re my family and I will protect you. I won’t let you go through this alone,”

Alex stopped talking, breathing in deep as she pressed her forehead with Maggie’s. With their bodies intertwined, Alex could feel the exact moment Maggie broke - the tremble in her shoulders and the breath she held on too long before everything spilled over.

Her sobs filled the air, and Alex's heart wrenched painfully at watching the woman she loves fall apart. Alex pulled her closer and placed her head on her chest and hoped that her steady heartbeat is enough to calm the woman down.

If only she had the ability to take away Maggie’s pain...

“I called them. The minute I entered my aunt’s house, I called them. and I did it over and over again for three days straight because I -” Maggie’s voice cracked and Alex held on to her tighter.

“I can’t be enough for her. I can’t,” Maggie sobbed. Alex’s eyebrows furrowed at the sudden change of topic - not following her fiancee as she repeated the same sentences over and over again.

“Maggie, baby, love. Hey hey, look at me. Please, look at me,” Alex coaxed as Maggie’s breaths stuttered.

She placed a finger under her chin, gently lifting it up so that their eyes would meet.

“You are enough. You are more than enough. I promise you,”

Maggie shook her head, trying to look away but Alex stopped her. The detective’s eyes watered again as tears streamed down her face.

“You are more than enough, Maggie Sawyer. and I will never lie about that,”

“But I can’t give her the family that she wants - I can’t give her our parents. I can’t make it all okay,”

“No, you can’t. But what you can? is giving her a family that will love her unconditionally. and you’re already doing that. Family is about showing up and you’re doing it,”

Maggie looked at her doubtfully and Alex repeated the same words over and over again until she was convinced, even if it’s just a little bit. Maggie buried herself in the crook of Alex’s neck; the tears flowing quietly and steadily. She doesn’t force herself to stop - allowing herself to just feel the pain and know that Alex would catch her.

that she’ll pick up the pieces tomorrow, with Alex by her side. And she’ll pick up the pieces of her sister’s tomorrow.

Because that’s what family is for.

and that should be enough.

\---

_Maggie ran down the stairs of the unfamiliar house. The creaking noises as she flew down the steps still gave her chills but she chose to ignore it today. It’s been two days since her father had left her here, and now that it’s Monday, she’s sure he’ll be outside ready to pick her up for school._

_Because they can’t leave her here. Her school is all the way on the opposite end of town and Aunt Laura’s place is way too far from home. They should be picking her up now if she’d to reach school on time._

_and maybe... maybe she’ll get to ask them why the sudden trip to her aunt._

_Maggie took a deep breath as she opened the front door, bracing for the moment. She didn’t dare open her eyes, waiting in suspense because she’s sure it’s going to be worth the wait. It has to be._

_In her head, her father would greet her with his gruff smile, but a smile nonetheless. In her head, he’d swoop her up and start peppering kisses on her cheek and say that he missed his baby girl._

_but as she waited for his voice, for his presence, her heartbreak as she realized it’s not coming. Maggie slowly opened her eyes, taking in the empty driveway and the unfamiliar view of the houses in front of her._

_“Maggie-” Aunt Laura spoke, causing Maggie to jump in surprise. But that moment was destroyed by the anger and the overwhelming sadness drowning her entire being._

_This shouldn’t be happening. Why is this happening?!_

_A hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her thoughts and Maggie retaliated back without thinking._

_“Don’t touch me! Don’t come near me!” Maggie shouted, backing away from her aunt as the emotions grew and grew and grew._

_Aunt Laura retracted her hand as if she’s been burned. Maggie refused to look at her in the eyes as she starts stomping away from the house._

_“I hate this! I hate you! I’m going home!”_

_“Maggie, wait,” her aunt followed her outside but Maggie broke into a run._

_She picked up the discarded bike on the ground of the porch step and hopped on it. Her aunt’s pleading for her to stay remained unheard as she cycled away from the house and away from the street and just away, away, away._

\---

“I never heard from them since that day. They just... they just disappeared and for years I thought there was something wrong with me, you know,” Maggie’s voice was strained as she told the bits and pieces she had kept from Alex for years.

and to know that Alex was still here, rubbing her back soothingly instead of dismissing her pain and her trauma, was the reason that she pushed herself to let it out.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s definitely something wrong with them,” Alex reminded her softly.

and Maggie was starting to believe her, slowly but surely.

“I’m grateful that Aunt Laura was patient with me. That she loves me to raise me like her own, to be the parental figure that I had lost. But it took me awhile to open up to her and to fully accept her,”

“and that isn’t your fault. I can’t imagine the pain and everything that you went through. But I’m so grateful that you’re still here, right now, and with me, out of everyone else,” Alex replied, a crinkle between her eyebrows as she scrunched up her nose.

Maggie chuckled at the cute expression, planting a soft kiss on Alex’s nose. Another laugh escaped her lips as Alex’s cheeks blushed a deep red.

“I love you, Alex Danvers. I’m the luckiest girl to have you,”

“We’re both lucky to have each other,”

They stayed quiet in their bed, the early morning rays shine softly on their bed-sheets, producing a calm morning after a hectic night. Maggie placed her head on Alex’s chest and Alex slung her arm over her shoulder.

“How do you feel, now?” Alex asked as her fingers stroke the skin of her shoulder exposed from the drop of her sleeve.

“I feel... lighter?”

Alex hummed, gesturing Maggie to elaborate.

“It’s like... I feel like I’ve fully accepted that I’m not bound to them anymore. and I’m happy that I’m not. I feel like I can fully move on now,” Maggie explained.

and it was true. Because in the midst of sharing her past with Alex, something shifted in place for her. a puzzle piece finally fitting in perfectly in her heart that made her feel... peaceful. and she doesn’t know how or what or why, but the world doesn’t seem so dark as it was last night - as it was during her younger days.

that the sun had finally broken through the heavy dark clouds and she can finally bask in the warm rays she’d been missing all her life.

“Does Aunt Laura know about Elena?” Alex asked, breaking the silence.

Maggie nodded her head as she melts deeper into Alex’s body. The warmth and the comfortable position she was in is quickly pulling her mind back to sleep.

“Yeah, I told her during our weekend call last week. We talked about it a lot but I guess... I don’t know if I should tell her about this?” Alex stared at her for a bit, with her wide eyes and knowing smile. Maggie’s resolve crumbles easily.

“Okay, maybe I do want to tell her... and probably ask her on how to handle this,” Maggie muttered.

Maggie laid there with questions in her mind. There are so many things she’s not sure on how to help Elena. The girl had resigned herself last night, not talking to anyone once her phone was taken away. She shuts down and shuts out, going to bed early with a heavy heart. Maggie knew there was nothing she could do for the girl last night other than to give her space. She knew that retiring to her own bed was a good option, considering how she was out of it too.

Just as she was about to plan on what to do - on how to help her sister, Kara burst into the room, frazzled-looking and panicking.

“Elena’s gone,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave comments on what you think of this chapter! I love reading them!
> 
> Thank you for reading and your continuous support. I'm still a little busy and I'm definitely procrastination on studying for my terms cause of this. heh. whatever.


	16. and it makes us brave again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She only made one mistake... Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

“What are you doing here?”

Elena gulped as she stood in front of her parent’s hotel room. Her courage, that had influenced her to knock on the door, left her soul as soon as the door opened. Her father stood firmly at the threshold, staring down at her and making her tremble a little more.

Elena glimpsed past his shoulder, catching her mother rustling around the room with two suitcases packed and ready to leave.

The younger girl took a deep breath and tried to calm her body.

“Can we talk, please?” her voice was smaller than she had hoped. Elena stared down at her feet, wringing her hands behind her back as she waited for her father’s response.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” her father grunted.

Elena steeled herself, straightening up and making sure her chin is kept high. She steadied her stuttering breaths and yield herself not to meltdown in front of her parents.

“I can explain, please,” she tried, her voice a little too high-pitched and too desperate for her liking but she pushed on.

“Go on, then,” her mother prompted curtly, standing beside her father and glaring at the younger girl.

Elena gulped another time.

(She blinked away the tears in her eyes even though all she wants to do is run away right now.)

“I- I was curious. and I couldn’t help it. When I got accepted to NCU, I just thought... maybe, there was a chance I could meet her,” Elena started.

A tense silence followed along and Elena felt dizzy standing at the same spot. There were black spots in her vision and Elena had to keep reminding herself to breathe. She closed her eyes and counted her breathing in her head.

_Don’t let the panic win._

“You lied to us,” was her father’s reply.

A shaky breath, and then, “What would I have achieved if I had told you the truth?”

and then, before she can stop herself

“I wouldn’t be able to break down your ego,”

“Elena!” Her mother raised her voice and Elena bit her bottom lip. Her arms crossed across her stomach and she gripped her shirt in her fists tightly to mask the tremble in them.

“What else if it is not your ego?” Elena continued, finding herself unable to stop; “So much so that it separates a sister from her sibling, that it throws parents away from their daughter?”

Both her parents straightened up and their eyes flashed with something akin to anger; something akin to hatred. Elena gulped and subconsciously took a small step back.

“She is not our daughter! I do not believe that she is my daughter!”

She stared at the ceiling for a moment. Her dizziness increase at each second passing by but besides the anxiety, Elena could feel her frustration building as her mother remained quiet.

Because how is this fair? How is this fair to any of them? How can her parents let hate manifest inside them so much till they reject their own daughter?

How is that justifiable?

“She ruined us. She embarrassed us and our family name. Has she fulfilled the duties of a daughter? She did not,”

and the way her mother sneered at the thought of Maggie caused shivers to run up her spine. For a brief moment, Elena wondered if that’s how they’re going to treat her. But now, anger predominates her emotions as she faced the narrow-mindedness and selfish thinking of her parents.

“But she did. She always did. She only made one mistake... Love,” Elena’s voice cracked as she takes another breath.

Her jaw trembled and her throat feels locked. Elena ran her fingers through her hair, tugging it back a little as she tried to keep her calm and control. Panic and anger seized in her heart and that is a deadly combination, yet she can’t stop her words.

“If love is a crime in your law, then so be it. But isn’t it your duty as a parent to forgive her for her mistake? But you came down to punish her. What kind of punishment is that?”

Her father opened his mouth, only to close it back again as her words hurled into their direction. Her parents seemed lost for words and Elena doesn’t know what’s worse - the silent resentment she can feel radiating towards her as she stands up for her sister or their shallowness. But she can see their hesitance - can see the way her words are making them think.

and she has a tiny bit of hope that she’ll get through to them.

they shook their heads and scoffed.

“We did what was right,”

Elena’s mind spun like a whirlwind. How could they not see how wrong that is? How wrong are they? How unjustifiable is this punishment?

With newfound determination, fueled by exasperation, Elena steps forward and stared into her father’s eyes. Because she knows he missed Maggie, knows he still loves her, knows that he, too, was pained by everything.

and she just needs to get through to him and maybe...

“Say it. Say you don’t feel the pain of parting with her, that you don’t remember her. Say that you don’t love her. Say it, Dad. Say it,”

Theodore raised his chest and looked down at Elena - and Elena could see it in his eyes, could see the love and pain that they mask. It was a beat of silence before the words left his mouth.

“I don’t love her. I don’t love her. There I said it,”

Elena’s face fell and paled. She could feel her heart tearing in two as she stared desperately at her father to just be honest with himself. Theodore turned away, stalking back into the room.

Elena’s jaw clenched as her mind fails to accept those words. Her teeth grind against each other but she shook her head disappointingly as she stares at the floor.

The anger and irritation turned to fury. Elena knew that the words forming in her mind would make things worse. But she’s too stubborn to back down.

“God has blessed you with many things,” a pause, a scoff, and then, “I just wished he had given you a heart,”

and the slap to her face was expected that Elena wasn’t even surprised as she cupped her stinging cheek.

Elena stared at her mom, smirking a little even though her face was rapidly turning red and the tears in her eyes are welling up.

“Watch what you say,” Her mother hissed but Elena shook her head and grinning in disbelief. Her mother’s face said it all and it gave Elena the confirmation she needed.

“You love her. You love her a lot. I got my answer,”

Her mother stayed silent, almost in shock as Elena’s words cut through to her. Rosa’s hand curled around the other wrist as her mouth gaped open in both confusion and the failed denial. Rosa vehemently shook her head, rejecting Elena’s words but Elena knew that her words are true.

“You love her and it fucking kills you,”

Elena stepped back again, the triumphant smile pulling on her lips even when there are still tears in her eyes.

Her mother scrambled to fixed her ego back together.

“You’re either part of this family or you’re not. And she’s not,” but Elena was more than satisfied with the way her mother’s voice trembled.

Silence washed over them but Elena could only frown in disbelief even with the smirk planted on her face.

this isn’t fair. but her parents are wrong. and she’s not naive or stupid.

“I guess I’m not,” Elena’s voice was firm, even as it wavered as she said it.

Her mother slammed the door to her face without another word. It echoed down the hallway, echoed in her ear, echoed in her mind as the tears cascaded down her cheeks like an open tap.

How could they be so cruel?

_If they could abandon one, what’s stopping them from abandoning another?_

fuck.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and kept her head held high as she left the hotel. She had half a mind to go back to Maggie’s but she knows Maggie would be disappointed in the words that she had said to her parents.

Sure it was the truth, but Elena was the one who catalyzed their anger with her own words, was the one who potentially ruined her relationship with her parents totally.

But Elena had felt nothing but satisfied at her own retaliation.

She headed back to her dorm instead.

\---

To Maggie:  
I’m safe. In my dorm.

To Maggie:  
I want to be alone. Sorry.

\---

From Maggie:  
I love you. I’m sorry. Stay safe, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? 
> 
> Is it harsh? Is it emotional? What's going to happen between Elena's relationship with her parents? Will Maggie know what Elena had said? 
> 
> Comment what you guys think!
> 
> p.s i don't have a fixed schedule but if I write early, I usually would update on Sundays but right now it's not fixed so... till the next one!


	17. i've moved further than i thought i could

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intermission - also we're almost reaching the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a long wait and i know it's quite short and I'm sorry about it but I've been so busy with school work and projects with deadlines coming soon so I really got zero time to write.

**Month 1**

Elena dropped her bag onto the table, rolling her eyes at the piles of boxes taking up space at the corner of her room. She huffed as she navigated her small dorm room before jumping onto her bed.

It’s been a crazy month.

_The sudden delivery of all her belongings in front of her doorstep._

_Canceling her flight back to Nebraska that she had booked two months prior._

_Throwing away some old belongings that she can’t afford to keep due to the lack of space._

_Ignoring Maggie._

There was a knock on her door and Elena groaned internally at the disruption. She had just about to start on her assignments which she had been putting off for way too long. Her head pounded and Elena tried to ignore it.

If she were just to start on one assignment...

The knock continued.

“Who is it?”

Elena rolled her eyes when she didn’t get an answer before forcing herself to open the door, Grumbling softly under her breath, Elena had half a mind to scold her friends for disturbing her after she had deliberately told them not to.

Her internal rant stopped short as she spotted Maggie standing in front of her, frowning and biting her bottom lip. Elena’s mouth gaped open as Maggie’s unexpected appearance short-circuited her brain.

“uh hi?” Maggie pushed herself into the room but Elena stood still at the door, dumbfounded.

“You’ve been ignoring me for a month and I’ve given you the space you need so now-” Maggie stopped halfway as she spotted the unopened boxes.

Maggie’s jaw clenched and her fist tightened.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice was soft compared to the anger inside her but Elena wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of it right now.

Elena rolled her eyes again before resuming her position on the bed. She pulled her laptop towards her and promptly ignored Maggie’s presence in the middle of her room.

“Elena... you can’t keep hiding away from me,”

Elena couldn’t help but mumble, “watch me” under her breath.

She could feel Maggie rolling her eyes before her bed dipped as Maggie sat beside her. The detective nudged the younger girl with her shoulder and while she expects the younger girl to ignore her, she didn’t expect Elena to reply with her pillow straight to Maggie’s face without any warning.

“What the fuck,” Maggie exclaimed after a moment of recovery, still shocked at the sudden throw pillow.

Elena couldn’t contain the giggles suddenly bubbling up inside her, escaping her lips even as she tried to press them together. It was to no avail when she heard Maggie scoffed indignantly.

Suddenly, there were fingers pressing up her side and the giggles burst out into laughter. Elena tried to smack away the hands tickling her as she squirmed away from Maggie.

“Stop stop!” Elena finally yielded. There were tears in her eyes as she gasped for breath when Maggie finally let go of her.

There was a moment of silence as the girls tried to reign in their mirth and laughter. But still, their eyes were twinkling when the comfortable silence starts to settle down. Elena leaned her head on her sister’s shoulder.

“I love you. I’m right here for you,” Maggie whispered into her ears.

and it was then, after a month of the shit storm in her life, that Elena Sawyer finally broke.

\---

**Month 3**

Maggie opened the door to her apartment absentmindedly while going through the stack of mails they received that day. She hummed a single tune as she placed down her helmet and keys to the table by the side of the door, oblivious to the commotion in the kitchen.

The smell of lasagna finally hit her when she untied her boots and for a moment, Maggie panicked.

_Did Alex cook again??_

Maggie hurriedly dropped the mails onto the table as she rushed over to the kitchen. Oh god, please don’t let Alex burn something today. They have yet to replace their old smoke alarm.

Her feet skidded to a stop when she was greeted by a sight totally different than what she had imagined.

Alex, Kara and Elena sporting matching aprons as they giggled over something by the stove. Alex dipped a spoon into the pot and swatting Kara’s fingers away as she let Elena have the first taste of whatever they were making.

Maggie’s eyes averted to the oven, where the lasagna was baking, and based on the beautiful aroma wafting through the air, she knew that there might be a chance that whatever they were cooking hadn’t been a disaster after all.

She couldn’t help but grin at the sight of it all. Couldn’t help the feeling of warmth all inside of her as she watched her family.

_her family._

and it was at this moment, Maggie felt herself getting sucked into how surreal it was. How perfectly perfect her life had turned out to be. How she had everything she had ever wanted and dreamed of right here and right now.

Gosh, she’s so lucky.

“uh, Alex? I think your fiancee is broken,” Kara commented offhandedly as she noticed Maggie standing rooted at the same spot for a while now.

Alex turned around swiftly, nearly dropping the spoon in her hand in her excitement to greet her soon to be wife.

Both Elena and Kara snickered as Alex mindlessly passed the spoon to the nearest hand (Elena’s) and giddily approached Maggie.

“Hey beautiful, what’s gotten you so happy?”

Maggie seemed to snap out of her trance when Alex kissed both the dimples on her cheek before intertwining their fingers together.

Maggie’s eyes were soft and full of love and happiness when she replied to Alex’s question.

“Nothing. I’m just one lucky woman,”

Alex tilted her head in confusion but it did not wipe off the happiness radiating off her.

It must’ve been a good day, huh.

“Well, come join us. We made lasagna and mushroom soup,” Alex said as she pulled Maggie into the kitchen.

The detective slid an arm around Elena’s shoulder and gave her a chaste kiss to the forehead, before turning to press a kiss to Kara’s cheek.

“I love all of you,”

and while both Alex and Kara replied with their own sentiments of love, Maggie was not expecting Elena’s response.

“Ew, that’s gay,”

Maggie couldn’t stop herself from shoving Elena’s head playfully and messing up her hair.

Elena’s squeal made it all worth it.

\---

**Month 6**

Natalie flipped through another page of her textbook, pushing up her black-rimmed glasses and scribbling down the notes on another paper. Her hair was pulled up in a bun with a few messy strands framing her face.

Elena gulped as she forced her eyes away from the girl in front of her. She forced down a sip of her tea and tried to focus on her own materials.

A part of her wants to push the hair behind Natalie’s ear, wants to kiss the crease between her brows to make the frown go away. Her fingers twitch as the urge to intertwine them with Natalie’s free hand started to overwhelm her.

Maggie’s words echoed in her head.

_Life’s too short and we should kiss the girls we want to kiss._

And maybe Elena had joked about how that statement belonged on t-shirts or banners or motivational pictures all over Pinterest. But the words had struck a chord in her heart. and Maggie was right.

_Life’s too short._

(A small asshole part of her brain snickered something along the lines of “so is Maggie” but luckily, she stopped herself from saying that out loud.)

_and we should kiss the girls we want to kiss._

And Elena really just want to kiss the girl in front of her.

but she can’t.

... not yet.

it’s still too fresh, too early, too scary

(still too traumatized)

Natalie looked up with a frown and a pout, adorably glaring at her and it took Elena a moment to realize that she was staring for far too long.

“Is there something on my face?” Natalie asked for the third time.

Heat rose up Elena’s cheek in embarrassment at having caught staring at her friend (best friend? just friend? friend-turned-into-a-crush-but-she-can’t-really-say-that-can-she-friend?)

Elena cleared her throat, mumbling something under her breath. Natalie’s eyes narrowed as she leaned in closer and strained her ears to figure out what the other girl was saying.

“I’m sorry, what-”

“You’re beautiful,” Elena blurted out.

Both their eyes widened and this time, Natalie’s cheek start blushing, turning into an obvious deep shade of red. She spluttered as she tried to figure out what to say, fingers fiddling with her glasses and she squirmed when she noticed Elena still looking at her like that.

“y-you too,” Natalie replied, suddenly a little shy at the attention she’s receiving.

Elena smiled softly. clutching the pen in her right hand tighter as she leaned in closer to Natalie.

Natalie held her breath.

and there was a moment.

a moment where eyes flickered to lips and back to the eyes again. a moment where they’re inches away from each other. a moment where it’s so intoxicating that it left both girls breathless.

Elena twirled a strand of hair around her finger, paused, and tuck it behind her ear.

Natalie could feel the blood rushing through her face from the lack of oxygen. She shut her eyes and reminded herself to breathe in through her nose but all that does overwhelm her senses with everything Elena.

and she was close. so so close.

but nothing.

Elena pulled away almost so suddenly and it took Natalie a second to pretend like her heart hadn’t sunk.

_Someday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated and please tell me what you guys want to see between Maggie and Elena's relationship (like do you guys have any particular scenes yall want me to write? or fluff? or angst?) 
> 
> Again, sorry for the long wait and next chapter won't be up soon since I'm rushing through a shit tons of projects (why one shouldn't take too many extra credit units but yay for overachiever me) and my deadlines are creeping up on me. 
> 
> hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading!


	18. It’s not about mistakes you made or failures that you had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena's lips broke out into an uncontrollable smile and no matter how hard she tried to wipe it off, she couldn’t. Elena cleared her throat to keep her cool, her hands clumsily retrieving the controller on the table, and it slipped through her fingers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I finally finished my first sem after all the blood, sweats and tears. I nearly died. But I survived :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy this fluff chapter!

  
“She shoots and she scores!” Elena whoop, hands pumping in the air and she nearly dropped her controller.

Alex rolled her eyes and shove Elena’s head playfully.

“You’re just lucky,” Alex muttered, eyes focusing back onto the tv screen as the game started again.

Elena scoffed and nudge Alex’s shoulder playfully. The older Danvers was concentrating hard on the game that they were playing. They had been at it since the morning, in which Alex had a day off and Elena was technically bored from studying in her dorm. The younger Sawyer had shown up, with her own PS4 games in her hands that she found in one of the boxes from her parents.

They were enjoying each other's company and making small talks here and there.

“So how’s the wedding planning going?” Elena asked as Alex’s player dribble the ball down the court.

A hard press on the button, followed by sudden spamming of the buttons on the controller. Alex cursed as she missed the shot again.

“It’s going somewhere,”

A groan and a soft smack to the controller as Elena’s defense wasn’t enough to hold Alex’s players away from the hoop.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Alex sank in another goal; her points catching up to Elena’s quicker than what the younger girl would have liked. Elena bit her bottom lip and carefully bump her elbow into Alex’s ribs.

“Hey!” Elena shot in the next goal, still taking the lead and refusing to let the agent win the game.

“You haven’t answered my question,” Elena said, her words muffled as she shoves a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

“We’re so busy. And we had to reschedule so many things - the food testing, the dress fitting, actual appointments with the wedding organizer,” Alex trailed off.

“Must be hard being a DEO agent and an NCPD detective huh. So what do you already have planned?”

“The venue. We’re planning for it to happen at the beach in Midvale. Perfect sunset and all. Oh and the date! Hopefully in March next year,”

“Damn okay. That’s cool. I don’t have a dress in mind yet-”

“What are you talking about. All the bridesmaids are wearing the same dress. Hadn’t Kara shown you the options?”

Before she could stop herself, the controller slipped out of Elena’s hand and landed with a resounding thud onto the carpeted floor. Elena stuttered as she tried to comprehend what Alex just said.

Alex’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion as she picked up Elena’s controller. She turned towards the younger girl, who was looking at her with wide eyes and mouth gaping open. Alex looked around her, wondering what the hell got the girl in front of her looking like a goldfish and a golden retriever at the same time.

“I’m going to be a bridesmaid?” Elena stumbled out.

It took Alex a couple of seconds before she realized the depth of the question and why Elena was so shocked with a tinge of hopeful excitement in her eyes. Alex softened immediately at the revelation as she hastily placed down the controllers on the table.

“Sweetheart, you’re Maggie’s sister, and by extension mine too. You’re in the wedding,”

Elena spluttered, “Oh my god. Oh my god, I’m going to be a bridesmaid!” Her hand covering her mouth in shock as giddy excitement rises up to her head; a soft twinkle of disbelief and hope shining in her eyes.

Elena's lips broke out into an uncontrollable smile and no matter how hard she tried to wipe it off, she couldn’t. Elena cleared her throat to keep her cool, her hands clumsily retrieving the controller on the table, and it slipped through her fingers again.

Alex chuckled as she steadied the younger girl, pulling her in for a side hug. Elena melted into her body as Alex placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“Come on. I still have time to beat you,” Elena tsked as she takes the controller from Alex.

The game resumed again and the two women zoned into winning the game. Elena puckered her lips and narrowed her eyes. A timely sudden drop of her body into Alex’s arms startled the older woman and causing her to yelp.

Elena used the short diversion to conquer the game once and for all.

“And she shoots and she scores and Elena wins the game!” Elena shouted, mimicking the voice of a sports commentator.

“you little shit!”

\---

Maggie knew that Elena was home - hence why she’s carrying the groceries to make one of Elena’s favorite dish for dinner - and she half-expects the house to be in utter chaos because it’s Alex and Elena. Maggie doesn’t understand how her very bad-ass, very authoritative, very grown-up soon-to-be wife can be reduced into a teenager whenever her younger sister is around.

Maggie didn’t even know her fiancee could be even more childish than Kara.

but low and behold.

Maggie cautiously opened the door to her apartment, almost ready for one of her girls to jump scare her anytime now. Upon greeted by silence, she stepped into the threshold; eyes scanning the room as if she’s in a crime scene.

Everything seems to be relatively in order - tipping over suspiciously so.

“Alex? Elena? I’m home!” another step, another silence loomed over the apartment.

Maggie tightened her hold on the grocery bags. She turned towards the kitchen area, eyes still jumping from one corner to another. Finding the coast to be clear, Maggie set down the bags on the kitchen island.

Elena popped out from behind the kitchen island without any warning. "Boo!"

“Oh fuck!” Maggie jumped, clutching her hand to her chest as she scowled at the younger girl.

“Hi, Maggie!”

Maggie tried to catch her breath. The scare may or may not have left her a little winded. She’s really getting too old for this shit.

“What the hell happened to your face?”

Elena was sporting a full white face makeup, red lipstick stretching her lips into a sinister smile. Her eye-shadow was dark around her eyes and Maggie was wondering who died and replaced her little sister to become a rip-off Joker.

“Cosplay,” Maggie gave her a look, what-the-fuck written all over her face as she shakes her head in question. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, confused as fuck but finding no words to express it.

Honestly, what the fuck.

How are they related?

“Where’s Alex?” Maggie asked hesitantly. Because if Elena is looking like a knock-off Joker, she can only imagine Alex in something even more silly.

At the mention of her name, Alex came sprinting out of the room - white cloth draping over her entire body and fluttering behind her as she made her way towards the kitchen. There are three holes in the cloth - marking where her eyes and nose are - and Maggie can’t help but sigh really loudly.

“Oh what the fuck,” Maggie muttered as Alex ran straight up at her without stopping.

Alex lifted her off the ground, eliciting a squeal from the detective as she’ was twirled around in the kitchen.

“Alex! Put me down!” Maggie spluttered as she tried to catch her breath again. Alex swooped her down, evoking another squeal, before placing her to sit on the kitchen counter.

“Say I’m scary!”

“You’re a child, Alex Danvers.” Maggie swatted Alex’s shoulder, gently pushing her away so that she could get down. But Alex placed her two hands beside Maggie’s thighs, locking the detective effective in place.

Maggie pulled the white cloth away from Alex - her fiancee’s hair getting messed up in the process, making her a whole lot hotter than Maggie was prepared for.

Alex leaned closer till their faces were just mere inches away from each other.

“Hi,” she whispered softly and Maggie positively swooned.

“Hi,”

Maggie leaned in for a kiss, getting caught up in the softness of Alex’s lips as they made out at the kitchen counter. She pressed further into Alex, deepening their kiss as if they hadn’t seen each other in months.

“Ew! Get a room!”

The two ladies chuckled as they pulled away, turning around to catch Elena dipping her finger into the ice cream Maggie had bought.

“Oh my god, you and Kara are the same!” Maggie snapped into action as she tugged the ice cream away from Elena’s hands.

“No,” Elena whined, hands making a grabby motion to the ice cream Maggie had confiscated.

“No ice cream until after dinner. In the meantime, go wash off your face please and help me with dinner,”

Elena frowned and crossed her arms like a petulant child. She stuck her tongue out towards Maggie, refusing to move from her place. Both Alex and Maggie rolled their eyes.

“Come on kid, the party’s over. I’m hungry,” Alex said as stalked off back towards the bedroom, hands meticulously folding the white cloth along the way.

Elena hangs behind, fingers tapping on the granite kitchen counter as she watched her sister starts preparing for dinner. She slowly slid beside Maggie, tongue pressing the roof of her mouth as she contemplates what she wants to say.

She settled with, “Are you making my favorite?”

Maggie didn’t hesitate as she replied with a yes.

Elena feels her heart warmed and gratification hits her and overwhelms her entire body. Tears sprang to her eyes and Elena is nothing but thankful right this moment.

“Thank you,”

Maggie perked up at the heaviness in Elena’s voice. She tilts her head lovingly, pressing a soft kiss to Elena’s temple. A soft caress of her cheek and Elena feels loved.

“Go on. Dinner can’t make itself,”

“That’s why you’re here!”

\---

Dinner was a quiet affair - all the three women enjoying the peaceful ambiance of just being together. It was rare that the three of them were able to sit down together like this without being called in halfway through the meal.

“So I have a question,” Elena said after she swallowed another mouthful of her dinner.

Maggie hummed and gestured for her to shoot her question.

“So erm, hypothetically speaking -” Elena coughed and pretended to clear her throat. She twirled the fork in her right hand and started playing with her food. “ How, in-in theory - just to make it clear - would you erm, ask a girl out?” she rushed through the words.

Maggie nearly choked on her food, thumping her chest a couple of times as the sudden question shook her system.

Alex, on the other hand, only smirks as she rubs Maggie’s back gently.

“Are you going to ask Natalie out?”

Elena spluttered, nearly spitting her drinks out in the process. “N-no!”

Both adults raised their brows.

“okay... maybe?”

The older Sawyer suddenly feels giddy and overly-excited over the prospect of her baby sister asking a girl out since her coming out. Although it’s been months, Maggie wasn’t sure if Elena would actually suppress her own emotions due to what had happened with her parents.

“Okay alright. This isn’t a drill folks,” Maggie mumbled to herself.

“Who the fuck are you talking to,”

“The voices in my head,” Maggie deadpanned. Elena rolled her eyes as she stuffed another spoonful in her mouth.

Elena gestured for Maggie to go on, waiting for the wise wisdom that the senior resident gay could bring forth.

“Just be yourself,” was what left her sister’s mouth.

Elena dropped the fork onto the plate and stared hard at her sister, unamused at the cliche advice. Alex laughed at the look on her face, shaking her head at the sisters’ antics.

“You could you know, bring her flowers - that’s what Lena did for Kara,” Alex started.

Elena seems to perk up at the thought. Natalie does love the romance and chivalry when she dated her previous partners. Maybe a flower or two could be a good start.

“Or pizza and a good speech,” Maggie continued. Alex rolled her eyes at the reference of how they had gotten together. But Alex can’t deny that it hadn’t work.

It did, now look where they are now.

“What if she doesn’t like me like that,” Elena mumbled.

Alex shared a look with Maggie, her heartache slightly as remembered the initial rejection when she had kissed Maggie for the first time. A shiver ran up her spine as she recalled the pain and the humiliation then.

Alex placed a hand on Elena’s forearm, moving her fingers in circles to reassure the girl.

“You’ll never know if you never try. And besides, we'll be here for you for whatever the outcome is,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoy it! Do leave comments or kudos and tell what you think!
> 
> Again, really sorry for the late update. There's only a few more chapters left to this story so expects more fluff and less angst yea?


	19. and fall without blinking an eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what we're all waiting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF

The waves crashed onto the shore in a melodious rhythm, the dim light from the lamp post behind them basked the two girls with its glow. Elena stared straight ahead into the ocean, knees bent and body leaning into her hands behind her.

Natalie shifted beside her again, closing the small distance between them until their shoulders clashed together and their arms brushed each other. Elena took a deep breath, chalking up as the close proximity that is making her heart to beat harder inside her chest.

They’d been sitting there for the past half an hour. Natalie had needed an escape from her stress and Elena had suggested the pebbled beach that was about an hour away from campus. Along the way, they had gone to a 24-hour diner to pack some burger and fries before making their short retreat.

The night was still young but it was dark anyway. The escape into nature had soothed their hectic minds and hearts. The two girls simply enjoyed each other companies with the occasional conversations flowing between them. The wind blew stronger and Elena blamed that for making her snuggle a little closer to the girl beside her.

her heart pounds in her ears and Elena had to focus on her breathing.

“Sometimes I catch myself missing Brad,” Natalie spoke up after a lull in the conversation.

Elena tensed up at the mention of Natalie’s ex-boyfriend. The other girl seemed to sense the small shift from Elena so she continued her words before Elena could reply.

“But I realize, I don’t actually miss him in person,”

A pause. Elena’s shoulders relaxed again and the girl shifted until their bodies were pressed up against each other as much as it could. A shiver ran up Elena’s spine - again from the cold.

“I miss what it felt like to be so certain that I could be loved,”

Elena’s head snapped towards the girl beside her at the confession. Her mouth opened and closed as she stumbled on what she wanted to say. Because how can Natalie think that? How can she think that she wasn’t loved?

“You are loved. I promise you that,” Elena said, firm and strong, leaving no room for arguments.

Elena stared hard - full of love and determined to make her friend (her crush?) believe what she’s saying. Natalie swallowed the ball in her throat. She looked away from Elena’s intense gaze and stared right out at the sea.

Elena’s fingers started thrumming onto her knees as tons of questions filled her mind and swirled in her brain. The longer they stayed there, the harder it is to resist the urge. But Natalie had brought up her ex for a reason, right? Maybe she’s going to get back together with him. Or maybe she’s ready to start dating again?

Elena sighed. In her mind, it all sounds so simple. She could say it. She could ask Natalie out. She could confess her feelings to her best friend. She could do it all now. Or she’s going to waste her chance.

Her heart thrums harder and louder and Elena wonders if her eardrums are going to burst.

But what if Natalie doesn’t feel the same way? What if Elena’s reading all this wrong? What if she’s not good enough? What if...

“Hey, where’d you go?” Elena looked up as Natalie nudged her shoulder.

Confusion was written all over her face at Natalie’s question.

“You spaced out there. Where did you go?”

Elena hesitated. “Nowhere. Just thinking.”

Natalie didn’t push but nodded her head in acceptance of the answer. The silence continued, draping over them like a safety blanket. Elena checked her watched and realized it’s getting closer to midnight.

They didn’t have school the next day but Elena knew Natalie was going to suggest to go back sometime soon.

The wind started to get colder. Elena noticed the girl beside her shivering and she pulled out of her jacket out of instinct, before placing it on Natalie’s shoulder. After realizing the gesture was a little too chivalrous, Elena felt her face heat up. She was glad that darkness hid it, unbeknownst to her that Natalie was also blushing from her gesture.

“We should erm, probably head back into the car?” Natalie suggested.

Elena mentally berated herself. Her chances were lost; she had taken too long to make a move at the perfect opportunity. Damn it. She should have said something.

Now she’s too afraid to try.

She stood up and reached out her hand to give the other girl a boost up.

Caught up in her own head and beating herself up for being a coward, Elena doesn’t realize that she was ahead of Natalie as they walked back to the car. Out of the blue, she felt a hand gripping her elbow tight and Elena clasped the fingers on instinct, a part of her believing that Natalie had slipped and was about to fall onto the ground.

“Woah careful -” Elena’s word fell short as the hand on her elbow pulled her, fast and hard, into Natalie’s body.

and she barely had time to register anything, before the other girl pressed their lips together.

Elena’s brain short-circuited; her eyes falling shut as she melts into the sudden kiss. Natalie’s right hand cupped her cheek and Elena felt her knees go weak when the other girl’s thumb drew circles on her cheekbones.

Natalie pulled Elena closer, keeping her upright and letting the kiss deepened just a little bit. Elena felt herself floating and falling into place at the same time. and she could barely comprehend what she was feeling.

The kiss ended way too fast, in Elena’s mind, and a soft sigh escaped her lips as they pulled away ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry I should’ve asked you,” Natalie apologized but Elena placed a finger on her lips instead.

Her finger warmed at the touch and her lips tingled as she replayed the kiss in her head again.

“Don’t be. Unless you regret it,” Elena whispered.

“I don’t,” and something about how sure Natalie sounded like caused Elena’s heart to flutter just a bit more.

But still, Elena wasn’t sure what the kiss meant for either of them but she sure as hell wants it to go somewhere.

“I’m not a rebound or just a kiss, am I?” Elena asked almost timidly.

Natalie shook her head almost vehemently.

“No. Never. I-I like you, Elena. A lot. Have been for a long while now,”

Elena tilts her head, eyes narrowing a little as she looked through Natalie’s eyes. Natalie felt herself sink into the ground at the look, felt too open and too vulnerable. but not too afraid.

“Me too,” Elena replied as her face broke out into a smile.

“But I want to do this right. I want - I want to go on a date with you,” Elena continued, pulling back a little more until they were an arm-length apart.

“yea?”

“Yea.”

“Okay. But first, can I kiss you again?” Natalie asked, receiving a nod in return before pulling the other girl into a kiss again.

and right then, as the clock hits midnight, Elena felt herself floating on cloud nine.

-

Elena blushed as their hand brushed again, looking away in embarrassment while Natalie rolled her eyes. The other girl immediately took Elena’s fingers and intertwine them. Elena’s eyes darts around the area, her heart rate picking up at the clear display of affection in public.

But no one was looking, no one was caring.

“Is this alright?” Natalie asked, squeezing once to get Elena’s attention.

Finding herself too zoned in at their area of contact, Elena couldn’t find the right words to assure her date. She nodded her head, tightening her hold on their joined hands. Natalie gave a soft smile and Elena could’ve sworn her heart stopped at how beautiful her date is.

Not that she hadn’t realized that earlier. Natalie had taken her breath away when she showed up at her sister’s doorstep in a simple black dress that stops at her knees. Elena could’ve sworn then she had a heart attack at the thought that the beautiful woman was her date of the night.

But a push from her sister had broken her out of her daydream, and Elena stumbled as she greeted Natalie. She could hear her older sister snorting and she knew Maggie wouldn’t let that one go; yet, she couldn’t find herself to be bothered by the snickering and teasing whispers happening behind her.

“We’re here,” Natalie said, pulling Elena back to the present.

Elena knows she’s been quieter than usual, not that she wasn’t quiet person in general. But she and Natalie had always been able to create conversations out of nothing so this sudden shy and awkward personality was also a shock to her.

She still can’t believe how real and perfect this is. But it felt too surreal to be true. So she’s being a little cautious and perhaps, a little too hyper-aware of what this date actually means.

(It means she’s portraying to the world that she’s not what they thought she was. That she’s different.

that she’s one of them.)

Elena shook her parents' voice out of her head.

Today was special. It’s something she’d never picture herself having - something she didn’t think would make her happy beyond belief. and she’s not going to ruin it just because some people think otherwise.

“Are you okay? You’re quieter than normal,” Natalie asked as soon as they were seated in the restaurant that they had agreed to go on.

Elena took a deep breath and tried to settle the nerves in her stomach.

“I’m fine. Just a little nervous,” Elena confessed.

Natalie stared at her softly, nodding her head as she pressed her lips together. “I get it. Me too,”

and that seems to settle down the fear and anxiety, allowing peace and comfort to enjoy the evening.

-

“So obviously, the ethanol lit up in flames and I had to extinguish the fire and - don’t laugh! Stop laughing! - I panicked! I blew at it even though in the back of my mind I knew that wouldn’t work!”

Natalie doubled over as she laughed, clutching her stomach and holding the railing for support. Elena huffed and rolled her eyes.

“I can’t believe you placed a flaming rod into an ethanol bucket!”

“I was distracted,” Elena defended herself.

Natalie wiped the tears that had welled up in her eyes, pausing to catch her breath and straightening up till she was standing side by side with Elena. The two girls had decided to take a walk after their dinner, strolling through the pathways of the lake.

Natalie’s watch beeped and she realized how late it has gotten. She gasped at the time before dragging Elena back to the where they had their car parked.

“I promised your sister I was going to get you home by eleven,”

Elena rolled her eyes as Natalie pulled on her arm. With a deep breath, she tugged Natalie back to her side, snaking an arm around her waist and just remained hugging her like that.

“Thank you for tonight. I had fun,” Elena whispered, turning so that she’s facing her date.

Natalie seemed to soften at that, placing her hand on the other girl’s cheek before leaning in slowly. Elena met her halfway till their lips were pressed together and Elena was sure she’ll never get tired of the feeling.

They pulled away when they needed to catch their breath and Elena had to center herself from feeling like she’s floating away.

“Let’s get you home before curfew. I don’t want your sister to hate me,”

“I don’t think she will,”

“Not going to test that out!”

Elena laughed as Natalie ran off towards the car, tongue poking out as she gestured her to hurry up.

Perhaps, she could see herself being happy like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you guys think?
> 
> also fun fact, something similar happened to me (heh) and the ethanol incident actually happened to one of my close friends. She nearly blew up our lab but thankfully she didn't. Still create a great story though. 
> 
> P.S slow update as i'll be leaving for a study trip and won't have time to write anytime soon between now and next month!


	20. and there's one thing I need from you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone that’s in her corner. Just for her.
> 
> A family that she can fall onto. A family that won’t abandon her.

Elena’s phone rang loudly in the quiet study corner of the library. A collected angry hush echoed throughout the room, directing at her, as Elena fumbled for her phone that she had forgotten to put on silent. Sharp glares were piercing at her as she answered the phone in her haste to quieten it down.

“Hello?” She whispered.

With the phone securely between her ear and shoulder, Elena packed up her stuff as quickly as she could. More glares were sent her way as she rushed out of the library, too embarrassed to stay longer for the night.

“El?”

Maggie’s voice sounded hoarse on the other end and Elena frowned at that.

“Hey, is everything okay?” a sniff, a soft shuddering sigh.

Her frown deepened.

“Can you come over?” Maggie asked timidly.

Elena knew something was wrong then, could hear the sounds of Maggie sniffling and she knew that her older sister was crying. And the fact that she’s calling her instead of Alex? Something big must have happened.

“Yeah sure, give me 20 mins,”

“Okay,”

a soft silent and, if Elena heard correctly, a sob breaking out from Maggie.

“Hey, hey do you want to tell me what happened?” Maggie hiccuped and there are rustling noises and Elena pressed the phone harder into her ears.

“I’ll tell you when you get here. Just stay on the phone, please?”

Elena’s heart broke a little but complied anyway. She quickly flagged down a taxi and rushed out Maggie’s address, needing to get to her sister as soon as possible.

-

The minute the door open, Maggie was pulled into a hug by her sister. Not expecting the sudden - but not unwanted - embrace, Maggie finds herself breaking down pathetically in front of her younger sister.

The tears seem to flow non-stop and no matter how hard Maggie tries to control it, more seems to spill over. Elena rubbed circles around her back comfortingly and tightened her hold on Maggie. Something about how safe and secure, and how it feels like the pieces of her heart stopped falling apart made Maggie realized how she hadn’t had this kind of support before.

Someone that’s in her corner. Just for her.

A family that she can fall onto. A family that won’t abandon her.

and although she’s a little embarrassed to be a pathetic mess in front of her younger sister, she couldn’t deny that she needs this.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I got you, I got you,” Elena muttered in her ears and another heart-wrenching sob breaks free.

Elena maneuvered the two of them until they were sitting on the couch, keeping her arms around Maggie until they’re pressed tightly together. Maggie felt her whole body slumped forward, curling herself into her younger sister’s body and just let the waves of emotions pass over her body.

They sat there for almost an hour, in a comfortable silence, and Maggie felt simultaneously tired and relief at the same time. The weight on her shoulders and the bottle of emotions that she’s been holding on to was finally loose.

“I’m sorr-” Maggie started to apologize as she pulled away slightly to gather her bearings but Elena shushed her instead.

A soft press of kiss on her forehead and Maggie felt her heart flutter from the support she could feel conveyed through the action.

“May I know what happened? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Elena said, loosening her hold on Maggie but still keeping contact with her.

Their hands intertwined and Maggie found it as an anchor to keep her steady and stable enough to release the words that had been stuck in her throat.

“Alex and I fought. and I don’t think the wedding’s going to happen,” Maggie choked out.

“What? What happened?”

The detective choked on the emotions threatening to spill all over again as the memories of the fight replayed in her head. She grasped onto Elena’s hand tighter and forced herself not to shut down and shut her sister out.

“She wants kids. I don’t,” Elena frowned, confusion written all over her face because how can that lead to a breaking of marriage?

“I don’t understand -”

“She thinks we can’t overcome it, she thinks it’s better if we - if we-” another wave of emotions overwhelmed Maggie.

The older sawyer thought she had already cried too much, but it turns out, there are more tears that are spilling over. Elena snaked an arm across her shoulder, pulling her sister in and trying to console the detective.

Elena waited until Maggie had calmed down again. “What about you? What do you think?”

Maggie seemed to be taken aback by the question, seemed to not been thinking about her wants, her needs, and her desires as the entire thing went down. Elena’s heart breaks the longer Maggie hesitated to answer.

“It doesn’t matter what I think. If she thinks-”

“Maggie, stop, please. Stop thinking about everybody else. What do you want?”

“I want her. I want to get married. I want to call her my wife. I want to have a house and a dog and I want her. I just don’t want kids,” her voice broke and it stabbed Elena’s heart at the pure anguish her sister is in.

Elena didn’t know what to say to make it all feel better. Any comforting words seem to fall short, knowing that what Maggie is feeling is something that she wouldn’t be able to understand. She can’t even understand how a disagreement of having kids can cause an entire future marriage to fall apart. It seems too silly in the grand scheme of everything else.

“I’m here for you. Okay? and I am here to listen, I am here to stay by your side in whatever happens and I am not going to leave you. What can I do to help?”

“Just stay? Please?”

“Of course, do you want to watch a movie or tv show?”

“can we watch sherlock holmes? the tv series?” Elena grabbed the remote and the blanket from the back of the couch, before finding the show that Maggie wants.

They settled on the couch, closer than ever, not letting go of each other as the show played on. Elena pressed another soft kiss on the top of Maggie’s head.

“I love you,” she whispered.

Maggie’s eyes teared up and she felt herself choking up again. She nodded her head in response but found herself to overwhelm to return the sentiments. Elena seemed to understand and only pressed her body closer into Maggie’s.

They stayed like that until Maggie fell asleep, head on Elena’s lap while the younger Sawyer had been running her fingers through her sister’s hair. Elena made sure that her sister was comfortable, tucking in the blanket and placing a cushion under her head as she slid out from under Maggie. The detective lay sprawled across the couch, exhaustion pulling her into a deep sleep as Elena pattered around the room. She scribbled a quick note and placed it on the coffee table before grabbing Maggie’s keys.

She has someone to confront.

-

The knocking on the door of Kara’s apartment at midnight woke Alex up from her nap on the couch. She had fallen asleep with a pint of ice cream in her hand and her sister’s feet on her lap. Alex groggily rose up, her right hand finding the gun under the coffee table just in case.

She looked through the peephole and she frowns as she found Elena on the other side. Placing the gun on the table by the door, Alex took a deep breath before opening it. She wasn’t sure how much Elena knew of what happened but judging by the fact that the younger girl was here, Maggie must have told her.

Alex wasn’t prepared - hadn’t thought of - for the moment that someone was going to bite her head off.

(It looked as if that’s what’s gonna happen.)

“I don’t understand.” Elena started, voice hard and emotionless, as soon as Alex opened the door. The older Danvers gulped at the fury she could feel radiating off the younger girl.

“I don’t understand how something so - how not wanting kids can make you change your mind about marrying Maggie,”

Alex opened her mouth to speak but was promptly cut off by Elena by a rise of a hand.

“No, wait. Shut up. Don’t speak,” Alex nodded, speechless as she stared on with wide doe-y eyes. Alex opened the door wider and gestured Elena in.

Elena huffed, pushing her way into the apartment before swiftly turning to face her supposed-to-be-sister-in-law. The confusion bleeds into frustration and Elena lets out the things she knows that Maggie would have been thinking during the entire discourse.

“Is she not enough for you? Do you not actually see a future with her? Or is this your twisted way to say you regretted ever proposing in the first place?”

“What? No! I don’t - I will never regret -”

“Then why are you wanting to end a relationship based on a future that is not set, Alex? I don’t understand how you want to throw one of the best things in your life based on something you can never be certain of. Is she not worth going through the journey with to figure it out together?”

Alex opened her mouth but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat and a soundless whimper escaped her lips. She shook her head and turned away as soon as she felt the tears pricked at her eyes.

“You don’t understand. I want kids. She doesn’t. She never will. There’s no other solution to it,”

Elena’s shoulder sagged while she suppressed herself from rolling her eyes at the shortsightedness of it all.

“How do you know that one of you won’t change your mind?”

Alex stuttered, her tongue twisting and nothing seem to be working right and her brain can’t seem to find the answers to her question. All that she knows - that she’s certain of - is that if the topic of kids came up later into their marriage, the more painful it will be.

“I’m just trying to save us from the future heartbreak,” Alex rasped out. Her body trembles as emotions overwhelm her.

Elena softened, hands reaching out for the person she had also considered to be her sister ever since they’ve come into her life. A brief nod from Alex and Elena grasped her fingers.

“It’s not just that, is it? The kid's thing is just a metaphor to what you’re really afraid of,”

Alex shuddered, turning away but Elena tightened her hold onto Alex’s hands. There was a soft rustling from the couch and the older Danvers is impressed with how Kara seemed to not be waking up from all the commotion going on in the apartment.

But Alex knew what Elena had said was true. It wasn’t exactly about kids, it was about being married and starting a life together. It’s about the risks and the potential failures and everything in between. It’s about the permanency of it all

it’s about -

“In the US, about 40-50% of married couples end up having a divorce,” Alex started.

She pulled away from Elena because it’s too much. It’s too much to think of.

What if Maggie ends up hating her? What if they end up falling out between the first year of being lawfully wedded to each other or worse - after ten years together? What if they found out more things that they can’t stand about each other? What if-

Alex stumbled into a chair and fell into a sitting position. Her knuckles were white as she grasped the edge of the table tight.

“Alex, I need you to listen to me,” Elena said, kneeling down in front of the clearly distraught woman. She placed a hand on Alex’s knee and slowly lifted her chin so that they were making eye contact.

A shaky breath left Alex’s lips.

“You and Maggie are soulmates. The two of you belong to each other and nothing in this world is going to tear the two of you apart,”

“But what if we tear each other apart?”

and that shot through straight into Elena’s heart. and Elena realized how deep the fear goes.

“You won’t. You won’t because the two of you love each other more than you will ever hate each other. That’s why you and Maggie were willing to deny yourself of happiness to protect each other from future heartbreak. That’s why Maggie was willing to let you go - that’s why you’re willing to break Maggie’s heart now because at least she won’t be as permanently affected as compared to after years of being married. At least, she can find someone else to get over you - right?”

The tears escaped freely from Alex’s eyes but she didn’t bother to wipe it from her face. Elena was right. She doesn’t know how this young girl could see through all the bullshit that Alex’s been convinced of, that she could extract out the truth that Alex wasn’t even aware of.

and it hurts. because she’s right. it was never about the kids. just like it wasn’t about the dj or the band or the dress or the tux. And it isn’t because they can never resolve the kid issues, it’s about what if it comes to a point where they can’t see eye to eye and there’s only one solution to it all. It’s about what if they end up hating each other so much?

“and the thing is, Alex, it’s either you want to go through this with her or you don’t. If you see a life with her, if you see the two of you at your end together, then maybe, maybe you should think again about letting all this go. Because if you do, if you let Maggie go, just know that it will be one of the greatest mistakes you’ll ever make. Denying yourself, denying her, of the happiness because you’re afraid,”

Another noise came from the couch and the top of Kara’s head suddenly perked up at the couch. Elena squeezed Alex’s knees, patting them before leaving the apartment as quietly as she could.

Alex watched the door close, her mind still in overdrive, unable to process everything all at once.

“Alex? What are you doing there?” Kara asked sleepily, turning around with bleary eyes to acknowledge her sister.

“Let’s go to bed, Kar,” Alex replied softly, ignoring Kara’s question as she walked on shaky knees towards the bed.

As she curled herself into her sister’s warmth heat, one thing settled in her mind.

She can’t let Maggie go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Slight angst that i didn't think i would write but i couldn't help myself after it was written. 
> 
> Do leave comments and kudos, i love reading them and it helps keep me motivated to write more! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	21. i found a love for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I got your note,”
> 
> Elena merely replies with a sheepish smile as she rounds to the kitchen to place the grocery items into the fridge.
> 
> “You didn’t have to do that,” Maggie continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update but school has kept me busy. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Elena winced as the door creaked open loudly. It was two in the morning and her hands were full of bags of ice creams and treats that could hopefully lighten up Maggie’s mood slightly. A soft clearing of throat startled the younger girl as she yelped and jumped a little.

She turned to find Maggie sitting on the stool near the bar, her eyebrows raised albeit a little tiredly.

“I got your note,”

Elena merely replies with a sheepish smile as she rounds to the kitchen to place the grocery items into the fridge.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Maggie continued.

Elena rolled her eyes as she threw a packet of skittles towards Maggie - the detective catching it perfectly. She mumbled something under her breath (something about it being unhealthy to eat this late into the night) but ripped open the packet anyway.

Elena loaded up two hot pockets into the microwave and went to sit by her sister while waiting for the timer to end.

“I’ll do it again if I have to. Someone has to, that’s what sisters are for,” Elena said, pushing a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear.

Maggie gulped. The emotions swirling inside her but throughout it all, she knew at the end of the day, she isn’t as alone as she thinks she is anymore.

even if Alex -

Maggie stopped the line of thinking. She can’t think about it now. It still hurts, it still is confusing because she doesn’t really know where they stand right now. Alex hasn’t explicitly said that she wants the relationship to end but -

“Stop thinking about it. We’re going to eat these hot pockets and then we’re going to sleep in that massive bed and we’ll face tomorrow together, okay?”

Maggie swallowed another skittle before nodding her head.

“Okay,”

-

Elena left for her class soon after she forced Maggie to take a day off just to recuperate and have some alone time to gather herself. Elena had promised to come by after school and while Maggie had tried to negotiate with her, a single look had shut her up.

Maggie hadn’t realized how scary Elena can be but holy crap, she’s glad that they’re related.

The detective took out the store-bought tiramisu cake from the fridge, grabbing a fork and stuffing her mouth with a large piece. As she was enjoying her self-pity cake, a knocking on the door caused a tired sigh to escape her lips. Maggie dragged her feet to the front door, a nag on the tip of her tongue as she imagines Elena forgetting something for school.

But instead, Alex stood behind the threshold, holding a box of something and flowers in her hand. Maggie swallowed the lump in her throat and as they made eye contact, time seems to frozen still.

“Can we talk please?”

A step back, and a sharp nod, Maggie gestured for her to enter the apartment. Alex paced around the room, hands fidgeting and flying around but still, no words were exchanged.

Time kept ticking and Maggie only had one thought in her mind.

“If you’re here to end it, then I need to hear you say it,” Maggie forced out even as blood roars in her ears.

Her heart thumps louder and louder until she could hear nothing but it, until she could feel, with every beat, her lungs constrict further and further. Oxygen seems to not be entering her brain and Maggie felt light-headed and almost ready to faint.

Her breathing became heavy and she stumbled on nothing. A soft pair of hands held her up and she heard words but it didn’t filter through her ears.

“Maggie, take a deep breath sweetheart, please, baby. Deep breaths,”

There’s a palm on her chest and that seems to ground her. Maggie clutched onto the wrist, her blurry eyes focusing a little to find Alex in front of her, concern and worry written on her face.

“S-sorry,” Maggie shuddered out but Alex hushed her.

The detective seemed to get her bearings with Alex’s touch grounding her into the present. Even as her vision stops being blurry, she still feels slightly dizzy to stand. Maggie pulled away from Alex’s warmth, missing it immediately, as she drops into the couch.

After a while, Maggie finally found the courage again, “You came here for?”

“To talk, to work this out. Because I don’t want to break up with you, Maggie,” Alex confessed, taking a seat beside Maggie but keeping a good arm’s length apart.

Maggie bit the inside of her cheek, lips pressed into a thin line as she considers what to say without sounding too emotional over it.

“That’s not what you implied yesterday,”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I’m really truly sorry,”

To stop herself from reaching out to Maggie, Alex started playing with the loose strands of threads on her sweater. There’s a lot more that Alex has to say because she knows she’s the one who had fucked it up again but she doesn't know where to start exactly. Alex took a deep breath and tried to center herself to get rid of the nerves rising in her body.

“I messed up. Again. Because I was afraid and I did the one thing that I promised myself not to do - run and self-sabotage the good things in my life. And I know I have no excuse, that being scared won’t hold me accountable for the pain that I put you in. But if you are willing to give me a chance, I’d like to -” her voice cracked and Alex had to swallow the emotions building up in her throat.

“ - I’d want to prove to you that I can work myself better to be able to love you the way you deserve, the way you love me,” the agent breathed out shakily, watching as Maggie stood up to pace in front of her.

“We can’t keep going back and forth without hearing each other, Alex. That’s what the entire argument had been like. And you made me feel as if - as if you don’t want me anymore. as if I’m not enough for you,”

Maggie had to whisper the last part out because the tears had threatened to spill all over again and God, she never had been this emotional but the entire fight had left her reeling and out of control, grasping onto pieces of the relationship, in hopes that it will be alright in the end.

but Maggie doesn’t want to hope right now. She doesn’t want to be disappointed and hurt and dropped as if she meant nothing.

“You are more than enough. That I promise you. It was never about you not being enough for me, Maggie. Please believe me,”

“But you want kids too. So how can I be enough if I can’t give you that?”

Alex curled her fingers around Maggie’s wrist, pulling the detective into her and was surprised that Maggie willingly falls into her arms. Alex let out the breath that she hadn’t realized she’s been holding the entire time, clutching onto Maggie tight and breathing her in instead.

“It’s enough because, without you, I wouldn’t want kids. I need you, Maggie. More than anything,”

“So how?”

“I don’t know but if we’re in this together, I think we can figure it out,”

and it was then that Maggie truly relaxes into Alex, melting her body completely until she is nothing but pliant in her fiancee’s arms.

“I love you so much. I’m so sorry I made you think otherwise,”

Maggie shook her head as she buried further into Alex, letting the comfort of the warm embrace lull her into a sense of safety and serenity.

“Together,” she mumbled.

They’ll figure it out together.

-

Elena opened the door to her sister’s apartment using the spare key that Maggie had given her a while back. Sometimes she forgets that she has it, too used to knocking the door, but now Maggie seemed to not have heard her knocks so she let herself in. She threw her bag on the couch and dragged her foot towards the kitchen. With her earbuds still inside her ears and her eyes glued to her phone, Elena completely misses the sounds coming from the kitchen.

“Oh my god!” Elena shouted as soon as she looked up.

“Fuck!” “Cover your eyes!”

It took her brain a second too long to reboot as she spun on heels, hands covering her eyes but her mouth dropping to the floor as she realized she had seen too much.

Too much skin.

Too many places that are supposed to be covered but not covered at all.

Fuck. that’s fucking gross.

Never in her life did she thought she would walk in on Maggie and Alex going at it in the kitchen. Oh, that will burn in her memory forever.

“You can turn now. We’re decent,” Maggie said, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Elena turned back around, slowly dropping her hand and opening her eyes to actually make sure that she doesn’t see what she’s not supposed to see. “So I’d take it, you guys are okay now?” Elena said with a teasing tone.

Maggie scowled and rolled her eyes at Elena, glaring at the girl for interrupting her time with Alex.

The door flew open again and this time, Kara came in with a guest in tow.

“Ooh, why does she look like she just caught you guys - wait, you did, didn’t you?” was the first thing Kara said.

Elena nodded her head dumbly as the rated images flash in her mind again, groaning as she tries to wipe it off. Kara gave her a sympathetic pat on her shoulder before moving past her and into the kitchen.

By the time Elena gathered herself, she finally registered the guest that Kara had brought along.

“Holy shit. You’re Lena Luthor,”

-

“I can’t believe she just fucking passed out when she saw you,”

“Must be my charms,”

“Hey, you useless gay of a sister, get up, dinner is ready,”

“I’m bi,” Elena croaked out as she sat up, rubbing the back of her neck as she tried to get her bearings again.

She heard her sister scoff at her and Elena would usually retort back but the sight of the Lena Luthor right in front of her eyes is still making her question her reality at the moment.

“You’re Lena Luthor,” she said dumbly.

“Yes, you mention that already. Lena, this is Maggie’s sister, Elena. Elena, this is my girlfriend,”

“Oh, damn, how’d you land a goddess like her,”

It took a while before Elena realized what she had said, squeaking out a high-pitch sorry. The younger girl then tried to make herself busy with setting up the table, trying to ignore the fact that her woman crush is right there in front of her.

“Well, at least we know that you don’t see me as an evil Luthor,” and Elena swears she could just melt at the voice alone.

“Are you kidding me? After all the good things you’ve done for National City, plus all of L Corps research and inventions... You’re definitely someone I’ve been looking up to ever since I started college here,”

“Careful there, kid. Wait until Natalie hear how you fainted at the sight of a pretty woman,”

“Oh, Natalie? She loves you more than I do, which is insane because I really admire you and all the work -”

“Oh my god, you’re such a nerd,” Maggie exclaimed, stopping Elena from rambling on and on about Lena.

Not that it wasn’t endearing.

It was just a bit disturbing to see her sister fawn over her friend like that.

As the rest of the crew settled onto the table and Alex finally placing down the lasagna on in the middle, Maggie couldn’t help but feel the warmth as she sat down beside her sister.

She shared a glance with Elena, smiling as the girl looked comfortable sitting with the people she called her family.

Family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment your thoughts? 
> 
> I love reading any comments and feedback that you guys have. Also, the end is coming pretty soon. But I have yet written it out. I have an idea. I just need time between school work and my other commitments to write it out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. running home to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't say what the days will unfold  
> Can't change what the future may hold  
> But I want you in it  
> Every hour, every minute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this fic! I hope yall enjoy it

  
a crackle of the mic and a soft clearing of a throat caught the guests’ attention as they turned towards the middle of the dance floor to spot the bride with the mic in hand. A unanimous silence washed across the venue and the sudden sole attention caused Alex to fidget from the minor discomfort.

She cleared her throat again and focused her eyes on her wife.

_Her wife._

Maggie looked at her, with a slight tilt of her head and a raised eyebrow. Alex replied with a soft smile and with a nod as a cue, the piano started playing. Alex intertwined her fingers with her wife’s before dragging her closer, taking a deep breath as she forced the nerves to not overwhelm her.

she opened her mouth and started to sing,

 

> _“Can't say how the days will unfold,_  
>  _Can't change what the future may hold_  
>  _But, I want you in it_  
>  _Every hour, every minute,”_

Maggie’s eyes teared up and she bit her bottom lip to stop the tears from spilling over but her heart thrums in her chest and warmth flooded her senses as Alex pulled her closer till their bodies were just inches away from each other.

 

> _“This world can race by far too fast_  
>  _Hard to see while it's all flying past_
> 
> _But, it's clear now,_  
>  _When you're standing here now_  
>  _I am meant to be wherever you are next to me”_

Their foreheads touched as they sway to the melody of the song, the world around them fading quietly as all their senses are filled with each other. Maggie wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders, keeping her tight and Alex turned her voice into a soft whisper as she continued the song

 

> _“All I want to do_  
>  _Is come running home to you_  
>  _Come running home to you._
> 
> _All my life I promise to_  
>  _Keep running home to you_  
>  _Keep running home_  
>  _To you,”_

Alex passed the mic to Kara before snaking her own arms around Maggie’s waist. She bends her neck a little to catch Maggie’s eyes, and a watery laugh escaped her lips as she spotted the track of tears running down Maggie’s cheeks.

Alex placed a soft kiss to the corner of her wife’s mouth, breathing her in and melting into her arms.

Kara continued the song for her sister, and as the two brides tried to keep their tears at bay, they failed miserably as Kara hit the final chorus.

The final notes of the piano fade off and Alex used the back of her hand to wipe off the tears on Maggie’s face.

“I love you, Maggie Sawyer-Danvers,”

“And I love you, Alex Danvers-Sawyer,”

-

Elena discretely wiped the tears with the tips of her fingertips as she watched her sister danced with her wife. She felt a squeeze on her arm and Elena turned around, a smile plastered on her face as Natalie looked at her warmly.

“soft,” Natalie whispered, a teasing smile on her face as Elena gaped at her in mock-disgust.

Natalie pulled Elena towards the dance floor, their heels clicking softly in tandem and Elena had to bit her lips as she was struck by how beautiful the girl in front of her is.

“May I have this dance?” Natalie asked with a curtsy that left Elena blushing.

Elena stammered her reply but as soon as Natalie held out her hand, she couldn’t deny her date. Their hands intertwined and as soon as the music changes into another slow song, Natalie pulled Elena in closer, their hands around each others’ shoulders.

“Thank you for inviting me to this wedding, El,”

“Thank you for not bailing on me even when I barely spent any time with you,” Elena whispered, resting her head on Natalie’s shoulder.

From the corner of her eyes, she noticed her sister wiggling her eyebrows at her. Subtly, she pointed her middle finger towards Maggie’s direction before quickly putting it away as she spots Alex’s mother glaring playfully at her.

“What are the chances I’ll make out with a bridesmaid at this wedding?”

Elena scoffed, her eyebrows scrunched together as she pulled away to stare at her date questionably.

“Maybe if you asked Lena, she’ll let you kiss her girlfriend,”

“Hmm, do you think they’re open to - ow!” Elena rolled her eyes even as she rubbed the area she just smacked soothingly.

Natalie chuckled as her right hand reached up to cupped Elena’s cheek. She pulled the bridesmaid closer, pressing their lips together and Elena found herself getting lost in the kiss.

A sudden smack on the back of her head brought her back to reality.

“Get a room you two,” Kara teased, enjoying watching the two young girls reddening and stammering as they pulled apart slightly.

“um, hey Kara, what- do you need me for something?”

“While I am sorry to disturb this moment, the wedding is ending soon and I need your help, Elena,”

“Right okay um,” Elena turned back towards her date, a sheepish and regretful look on her face.

“Bridesmaids’ duty calls. I’ll wait for you?”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s going to end pretty late and I don’t want to keep you out longer than necessary,”

“Is there anything I can help with? I kinda still want to spend some more time with you,” Natalie said, pushing a lock of hair nervously behind her ear.

Elena softened and was about to reply before she was cut off by Kara.

“Actually, another pair of hand would be of great help,”

Elena flashed a grateful smile towards Kara, her eyes glistening before she turned back towards Natalie. Natalie squeezed her fingers reassuringly and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

“Great, lead the way,”

...

**_three month later..._ **

Her fingers shook as she stands at the stage, hands clutching her degree in her hand as her eyes scanned the hall for familiar faces.

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she spots no one she knows among the crowds. Her eyes traveled to Natalie’s, a few people between them, and shrugged her shoulders dejectedly.

Natalie stared back at her with worry in her eyes, glancing back into the crowd, determined to find at least one familiar face for Elena but coming up with nothing either.

Elena glanced towards the ceiling to keep the tears at bay, shaking her head softly as she tried to focus on what her head of the department was trying to say.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your graduating class of 2020”

The crowd cheered and Elena absorbed their energy to force herself into the moment. She threw her hat above her, shouting in delight and tried to ignore the ache of her heart.

-

She squeezed through the crowd, ducking around and under extremely hyped graduates, slipping past and narrowly missing elbows as she maneuvered through the hall. She held on to her helmet with her over-sized windbreaker flapping against her body.

“Sorry! Sorry!” she shouted as she turned a corner, her eyes scanning the room for her sister.

Maggie knew she was more than just late, the investigation she was leading had pulled her further and further away from the plans of attending Elena’s graduation. And to make matter worse, both Alex and Kara had been caught up trying to chase down aliens on the other end of the city.

It wasn’t until Maggie had finally noticed the time on her watch that she realized how late she’d been.

She had ridden her bike as fast as she could to NCU, catching the final end of the ceremony and before she could even call her sister’s name, the crowd engulfed her as they rushed forward to their own respective family members or significant others. Maggie huffed out a breath and made her way through the room. She lengthens herself, stretching her neck and tiptoeing, looking around for the person she was looking for.

she had to find her.

Her hand clutched tightly to the graduation gift in her hand.

It wasn’t till her eyes scanned the area one more time when she saw her. Elena was trying to slip out of the hall but was stopped many times by friends congratulating her and hugging her. But it was clear, from the tension in her body that Elena wanted nothing to do but leave.

Maggie’s heart broke a little as she realized that Elena must have thought no one came to her graduation.

Nostalgia hit the detective as she started to make her way towards her younger sister. A few years ago, she hadn’t had any family related by blood other than her aunt, and a few years ago, Maggie would never have believed that she had a younger sister - who had come to find her and had stayed. All these times, she had longed and wished for her family, and all those times had led her to where she is.

Elena stood there with long brown hair flowing with the wind, a forced smile stretched onto her lips and steel in her eyes.

Maggie smiled softly as she sneaked behind the younger girl, who had failed to notice the detective as she forced herself to converse with her friend.

“Happy graduation, little sister,” Maggie said.

Shock face greeted her and before she knew it, Elena had tumbled forward and crashed her body into her older sister.

“I’m sorry I was late,” Maggie whispered, hugging the girl tight as she felt Elena shaking.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here,” Elena sobbed, the tension and sadness leaving her body as she stayed in her sister’s arms.

“I’ll always be here,”

“Promise?”

“Promise,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Running Home to You by Grant Gustin (aka the Flash) 
> 
> I really hope yall had enjoyed reading this fic as much as I had enjoyed writing it. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. I am really grateful and thankful for all your comments, feedback and kudos and to all of you who read this fic. Thank you so much for giving this a try. 
> 
> Please do leave a comment on what you think about this ending and this fic. 
> 
> Thank you and much love.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave Kudos or Comments if you like this fic! Any feedback are welcomed and i truly truly love to hear your opinion on this!


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